December 2014 - Page 4 of 5 - A Brave Writer's Life in Brief A Brave Writer's Life in Brief
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A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

Thoughts from my home to yours

Archive for December, 2014

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Boredom is Not the Enemy

Brave Writer

The most common advice given to parents when faced with a bored child is to load up that kid with chores. The thinking goes that the child will never utter the words again to avoid mopping, vacuuming, and laundering.

Other advice:

  • Leave the child in it and eventually he or she will come out of it.
  • Remind kids that life isn’t always interesting; that we all have to do things we don’t like.

Less punitive advice:

  • Send bored children outdoors.
  • Post a list of possible activities and hand it to the child.
  • Remind the child of all the toys and supplies at hand.

For me, these responses to the “I’m bored” cry feel inadequate. I know when I express a feeling, I want someone to “get it” at minimum. I want my feeling recognized as legitimate or valid—at least, understandable given my circumstances. Offering me solutions or punishments for being bored, frustrated, lonely, tired, cranky, or sad feels dismissive.

On the other hand, being confronted by a bored gaggle of kids when they have a house overflowing with toys, books, play equipment, video games, movies, and siblings can be utterly exasperating!

4 Ways to Deal with Boredom

(feel free to use, edit, disregard as suits you and your family)

1. Agree with equal amount of emotion in your voice. Like this:

“Mom, I’m bored.”

  • “You’re BORED!? Oh man I HATE that feeling.”
  • “I remember feeling bored when I was a kid. Drove me NUTS!”
  • “Boredom is SOOOO BORING! Ugh. Yuck. I get it.”
  • “Don’t you hate how you can be bored even though you have cool toys and games to play? I get that way sometimes.”

Let that stand. You don’t have to solve it. Sometimes just getting it is enough.

2. Resist the temptation to solve the boredom with practical activities. Instead, offer support in “handling” it, like this:

“How have you solved being bored before? Can you remember? What usually works for you?”

“Sometimes when I’m bored I have to sit for a little bit to think about how I might get to the other side. Want to pull up a chair while I’m in the kitchen and sit here with me while you think about it?”

“I remember the last time you were bored, you took the dog for a walk and you came back with a new idea of what to do. Do you think that would work this time? Or do you have another idea for what to do when you are bored?”

Or ask the question: “Do you mind being bored? Sometimes I like doing nothing—as a change of pace, just sitting around doing absolutely nothing at all. Do you ever like that?”

3. Invite the bored child (the one who is really struggling to find anything to do) to hang out with you until the child has a new idea of what to do.

“I hate being bored. I wish I had time to play a game with you. I’m washing dishes and I would love it if you would create a musical playlist for me to listen to while I do them. Would you mind doing that until you figure out what you want to do instead?”

“I was about to fold laundry. I know that probably doesn’t sound like fun, but until you know what you want to do, I’d love you to come talk to me to keep me company while I fold clothes. Would you mind doing that?”

“I’m on the computer right now. Come here! Look at these photos (story, pinterest images, facebook feed). Sometimes when I’m bored I just scroll through these news feeds endlessly. Not very productive, eh? Want to show me something online that I haven’t seen today?”

The goal here is to recognize that boredom is a condition of experience, but it doesn’t have to be overcome. Companionship is often one way to “heal” it for the moment allowing new ideas to come forward.

4. Suggest (after you may have tried the three ideas above) a project that is messy, that the child has wanted to do but you have put off, that is involving.

The key to overcoming boredom is “surprise.” Boredom is about relentless predictability. All of us get tired of that. Our toys bore us because they are familiar. Our books bore us because the newness has worn off. Our siblings bore us because they are always there. Our parents bore us because they are such adults all the time.

To rise above boredom means upsetting the stability and predictability of routine and familiarity. If your child is truly at the chronically bored place, it’s time to involve new experiences and those usually require time, companionship, and big messes.

  • Painting
  • Brand new board games
  • Hammers and nails
  • Taking apart old radios, bicycles, furniture, computers
  • Modeling clay
  • Baking
  • Sewing
  • Video games
  • A six part movie series
  • Having friends over
  • Planning a party

In other words—boredom may mean that life has become a bit dull, a bit of a drudgery, a bit repetitive.

Even in the academics, this happens. If you have been using the same set of workbooks for the entire fall, it may be time to put them away for a week and do all hands-on activities for math, language arts, and science. Just change the tone and energy of the home.

Alternatively, use them in a new setting: at the local Starbucks, go to the library, hang out at a park, “do school” at a homeschool friend’s house where you all study together for a day.

