Archive for the ‘Email’ Category

Rastafarian Homeschooling

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I’ve been pouring over your blog and finding such calm (and erratic) wisdom and practicality there. Please share with us just what your homeschooling “style” is….CM? Eclectic with a hint of unschooling (referring to the extended Xbox musings..lol). What does your day look like? I’m curious just how you manage to meld old classical lit with pop culture music and Muppet Christmas. It all fascinates me and leaves me wanting to hear more. I’ve cast myself into a classical model the past few years and now I’m starting to realize that all wisdom is not found in the dusty novels of old. I’d love to hear more about how you make it work with such a busy lifestyle, lots of active kids and a professional career to boot! Julie, you are an inspiration!

–Janine

You know, I started a lengthy response to this question last week in my drafts folder. It got long-winded and circular. I traced the history and development of the Bogart family educational system, taking into account various and sundry influences while duly acknowledging departures and arrivals of specific philosophies. Yes, it was as boring as you’re imagining.

I went to bed one of the nights and had the oddest dream. I was sitting on a park bench watching my daughter play soccer. A mother approached me and asked: “What kind of homeschooler are you?” and I replied (I’m not making this up): “Rastafarian. Our philosophy is: Don’t worry; be happy.”

I woke up. Laughing!

But it was so true, so much truer than the hundreds of words I’d already written. The bottom line for us is that we find all of life worthy of exploration. We might go from listening to Beowulf read by Seamus Heaney to watching Disney channel sit coms in one morning. We take it all in, together.

The trick is to not worry, and to trust the process. Every new homeschooler is a worrier, though. Suddenly Aunt Gertrude is quizzing your child on his times tables over Thanksgiving turkey just because you homeschool. She leaves the public schooled cousins alone. You feel the hair on your neck prickle because you know that in everyone’s mind, you’re responsible for how they’re turning out.

So of course you worry.

Yet there is nothing that sucks the life out of children faster than a mother who worries. When we worry, we stop living in the moment. We think about how poorly the child spells when the writing is actually interesting or engaging. We wonder when our kids will ever want to watch Discovery channel instead of playing the X Box. We discount a child’s fascination with mold growing on the bread in the back of the refrigerator because it reminds us that we haven’t cleaned it out in ten weeks.

But what if we could squeeze mud into our hair and wear dreadlocks and live on a Caribbean beach? What if we could follow our kids around for a week or two, playing their games, watching their silly TV shows, going to their favorite places (the zoo, the YMCA, the IMax theater), reading the books they want to read, listening to music or books on tape over lunch?

Life would become worth living, worth paying attention to. We wouldn’t be living for the future. We’d be living into it.

At some point, I realized that it was me who had received the real home education. Our kids knew nothing else. For them, they were just living. I’m the one who had to rethink what I believed about learning and it took a long time, as I homeschooled.

All of my research: my enthusiasm for Charlotte Mason, for classical education, for living history, for unschooling, for KONOS, for delight-directed learning…

All the writing and teaching I’d done where I’d seen kids transformed by discovering they had things to say, that their interests mattered, that they were expert at things I’d never even thought about…

All together, these experiences taught me a greater lesson than anything I’ve taught my kids. Life itself is so interesting, there is so much to know, that I’ll be dead before I ever get to all of it. So I’m determined to suck the juice out of every chance I get to learn, explore, flip over the seashell and see what’s inside.

Because of homeschooling, I’ve become an interested and interesting person. I trust the process now because I’ve been changed by it. What is that process? To let go of worry and to chase after those things, those beautiful, silly, challenging, inspiring, entertaining, and meaningful ideas and to allow them to have their way with us.

Joy really has been the best teacher around here. My kids share their joys with me and I share mine with them. I look at the long view now and then so I know where we’re going. But mostly, we do things together and we do a lot of different things.

Life is too short to worry about it. We’re trying to live it. Which seems to be how we homeschool.

Thanks for asking. 🙂

Shared on Hip Homeschool Moms!

Posted in Brave Writer Philosophy, Email, Homeschool Advice | 4 Comments »

Writers and Meltdowns: Better Coaching, Better Response

How to help young writers avoid meltdowns when it's time to revise their writing.

It’s possible to offer your young writer editorial feedback without triggering a meltdown!

From Hilary:

I was trying to coach my dd (10) on her first draft of an essay. We had talked about using her first draft (which she did on her own, without my prompting) as a base for a writing project, and she agreed.

As we went over it I commented on the good things I saw, the detail I liked, the flow of the essay, the excellent ending. Her topic was Helpful, Influential Genres (she agreed this was more accurate a title than Helpful, Influential Books). As I commented on the things that could be spruced up to be made more powerful, she really got defensive and closed up emotionally. I wanted her to choose a different word or a phrase for “helpful” in her essay, to fill out what that means.

Neither of my daughters likes to be corrected, even when I preface everything with things I liked and things that they did well. How do I help them understand that I want to help them grow as writers?  Is there a way to help them before they have a meltdown?

My response:

Meltdowns over editorial input are familiar to all writers. It takes time to let go of the ego investment long enough to recognize that someone’s input may actually help you write better than you realized you could.

