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A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

Thoughts from my home to yours

Archive for the ‘Students’ Category

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Revision: Creating a New Lens

Revision: Creating a new lens

When we use “wacky revision” tactics, we sometimes stumble upon a truth that was hidden from view in the usual order of things. One of the pieces below, written by Sofia, is a great example! Her original freewrite was about how to perform on stage. We’ve all read articles and paragraphs that teach us a set of principles to put into practice. Even when they are clear and well articulated, we may still glaze over due to information overload.

In this case, Sofia applied the wacky revision tactic of turning everything around into a lie. Unwittingly, she stumbled upon irony and humor! By framing the notion of how to perform on stage through the lens of lies, she set up a paragraph that mocks performance! Because of that mockery, the reader is thrust into complexity—turning the writing around to a positive in the imagination. Humor holds our attention, and the principles become apparent through negation. We see this online all the time. Some of the best articles about politics, for instance, make fun of politics. We remember them for their denying power and the humor they evoke.

Wacky revision tactics are not just about play. They are about generating insight, too. Stay alert for those brilliant moments that pop through the writing when it is conceived through a new lens.

-Julie

Revision

Hi Julie!

Here is the writing from the writing workshop. The first piece is from my son, Judah (age 9). He had followed the freewrite prompt you suggested encouraging them to tell about an ordinary event, and he chose his morning routine:

I wake up in the morning and at 7:00 I get out of bed and go to my living room. I say hello to my dad and he makes breakfast and I eat it all up. After I do that I go and get dressed. Then I go and comb my hair and brush my teeth. After I do that I play Legos until mom says it’s time for school.

Here it is after the Scramble [revision technique]:

I wake up in the morning and at 7:00 I get out of bed and go to my living room to brush my teeth. After I do that I play Legos until mom says it’s time for me to go to my room. I say hello to my dad and he makes breakfast and I eat it all up. Time for school. After I do that I go and get dressed. Then I go and comb my hair.

He added words and punctuation here and there, like you suggested, to make the transition from line to line sound intentional. And now that I am thinking about it, he found that process really amusing. ?

The next piece is by my daughter, Sofia (age 7). It is a previous freewrite she wrote after she was in a play. I had asked her what advice she would give to a new actor and this was her response:

If you are new to the stage, you need to do your best. Smile big. You might not get the part you want, so be ready to do whatever the director tells you to do. Use your imagination. Acting on stage is tiring so get good rest before your show. You might fall down or go on the wrong side of the stage or forget a line, but just go on and keep acting no matter what. Skip to the next line that you know. Even if you don’t get the part you wanted, acting is really fun. I didn’t get the part I wanted and it was really fun for me!

She was really amused by your revision technique about “lying,” so we went over the piece doing just that:

If you are new to the stage, don’t give it your all. Do not smile, but just relax your face. You are going to get the part you want anyway. Don’t listen to the director, but do whatever you want. Do not use your imagination, but instead act mad. Acting on stage is no big deal, so you don’t need to get good rest before your show. Nothing will ever go wrong, but if it does, start crying and quit the play. Even when you get the part you want, acting is not fun! I got the part I wanted and it was boring!

We had a fun conversation about why someone might give this bad advice to a new actor and decided that it might be given to an actor who is auditioning for the same role as the advice-giver! That could be an interesting story to write in the future, and one she would not have thought of otherwise, so we were able to see the benefit of that revision tactic.

Lastly, I really like the concept that revision is “re-vision”….seeing again the piece of writing and giving it a new spin. I hadn’t thought much about editing being separate from revision, so I appreciated the clarification.

Thank you again for the writing workshop!!

Gratefully,
Carla

Tags: Revision techniques
Posted in Email, Language Arts, Students | Comments Off on Revision: Creating a New Lens

The real gifts of the season

The real gifts of the season

Brave Writer mom Jessica writes:

Thinking about the Season ahead. The chaos. The busyness. The My Christmas List attitude. Trying hard to think of ways to fill the Season with the attitude of gratitude, love, and giving. Our Book A Day Christmas Countdown is a great start – connecting through play with our little ones – sharing our presence above presents.

As I was thinking about ways to incorporate more kindness and mindfulness into our countdown – ways to teach friendship and love and mindfulness – during a trip through our local grocery store, my 7 year old told me she wants to give food to people in our neighborhood who may need some this holiday.

When we got home we logged onto Philabundance to find out what KINDS of food are really needed right now. She wrote down the list. Then she decided she wanted to ask our friends, neighbors, Daddy’s coworkers, and community to help collect food donations.

The real gifts of the season

My little Brave Writer wrote a letter to our friends asking for help. We sent some to work with Daddy. We are going to put one in each preschool cubby.

I am so inspired by her willingness to take on a project and get the ball rolling on this and … I am blown away by the care and compassion she expressed today.

As we head into the month of December I am so grateful to pause and breathe this in. Fully. And truly. So grateful for these moments of presence … As she shares the real gifts of the Season.

