Archive for the ‘Homeschool Advice’ Category
Stay Fit
I thought I’d pass along a little “doctor wisdom” that I’ve been pondering. A surgeon told me that many people think about diet and exercise as preventative measures—to protect against disease, for instance. But health matters just as much (if not more) for when you are injured or attacked by disease out of the blue! Having a body that is in good shape ensures a better surgery and an easier, healthier recovery. In short, we should protect our health so that we can recover, not just so that we can avoid illness/injury.
I got to thinking about this as a principle for living. Too often we are given measures for how to recover from burn-out or are told how to repair broken relationships. In homeschool, we might find ourselves looking for strategies to cope with overwhelm or special needs. If we face these challenges from a personal deficit (tired, hungry, lonely, depressed, alienated from our primary life partner), we are much less able to cope.
However, if we spend time each day remembering that we matter (our personal well-being, our confidence, our natural optimism that is there for us when there is margin and light in our lives), and we take measures to ensure we are emotionally fit, when we are faced with temper tantrums or an unanticipated demand, when the day goes south or a child is sick, we are more prepared to meet that challenge from a place of peace and trust.
I know for me that if I am exhausted and sad, a child’s whining or the argument happening between siblings sometimes draws my worst self—I might snap or yell or insist. When I am “topped up” emotionally and have some reserves, when I really know that how my kids behave is not a reflection on my value as a person, I can respond from a place of power (being firm and kind).
So today, I thought I’d pass that little bit of advice onto you. Stay fit—emotionally, mentally, spiritually (whatever that means to you), and physically. If you can manage these, when life throws its curve balls at you, you’ll have the stamina to face the challenges and the ability to recover from the blows.
Returning to the Brave Writer Philosophy for High School
Brave Writer mom, Dona, writes (emphasis is ours):
Dear Julie,
We started homeschooling in January of 2002. I remember feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders as I began the journey of educating our children at home. In some areas I felt competent; in others completely incompetent. Writing was one of those terribly incompetent areas. We tried many different curricula, as well as me just making up writing assignments (oh, my, that was disastrous!). With each attempt I felt like I was alienating my child from the world of writing. I wasn’t much of a writer in school at any level; my undergrad and grad degrees are in a scientific field and my writing was rather bland. I wanted my children to learn how to write and write well. None was working.
Finally when Kimberly, our oldest, was 10 years old, I found you. We signed up for the [Writer’s Jungle Online] and my eyes were opened to writing like never before. I watched my daughter flourish and begin to like to write. The feedback that you and your teachers give these children is so valuable in drawing out the writer in each of them. You teach them the power of words and language through real literature, their own experiences and by teaching them to observe the world they live in. You are rigorous and hold these kids to high standards, but in such a supportive environment that the kids succeed.
One of the greatest aspects of your classroom is the fact that each student can read the work of all the other students and see the teacher’s feedback. My children have learned about what works and what doesn’t work by reading so many other pieces of writing with feedback. I remember always wanting to see my peer’s work to understand where I fell in the spectrum and to see if I could learn more from others. It was often very difficult to get this kind of information unless my close friends were willing to share. Brave Writer is so much more than a language arts program; it is a philosophy that can be applied across the board…
The high school thing scares me, I’ll admit! Why? I don’t know for sure… I was in a foreign country in a foreign school during my HS years, don’t have a HS diploma, but managed just fine in college and grad school. I’m looking for a much more relaxed atmosphere here in our home. This year, everybody has been glued to the computer all day, tied to strict deadlines in everything. Kimberly thrives on this environment. I’m comfortable with her finishing here next year; she had 2 years of HS at home with a different atmosphere.
Nicole on the other hand, has lost any zeal for learning and is just checking off boxes. Part of online school she likes… interacting with the other kids. But the schedule is killing her. Her passion is her goats. We are just barely into building a real show herd. She has learned so much about the goats and is the best midwife ever! She knows how to go in and find legs that are coming out and arrange them to come out and pull. For her, studying out of a book doesn’t cut it. She needs hands on, an apprenticeship would be so good for her. Why don’t we have apprenticeships for HS aged kids? Why do we have to sit in a classroom or at the kitchen table to learn everything? I am not sure how to fashion a learning environment for her that could lead her to where she wants to be; possibly an American Dairy Goat Association judge, maybe an animal science degree, maybe vet tech or vet school. She isn’t motivated enough yet to do all the tedious study required to be accepted at vet school. I want to restore her love her learning. At the same time I’m afraid I won’t prepare her for college if that’s where she intends to go. I personally don’t think college is the end all be all and it may not be for her. Her father thinks otherwise, though. Mind you, he is very supportive of homeschooling, but believes all paths must lead to college.
I’ve been reading your posts and been feeling nudged to make changes; return to the Brave Writer philosophy I love so much. I’m trying to think out of the box, but that is hard for me! It would sure be nice to toss ideas around with you and those who really know how to do it. I want to bring back Tuesday Teatime more reading together and still be able to prepare my kids for college if that’s where they are headed. I’m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around how to accomplish this. Is the ACT really the only factor for most schools if you don’t have a HS diploma? We can teach to the test, study for it and probably do well on it. Kimberly has done very well on the ACT. Do we have to have a transcript?
Sallie just finished [an Essay Prep class] with you. She absolutely loved the class! She is sold on Brave Writer. I need to figure out what my “out of the box” is so I can be prepared for her and the 2 boys who follow her! Sallie loves to write and I don’t want to intimidate her or squash that love at all. She loves reading your daily writing tips. I’d like her to take Expository Essay next fall or winter. Do you think she is ready for that? Would that be your recommendation for her next course?
