A Brave Writer’s Life in Brief

Your child can’t read—and she’s 9.

Your child won’t handwrite, and when he does, it’s illegible.

You forgot to teach state history that year your oldest was in 4th grade because of the newborn.

You finally got the diagnosis: ADHD. She’s 16. What about college?

My friend (and Homeschool Alliance coach) Stephanie Elms loves to share a favorite saying of one of her friends: “There are no educational emergencies.” The first time I heard it, the phrase went off like an alarm in my heart. What if that were true?

I reflected. It can’t help but be true!

I thought about literacy programs for adults. I thought about voice-to-text software. I thought about the voracious way some adults read about history for pleasure! I remembered that I had grown up friends who didn’t get medical support for their ADHD until their 40s. Others who skipped college or went in their 30s.

What if I could dial back my anxiety from 911 level panic to “there are countless ways to get my child what he or she needs”? Education at a predictable pace is an illusion, is what I’m saying. “Getting behind”—a sure fire way to wind up in panic, to stop seeing the real child in front of you.

I can only begin each day precisely where I am. No matter the age.

Yeah, but what if your child REALLY IS BEHIND, you ask?

Deep breath. Face today with the resolve to get your child all he or she needs to move the next tiny step in the direction of growth. Growth is tangible—and reassuring. Evaluation against the norms? Not so much.

Don’t give up or collapse in defeat. Gather your resources, make judgment calls, get support, more information.

Take it a day or week at a time. Triangle in help. Trust the process.

Remember: you are raising LIFE-LONG learners. Some learning takes longer than expected. There’s no expiration date on an education, either.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

Doubt: often our reaction is to double-down in defensiveness. Or to rearrange everything, afraid.

Doubt is this buzzing mosquito we want to swat away or squash.

In my reading time last week, I stumbled on the idea that when we doubt the most, it’s a signal that we don’t have enough information. We could go back to research, to listen to new information, to ask questions. All of it got me thinking.

Perhaps the opposite of doubting isn’t confidence. Perhaps the opposite is listening:

• to a child,
• to a new idea,
• to a changed perspective,
• to the nuances that add complexity,
• to the struggle others are having.

In my life, doubt has been a uniting force—bringing me into contact with people whose ideas I had previously rejected or scorned. Doubt lets me imagine solutions outside my safe options or community.

What are you doubting today? Your child’s commitment to hard work? A method of home education? Your beliefs about parenting? The support of a friend?

What would listening more completely look like? Where can you tune in to learn more?

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

Last week over on Instagram, I was asked what appeared to be an innocent question:

“Would you ever discuss homeschool co-ops and their requirements for membership?”

I launched that discussion with a series of six posts. Hundreds of lengthy, personal comments followed. Blew me away.

Apparently there’s a lot of emotional charge around this topic. It felt good to see people heal their own pain and reach out to help each other get a new vision of what a co-op could be!

You should be able to read the posts if you’re not yet on Instagram, but you’ll need to create an account to comment. Otherwise, click the links below to the web pages for the posts (you might need to scroll up to see them).

The conversation was rich, cathartic, insightful, and ultimately creative and helpful! If you are trying to navigate the land of homeschool co-oping, I also offer you three ideas to try to help you be successful.

Homeschool Co-ops

• The Origins of the Homeschooling Movement: Part One
• The Origins of the Homeschooling Movement: Part Two
• Problems with the Co-Op Model
• Idea #1: Kind Exclusivity
• Idea #2: Broad Inclusivity
• Idea #3: Keep It Small

Wishing you success, camaraderie, and joy in your homeschool co-ops this year!

Plan a “Take Your Struggling Child to Lunch” day. You may have to schedule it for the weekend when the non-homeschooling parent can run herd on the other little rascals.

In any case: identify the child that worries you.

Examples of worry:

• isn’t reading yet but “should” be
• likes Minecraft “too” much
• takes a “really long time” to finish (a math page, breakfast, tie shoes, brushing teeth, handwriting one sentence…)
• seems sad
• has “no” obvious passion
• “hates” (fill in the blank—math, writing, history, a brother or sister, sports, life)

The idea is this: what you see as struggle may be your misunderstanding—you may have the “struggle” right but have missed the interpretation.

Take your child to lunch without agenda. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “What do you love about Minecraft?”
• “What’s hard about ____?”

Sprinkle in broad happy questions:

• “If you could design tomorrow, what would we all be doing?”
• “What’s one thing I could eliminate from your life right now to make it easier, better, more peaceful, happier?”

You’ll think of others. This lunch is not a “fixer-upper” with loads of suggestions. It’s a moment of connection where your child knows you admire and trust your child.

Keep going til you spark that admiration in yourself (that’s when lunch is finished).

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!