Boredom is real. It’s not the enemy. It doesn’t mean your child is misbehaving or willful. Boredom is not a sign of lack of gratitude or ingenuity. Boredom simply is—it’s another feeling that human beings have that deserves respect, support, and love. Like all of our feelings.


Flip the Energy in Your Homeschool: 3 Tips


Brave Learner Home

Posted in Homeschool Advice | 5 Comments »

Poetry Teatime: A new element

Poetry Teatime

This year we added a new element to our plans: Brave Writer! I totally wish Julie would adopt me, and show me her homeschool ways. Fortunately, because she has a writing program, she is a fabulous writer that often shares her wisdom on her blog and via Facebook [and The Homeschool Alliance!].

One of the elements of the Brave Writer Lifestyle is Tuesday Teatime. We didn’t get out our finest china this time, but I may have to dig it out. I already know my boys love being read to. I didn’t know how they would like reading poetry to each other. They both actually had a lot of fun!

Poetry Teatime

I collected some of the poetry books Julie had recommended. The boys really enjoyed these. I hope to collect a few more along the way.

I made Lemon Cream Scones as our snack because what proper tea wouldn’t have a proper scone? These are very simple, but every time I make them someone asks for the recipe. They’re not dense like typical scones, but rather more biscuit-like [see Tara’s recipe!].

Poetry Teatime

My boys love chai lattes. I heated 2 bags of chai in water on the stove, and then added some sugar and soy milk. Yum!

~Tara

Read more at Tara’s blog, Monarch Room.

Images shared with permission.

Poetry Teatime

Posted in Poetry Teatime | 4 Comments »

Copywork Transformed!

Copywork Transformed

Hi Julie!

I have to tell you that we are one week post-copywork/dictation seminar and our copywork experience has been completely transformed! We had a pretty dry/boring routine previously, whereby I would assign passages from their readings, and they would copy them onto loose leaf pages that I would insert in their “Language” binder. It was pretty uninspired, and a bit of a chore. After your webinar I told them we would do things differently and they would have much more ownership over the exercise.


New to copywork? Learn more here.


Skip to now: the kids are ready with their own personal, sparkly notebooks and fancy pencils, jotting down whole pages from the books they are reading. For when they lack their own inspiration, an old jar has been dug up, dusted off and filled with quotes from our favourite books – Harry Potter, Pippi Longstocking, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Phantom Tollbooth! Last night after my kids had gone to bed, I saw my youngest daughter doing copywork by the glow of the hall light, propped up on her elbows in bed. Of course, I let her turn her light back on.

Such a difference! Thank you for the tips and inspiration to make this a much more pleasant and meaningful experience!

Copywork

Just to add – my only rule is for them to write their passages down with the correct grammar, punctuation, etc from the original passage. Despite their best efforts, sometimes mistakes are made, and handwriting is not always perfect. I am overlooking this right now to keep their enthusiasm up. There will be time for that as we go along, I figure. I know that they are already learning from it, since my 8 year old keeps telling me, looking up from her page, that, “Mom, I think I know how to spell ‘business’ now…”. Or, “forgotten” or “Hermione.” What a gift to see such results so quickly!

The marvel isn’t really mine – that’s the best part. I actually just handed it over to them, and told them to utilize the materials that were meaningful to them – and look what happened! Relinquishing the control and trusting the process was obviously the key, and the transformation unfolded organically from there.

~Jennifer

P.S. I am starting my own copywork journal today! I am excited to start!


Brave Writer Arrow and Boomerang Programs

Posted in Dictation and copywork, Email, Webinars | 2 Comments »

Friday Freewrite: Proud

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-little-preschooler-girl-displaying-her-picture-preschholer-proudly-image32935740

List all the ways you are proud of yourself this week.

New to freewriting? Check out our online guide.

Image © MNStudio | Dreamstime.com

Posted in Friday Freewrite | Comments Off on Friday Freewrite: Proud

“Fine tuning my philosophy of homeschooling”

I_can_I_ought

“The Homeschool Alliance and Julie have been a great resource for fine tuning my philosophy of homeschooling and parenting. Often I’ve found myself lost in the logistics of schedules, lesson planning, and curricula purchases that I have almost lost the original intent. These past two and half months I’ve been able to really focus on the essentials of learning as a family, and finding a more organic rhythm that has nothing to do with a curricula publisher’s arbitrary schedule.

“What Bravewriter has done to give freedom to language arts, the Homeschool Alliance has for all of family life. I love that it is not set up in a forum format. I can just simply read and reflect, or interact with other members as much as I like. After spending time on the site, I feel as though I’ve accomplished a task rather than simply lost track of time.”

~Rebekah

Posted in Homeschool Advice | Comments Off on “Fine tuning my philosophy of homeschooling”

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