Julie, thank you so much for all you do. I’ve told you before, but I’ll tell you again… you are a presence in our home in a way that no other homeschooling influence has ever been. I feel like you are our friend and I so appreciate you! Thanks for listening!
Sincerely,
Dona
Thank you so much for your wonderful kind words of feedback! They mean a lot.
[This post contains Amazon affiliate links. When you click on those links to make purchases,
Brave Writer receives compensation at no extra cost to you. Thank you!]
A few things occurred to me:
1) The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewelyn is fabulous for helping you think about things like apprenticeships, preparing for college in a more unschooling natural learning format. So get that. Cafi Cohen’s What About College? is also excellent.
2) Colleges LOVE unique experiences. They see transcript after transcript of AP courses and GPAs. They are far more impressed by stuff a child pursues independently. Noah put Klingon on his transcript for college and they counted it! He spent years immersed in constructed languages and supplied his reading list. They waived his second year of foreign language and second year of science due to that (he attends University of Cincinnati). Remember: becoming a cool person is far more interesting to colleges than ticking off the boxes. You have to do a certain amount of that, but it’s not the only thing.
3) The Expository Essay class would be great for Sallie. She can take it now or in the fall. Either.
4) College is important but it’s also expensive. I made the mistake of paying for Noah when he wasn’t ready. He quit for 3 years then went back and paid for it himself. Liam was undecided about college so went to Europe for a month just to get out of the tedium of work and life here. He needed to have a new experience. I didn’t pay for college until he knew he was ready.
That is an okay way to live. There’s no rule here that says they have to be ready at 18. Your daughter could be looking at places to work with goats. Why not? Is there a way to become a goat midwife? Or could she be a goat midwife blogger who photographs and records difficult births, regular births etc.?
My daughter Caitrin kept a fashion blog for an entire year (13-14). She shopped at thrift stores and wore a completely new outfit every day. We took photographs each day and she wrote a description of the pieces, where they came from, and witty remarks. She subscribed to Vogue, Elle, W and other fashion magazines all year.
It’s good to fulfill basic high school requirements and to be “prepared” for the option of college, but you don’t want to shortchange the chance to do amazing things! This is the time for it.
My oldest two kids were in a Shakespeare Acting company in high school, btw, as one of their “big things.”
I hope that helps a little. You’ve been a wonderful family to work with over the years!
Julie
Well-Trained Mind Online Conference!
I will be speaking in July at the Well-Trained Mind Online Conference! From the website:
Enjoy the inspiration and education of a home school conference for a fraction of the price, in the comfort of your own home! Skip the airports, the conference hall food, and the expensive hotels–and join us for a summer of educational conferencing online. Each mini-seminar consists of three workshops on a single theme, presented over the course of three weeks. Each workshop is 90 minutes long—a 50-60 minute presentation followed by 30-40 minutes of live Q&A. Get an entire mini-seminar–three workshops presented by your favorite speaker–and the chance to interact personally with the presenter.
It’s $20.00 for a series of three 90 minute sessions. That means that the webinars come to $6.67 each. I am doing 2 series of 3 sessions each (6 total):
Your Fantasy Homeschool
Everyone Can Teach Their Child to Write
If you wonder about the content, here’s a clip from my retreat last summer that may help you get a sense of me and what I teach.
The sessions will focus on both practical tactics for enhancing your writing program and homeschool, as well as the kind of emotional excavation that will enable you to see past blind spots and help you be the kind of parent and homeschooler you aspire to be.
Hope you’ll sign up and join me!
No Defense Needed
Try not to defend your life to others. It’s tempting to explain your choices, to provide evidence that you did the best you could, or that your convictions are pure and your motives are selfless.
We’re all a bundle of needs, making decisions that are both selfless and self-interested. The only criteria that matters in evaluating how you spent today is the one you’ve chosen to live by––today.
That criteria shifts and changes. Some years you have more energy for self-sacrifice and understanding, and others, you find you need someone to give you a break, to make up for what you don’t have, to be the strength you lack. Some years you find resources and help, and others, it seems no one “gets” what you’re going through and it’s entirely up to you to figure out the way forward.
Some years you’re blindsided by facts you never imagined would be the substance of your life, of your family.
We have our ideals (they matter) and we have our limits (they matter too). One person (you, me) can change the entire dynamic in a home by making better, more emotionally supportive, empathetic choices; but it’s also true that one person can wreck the peace, by not cooperating, asserting a will that is unresponsive to the best care and kindness you can give.
A family is an interdependent system—no one person can carry it alone. There must be give and take, support and nurture for each person, even if in uneven doses at times.
A family is an interdependent system—
no one person can carry it alone.
All you can do is become the healthiest version of you that you can be—taking care of your welfare so that you don’t wake up one day and “flip out.”
You’ll be given good advice: Be generous. Give. Share. Listen. Pay attention. Make adjustments. Become a partner to your kids, to your spouse. Forgive. Find the good, the true, the pure. Let go of petty resentments and high expectations.
But you also need to take care of yourself. Be sure that you, the caregiver, receives care too—by someone, somehow, somewhere. It’s how you keep going. You deserve to have someone tell you that you’re doing a great job, or that your emotional breakdown is justified, or that your worries are legitimate.
When you hit your limits, you’ll get advice to give more. You’ll be told what the ideals are. You’ll be reminded of your original goals. You’ll try harder. We women are especially likely to take this advice to heart.
Remember: in the trying (which is right and noble and good), stand up for yourself too. You matter as much to the whole system, as all the people you love and serve freely every day.
Be good to yourself, no matter what that looks like. You get one life, too. It needs to be a good, peace-filled, lovely one. No Joan of Abeccas here. No Teresa of Calculadders allowed.
Stay connected to your well-being while you give to the ones you love. That’s it. That’s what it looks like to do it right.