Love and gratitude,
Jessica

For those in the Philadelphia, PA area who would like to contribute, there’s a collection box at Columbus Square Park:

Passyunk Square Park
1200 Wharton St
Philadelphia, PA 19147

But any donations either tangible, physical goods, or monetary donations directly to Philabundance would be greatly appreciated. They offer two meals to someone in need for every $1.00 donated.

Posted in Email, Students | Comments Off on The real gifts of the season

Feeling victory

Feeling victory!

From Brave Writer mom Ali:

I stayed myself as I prepared for battle, the writing battle! I had a plan to break the news of the latest project gently. Taking slow steps, small bits being spoon-fed each day. We wrote similes together, taking turns being the one who gave the starter (the potato chip is) and the one to give the comparison (as crunchy as leaves on a cold, fall hike).

We described the dog together and my daughter’s interactions with him. Then I decided to let her go and I realized that it was only Monday. The first day of our work. No need to hand-hold and spoon-feed, she was off at a full pace. And what she created? Who’s writing is this? I know that this is an original work but, how did you get these ideas? There was only one spelling mistake. There were two similes that were weak, a stretch, but they still fit the “rules.” Where are the editing notes that I need to make. There are none. NONE. We rejoiced and savored the words of her poem. Not wanting to lose our momentum and enthusiasm, we started again with listing similes.

Now it’s Wednesday, we’ve completed the writing assignment for the week and we are both still feeling victory. So much victory in fact, she is writing her second simile poem.

Thank you! Not all of the projects we do are this enjoyable. This one must have spoken to her poetic heart. Maybe it was always there or maybe it was grown and nurtured from our years of poetry tea. Who knows, but it’s there.

-ali

P.S. Poem #1 is here for you. The dog’s name is Do-Good so that is the name/word you are reading. She wants to revamp it and “publish” it on Friday. “Mom, can I use nice paper and cursive and pen?” Um….YES!

Dogood

When I go outside and call, Dogood comes.

I tell him to sit, and when he has sat, his green mirror-like eyes look at me, waiting.

Waiting for me to stroke his drooping leaf-like ears, making him happy by stroking his U-shaped snout,

and stroking his smooth, hair-like fur.

He lifts his padded bump-like foot, waiting for me to shake hands with him.

He is a nice, calm black dog.

Playing with Poetry Workshop

Posted in Email, Poetry, Students | Comments Off on Feeling victory

“She flew with it”

Wacky Revision Tactics

Brave Writer mom, Jane, writes:

This is my daughter, Megan’s, writing. She is 14. She wasn’t super enthusiastic, but once she employed the revision technique that you recommended of lying, she grabbed it and flew with it…literally.

Here it is.

Ordinary part of my day

So an ordinary thing I do everyday is doodle, or draw something. I try and draw something everyday because I can get very un-motivated. Sometimes I will not draw for weeks because of lack of motivation. So just doing a small doodle helps me keep motivated, even when I don’t really feel like drawing that day. Sometimes, I just have one drawing that I will keep adding to until I feel like it’s completed.

Megan employed the revision technique of lying. =)

Wacky part of my day

So a wacky thing I do like, every billion years is ride dinosaurs, or become one. I try and ride a dinosaur every billion years or so because I can get very motivated to do so. Sometimes I will become a dinosaur for like, a hundred years, but as soon as the ice-age comes, I turn back to a human (if I’m a dinosaur). If not, I’ll get off the dinosaur I’m riding and jump into my spaceship, that magically appears exactly when I need it, and fly into the galaxy searching for more dinosaur inhabited planets. If I can’t find a planet inhabited by dinosaurs, I’ll go look for the next best thing, which is a dragon inhabited planet.

That is just a blast!! What a creative rewrite! I am enchanted!! -Julie

Tags: revision tactics, writing workshop
Posted in Students | Comments Off on “She flew with it”

“Seeing a spark”

Silly Poem by Erik, Brave Writer student

Dear Julie

My boys were making up silly poems last night when I was putting them to bed so I told them they should write down all their ideas. So today, among many short poems, my son Erik wrote this and then rolled on the floor laughing:

my speling is grate!
‘ain’t gott a misteak!
‘do’nt kare wut u sai,
‘cause me spelin ees great!

I thought you might enjoy that. As silly as that is I do really love seeing a spark in my boys that I haven’t seen in a while. I’m in high demand as an editor now as one boy writes historical fiction set during the French and Indian War and the other writes about a horse that wants to learn to fly from a wise eagle named Dr. Smart.

Your ideas are revolutionizing our homeschool. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Christa

What a high level of linguistic skill is apparent in this adorable poem! He’s nailing it! This is what leads to powerful writing as he gets older—such facility! Love it! –julie

Brave Writer Poetry Guide

Posted in Poetry, Students | Comments Off on “Seeing a spark”

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