A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

If it’s working, keep going.

Maybe print this one on a Post-it and stick it to your refrigerator or your mirror or wherever you spend the most time.

• No need to buy a new curriculum if the one you have works.
• No reason to adopt the new-fangled philosophy if you like the one you have.
• No need to get rigid about boundaries or freedom, if the balance you’ve struck works for your family.
• No reason to spend more time away from the house if being home is what makes everyone happy.

You do you.

If it works, it’s okay to keep going, no matter how others understand your choices.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

Whenever you feel that whoosh of peace in your home.
Pause to notice. Inhale. Then… Exhale and smile.

S T R E S S

The invisible thief.
The batterer of nervous systems.

Worry, fear, too much to do, pressure, cruelty, failing to meet our own ideals, tragedy, loss… Stress is inevitable. I am not great at getting rid of it when it’s raging so no advice here.

What I do know: sometimes after stress rolls in like high tide in a storm, it rushes out to sea just as quickly. A tiny pivot, a shift, and whoosh! It’s gone.

It’s happened to me. A small kindness, a changed perspective, a little space away from the source of the stress and just as quickly as I had been flooded with unwelcome adrenaline, I was back to calm (with a little left over tingle and tenderness).

Whoosh! Peace. It magically appears. Notice. Breathe:

• inhale,
• exhale,
• smile.

And maybe add: Sleep.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

Three tips to fix a rough morning:

1. Feed your child a turkey or almond butter sandwich.

Protein goes a long way toward improving a mood.

2. Move the lesson to the floor.

Create an egalitarian environment where you are both at the same level—the ground.

3. Include the pet (or a favorite toy).

Cuddle the cat, pet the dog, snuggle a baby doll, admire the assembled LEGO kit. Everyone needs a support companion on a rough morning.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

Have you seen this on social media? 

“Parenthood: I would die for you, but I really don’t want to make you dinner.” 

—adapted from a meme by picklebums

It’s funny because sometimes it’s true. One of the mysteries of life is you feed your kids, you turn around, and in five seconds, they want to eat again. And again. And then again. 

Are we raising children or hobbits—who have second breakfasts, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper?

In between serving the second breakfast, dinner, supper, and tea, someone must also plan the meals, go to the store, put away the food, chop the food, cook the food, clean up the food. 

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to homeschool, too.

Help is on the way! 

Mary Ann Kelley tells us her Secrets of a Busy Cook in our Brave Learner Home Master Class webinar, bringing with her twenty years of experience with meal planning and cooking while homeschooling!

Her food blog, Add Salt and Serve, has been highlighted in The New York Times, PBS Parents, The Spruce Eats, and more. 

Let Mary Ann help you with the combined challenges of homeschooling and feeding the kids! 

You can be gentler with your children if you get into the habit of being gentler with yourself.

Have you ever noticed that when you yell at one of your kids, it’s more like you’re yelling at yourself?

If I let my sweet child have it for being too silly, or leaving their shoes strewn down the hallway, or for spending too much time watching TV, the underlying meaning is: Darn it. How did I raise such (fill in the blank) un-self-regulated, messy, laze-abouts?

My anger and irritation usually had more to do with how much I felt I wasn’t succeeding in parenting than it did with a true judgment of my child.

The source of so much parental anguish is the feeling of failing—failing to provide the best resources, failing to teach good habits, failing to instill higher values. Then we turn that anguish onto our kids, hoping there’s a shortcut. We can shame them into better behavior and absolve ourselves of those uncomfortable feelings.

To be gentler with ourselves would mean we are less attached to how our kids show up in the world. We could see them as independent beings rather than products of our parenting.

The more we lower the parenting bar, the more success we’ll feel and the less we’ll rain down the wrath of Mom or Dad on our children’s heads. The gentleness starts inside—a kind word, a warm smile in the mirror. Reminding ourselves that we are human, limited and glorious all at once.

Once you get in that habit for yourself, you’ll notice the quirkiness of your children and feel less compelled to treat them with harsh words and pressure.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!