A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

“Live honestly, write bravely.”

Will we? Can we?

I listened to an interview with author Zadie Smith on Literary Friction. She isn’t on social media. Why? Because as the Internet has evolved in the last 30 years, she asserts that what we share and post is held accountable for purity, for clarity, for identification with a perspective. The complexity of our selves is hidden. We’ve all become mini-brands, rather than the complicated, filled-with-contradictions people we are.

It struck a chord with me. If I have to maintain a certain belief and never reveal doubts in public, I become alienated from my own thoughts. I drive my uncertainties and qualms underground to uphold an image.

Peter Elbow, my writing guru, recommends private writing as the antidote—a place to put your truest thoughts, to get to know your own mind again. We can give this gift to our children too. We can take time to write together. We can protect that writing from readers: no one reads it except the writer. Children and parents write at the same time, that writing goes in a private folder only for the child’s eyes (not yours either).

• No curating.
• No pretending.
• No fulfilling someone else’s image of you, including parents.

In a day and time when ALL writing is publicly curated for an audience, to live honestly and write bravely means getting to know your insides again without the demands of an audience.

Try it. You may like it.

I know I do.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one.

Can you imagine yourself on June 1—looking back on this school year? How do you want to feel? What would you like to be able to say about your year with your kids?

Take a moment to think of one or two items.

Write them down.

One might be aspirational—we’ll get through Ancient Greece and Rome in history, Sarah will learn to read, and we’ll complete 3 writing projects.

Another might be atmospheric—we’ll incorporate more coziness, we’ll have tea times and make muffins.

Another might be philosophical—I want to implement partnering with my kids’ learning, I want to adopt a natural learning approach.

Now ask yourself:

What can I do to move in that direction now, just for today?

Check in once a week to see what you have done to move toward that end goal, that vision, that feel.

There are no shortcuts, no simple 6 steps you take to have the homeschool of your dreams. Each day, you inch closer to or away from that vision that lives in your imagination.

There will be times of doubt that make you double back to someone else’s good idea (a school’s, your mother’s, your best friend’s). But it’s never too late to pivot again and reassert the vision YOU value.

You get there one day at a time, one child at a time, one interaction at a time. It’s good that it takes time because this is your life! No reason to hurry through it. There’s no “there” to get to! There’s only this, only now, only these wonderful people in your care.

Keep going!

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

The number one way you can have a great homeschool is to shift the responsibility for it being great from your kids’ performance to your preparation.

In other words, put more time into making sure that the lessons are relevant, interesting, and suited to the child’s skills. Put less energy into requirement, frustration, and worry that your child is getting behind.

No one gets behind if they are attended to. If the child is stuck or struggling or bored, that’s not the child’s fault. It’s the child’s reality.

You have two options.

1. You can require the child to perform anyway. You can punish a lack of compliance, you can yell or argue or show disapproval. You can nag and lecture and withhold screen time. You can push the child along to complete work so that you feel better, even if your child feels worse.

2. You can put your energy into understanding how to make this a meaningful lesson for the child. What else can you do to make the subject come to life, meet the current skill set, or show relevance to that child’s life today? You can accept the child as he or she is and work with that person, not the fantasy version of the child you wish you had.

Both 1 and 2 require energy. You get to decide which energy you’d rather expend.

Do you prefer to be the authority who gets compliance or the partner who creates meaning?

The reason we don’t try number 2 more often is because the models we have are reward/punishment based. But you’re at home. You get to toss those models onto the ash heap. Instead, experiment with kindness, collaboration, curiosity, and joy. Imagine that the subject could be appealing and pleasurable. Work to find the angle.

Joy IS the best teacher.

That’s where the bulk of your home education work occurs—finding the way in to a happier experience. That’s your job!

Lucky you: it’s a really gratifying one because when you find that sweet spot, the learning is legendary and you’ll want to Instagram it right away.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

If the program stays in your inbox, and you don’t download it to the computer, you have no hope of using it.

If the curriculum sits on the dining room table, spine un-cracked, it will not magically transmit the content to your learners.

If you feel confused or overwhelmed, that feeling won’t go away until you make a pot of coffee and sit with the program, reading it until you understand its aims and how to use it.

There’s no shame in:

• taking it one product at a time,
• reading the teacher’s notes or user’s guide,
• and getting familiar.

There’s no auto-fill program—you buy it, your kid gets educated from it.

Any successful experience with curriculum comes from your choice to learn it and use it.

You can do it!

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

Do you have a kid who hates writing? I’ve got the secret to unblocking that child. Ready?

This is a great time of year to catch your child in the act of narrating—expressing a thought, experience, or the content of a movie. When your child hits the white heat of language (you know it’s happening because he or she is animated and interrupting your phone call), jot down their words right then. Stop driving, stir frying dinner, or chatting with Melinda. Grab the back of an envelope or super market receipt & start writing, quick as a flash. Get the words down as best you can.

If your child asks what you’re doing, say:

“Keep going. This is so good, I want to get it down in your own words before I forget it. I want to share it with ________ (Dad, Mom, Grandma, sister, my best friend…).”

Then later in the same day (maybe at dinner when the family is gathered), say this:

“Today ________ told me the funniest story about Rocky and how he chases the squirrels in the backyard. I wanted to get it right so I wrote it down. Let me read it to you.”

Then read it. Enjoy it. Talk about the contents. Ask questions related to the story or the contents (don’t talk about writing). Toss that writing into the library basket and read it again.

Make this a practice you return to again and again (not every day or even every other day, but when it’s worth it to capture in writing something meaningful your child says). Eventually, your child will discover that what’s going on in his or her head IS what you want to see in writing.

Your children will realize that writing is an extension of themselves, not a foreign language or practice to be mastered.

If you keep it up, your kids will take over and do it for each other.

Kids write more easily when they know their thoughts deserve to be preserved in writing and read to an interested audience. Give them that experience. It works.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!