A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

If you’re anything like me, you want life to be smooth sailing and believe it to be possible! But I’ve noticed that in the darkest hours, that’s when I hear my own voice and all the unspoken words that now must be faced.

I heard a speaker call this experience the unsolicited gift of despair. When you reach the end of your rope, the good news is there’s no more rope. It’s the realization that you can’t salvage your life or anyone else’s. You get to make a new (scary) choice.

So on the day your nerve fails, your children break your heart, and you’re out of energy for other people’s nonsense, you’re nearer to your breakthrough than you imagine. Throw it all out: the plans, the beliefs, the expectations, and put your peace first.

Take one step

Plan one thing today that feels like chicken noodle soup, a cozy blanket, a long hug.

• Book time with a therapist.
• Take a class.
• Spend a weekend alone.

Let your peace of mind be your guide—even if it takes you in what you have always been told are scary directions. You’ll know you are on course when you can breathe, when you aren’t looking over your shoulder, when you smile, when you glimpse a future you want to have.

In other words: your despair is the first clue that a new, different life is possible.

You don’t have to move quickly. Keep going in the direction of: joy, rest, confidence, relief, safety, curiosity.

You don’t have to do it alone!

There are so many communities that offer you tools designed to support you. I’ve written books and we have a membership community called Brave Learner Home if your struggle is related to homeschooling.

No matter what, you have the strength, courage, and wisdom to trust that something new can emerge.

Rooting for you always.

PS: If this message stops you in your tracks, start by pausing and writing your thoughts. You can take a match to the paper later. Write the wrong thing and let yourself know your truest thoughts. You’ll be okay.

We always think we know who our kids are. Then they go do something we could never have imagined.

One day we turn around and realize that they are who they always were and we see how it all fits together. At least that’s how it appears to me on this side of it.

Thought Exercise

Identify one way you’re different than your parents expected, but that also makes sense of who you’ve always been. I think it would be fun to think about that.

My parents thought I would for sure be an actress! Maybe I’d write a little too. Full circle: the internet (didn’t even exist back then) gave me the chance to do both on my terms!

So stay curious.

Trust the process.

You’ve got this!

This post was originally shared on Instagram.
Watch the accompanying reel for more.

I’m thinking a lot about the craving to provide an idyllic childhood—the notion that we can somehow avoid the slings and arrows of this life on behalf of our children. We:

• picture them happily tramping through mud in a forest.
• imagine them playing without prompting, using hand crafts and art supplies.
• hope they care more about reading a book than watching TV.
• dream of contentment and creativity, rather than restlessness and boredom.
• want natural learning (that doesn’t require workbooks!) that the child values.

To create a childhood that includes nature, the arts, crafts, reading, and an appetite to learn requires an involved parent or adult. Kids can’t shop for craft supplies. They can’t walk in the woods alone (usually). They don’t have books unless someone takes them to the library. They aren’t aware of all they could learn unless they are exposed to topics unfamiliar.

How do they get these? Some person—someone—has to participate with them on some level.

Lately, the conversation I am having with parents goes something like this:

I would love my child to have that homeschool life you are describing. But I don’t think I can do it. I don’t the have (time, money, patience, creativity) to do it myself!

We all want things for our kids but then we are timid to become the learners we envision our children becoming!

To homeschool means that you will:

• tramp through the mud in a forest with your children
• play with your children without prompting, pulling out art supplies and craft materials, and exploring them together
• read a book instead of watching TV or listening to a podcast because you value reading
• find contentment for yourself, test your own creativity, rather than giving in to restlessness and boredom and the endless trap of “productivity”
• learn more about children and learning because you want not, not because you have to

The life we want for our children can also be ours. Homeschooling can be, without a doubt, one of the richest pathways to wholeness and profound learning for you, not just your children.

You really can do this. Millions of us have. And so many parents work while providing this childhood for their kids.

I’m here to help and so is all of Brave Writer!

We’ve talked about the educational importance of parties. Essential.

But what if you’re nervous? Or what if you’re not quite ready to throw a big themed party?

Here are ways to dip your pinkie toe into the water.

• Begin with “Arghhh. Ahoy mateys! What’ll ya have for br-r-r-r-r-reakfast?”
• Continue by wearing a wig (or hat or tree branch).
• Put M&Ms in a bowl unattended for the whole day.
• Join the board (or video) game right when they ask. Yell, shriek, be competitive!
• Binge-watch the extended version of LOTR or all of the Bluey episodes or every season of Abbott Elementary.

Got it? These will warm you up!

Which one will you do first?

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

I can’t think of a quicker way to kill a love of reading than to test kids on trick bits of information to prove that the child has read the book.

Psst: if you live with your kids, you know if they’re reading the book or not. If you want to find out what they are getting out of the story, try this…

Go out for a frappucino or some ice cream.

Ask normal questions you’d ask any friend in a book club:

• Did you freak out when X happened?
• Were you as mad as I was that X character did Y to that other character?
• I loved the ending but I wondered what happened to Z. What do you think happened them?
• This book reminds me of… What does it remind you of?
• I wish there were a movie version. I’d cast [insert amazing actress] for the main character and [insert talented male actor] as the love interest. You?

When you talk with an open heart, curious about your child’s REAL reaction to the story, you’ll see comprehension bloom!

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!