As you rightly note, I like to start with what I like about a writer’s writing before I express ideas for improvement. So let me affirm you for doing what so many moms forget to do – that is, you found valuable ideas and detail, affirmed an excellent ending and applauded the flow of the piece. Thank you for being concrete and for making sure to do that.

Then you wanted to offer feedback for revision and this is where things got touchy. I have some principles and practices that may help.

First, kids need to know that they are the authors who have the final say over their writing. Just because you know that a change would enhance the piece doesn’t mean that it must be made. The writer must know that she is evaluating the input and making a judgment about it, not that she is victim to the changes a power figure requires her to make. See the difference? So offer the comment like this: “Hmmm. It seems to me that the word ‘helpful’ isn’t as clear as the rest of this title. What do you think?”

Or you might say, “Are you interested in hearing any feedback about the title? I have an idea that might make it pop to life, but want to be sure you are interested before I suggest it.”

By respecting her authority over her original writing, you give her the power which makes it easier for her to either hear you or to admit that she doesn’t want to hear you. In either case, you have a win-win. You develop trust. Eventually, when trust is built, she will want to hear you and perhaps over time, will even take your suggestions as welcome.

By respecting her authority over her original writing, you make it easier for her to hear you and to hear herself.

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Second, the positive feedback can’t be seen as “buttering up” before delivering the “real feedback” which will then be critical. Be specific (as you were) and leave some space between affirmation and constructive critique (like lunch or a couple of days). Let the positive have its impact before offering critique.

Third, remember that your feedback makes an impact even when she doesn’t take your advice. For instance, when you pointed out that the word “helpful” wasn’t that clear, she may choose not to make the change in this piece. However, you can bet that the next time she writes the word “helpful” she will remember that discussion about it and may at that time “self-edit” and choose a better word for the new paper.

Fourth, not every piece of writing needs to be improved. You can ask if this is one she wants to work on or if she is happy with it as is. If she appears to never want to revise a paper, you can suggest the following.

“Mary, let’s collect four of your papers and pick one to revise. You choose. Then I want you to share with me ways that you can improve it. If you need some ideas for how to revise, I can help. If you’re interested in my feedback about this particular piece, I’m here to help you too. Just let me know.”

This helps her to see that it’s important to revise and to learn to revise, but you leave her in control of when it happens, to which piece and how she will receive feedback.

Finally, don’t worry if it appears that she is resistant to feedback for a long time. It takes time to build trust between writer and editor. If she senses that you consistently are on her side, that you affirm what works well and that the feedback you offer is for her consideration, not as a command, she will come to trust you. If the feedback you give results in a wonderful change that makes the writing spring to life, she will then be likely to ask for your input the next time, rather than being suspicious of it.

Hope those help!

-Julie

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Posted in Brave Writer Philosophy, Email, Homeschool Advice, Tips for Teen Writers, Young Writers | 2 Comments »

Is my child challenged enough?

Is my child challenged enough?

Dear Julie,

I’ve been reading what other moms are doing and realize I may be expecting too much from my son. On the other hand I don’t want to be so relaxed that he isn’t challenged and learning what he’s capable of doing. Two years ago I visited my sister in Colorado. I visited the school they (her children) attend and as I walked down the third grade hall they had three paragraph papers placed on the walls from each class. This was 3rd grade and I remember thinking, “Wow! We have a long way to go!” Well, he’s in 3rd grade now and he is nowhere near writing a three paragraph paper. He has taken this year to write a three page story on two brothers though.

So, that’s my dilemma. Could you give me your thoughts on this Julie? I know you’re a busy woman and I so appreciate the fact that you take the time to respond to each individual person. That is not only amazing it is a selfless act of love! I would love to meet you in person.

Brave Mom

Thanks for asking this question and letting me post it! Let’s skip to the point:

Seeing papers posted on the wall is not the same as reading those papers. We don’t know whether they were good to read, or were actually three dull paragraphs of sentences drummed out of bored third graders. We don’t know how many kids didn’t get their papers on the wall because they couldn’t fulfill that assignment. We don’t know how many of the kids have been labeled learning disabled simply because they weren’t “at the same level” as the scope and sequence expected.

Schools and homes have different goals and methods. Schools must organize children to learn according to standards set by the district, state and nation. Homes tutor children according to principles of personal observation, tailor-made objectives and love.

In my opinion, writing a three paragraph paper in third grade is no better or worse than writing one in sixth grade or tenth grade. The issue needs to be about the individual writer, not about the product. So if your child is not capable of a three paragraph paper (at any age), it is impossible to teach it until he is. We must start with the writer in the developmental stage in which he finds himself.

The goal is a confident competent writer by adulthood. You have about ten years at home to get there.

Challenged enough quote(1)

If you are worried about appropriately challenging your child, I suggest that you make as your goal joy in writing. It is far more difficult for schooled kids to fall in love with writing. Often by college, they really have little to say and many don’t even have a very good sense of what an essay is all about (despite twelve years of teaching). I know this because my husband has taught composition to college freshmen for fifteen years).

If you can foster and preserve a child’s joy in the writing process, in discovering how to communicate his thoughts and ideas on paper, in sharing his work with others, you will be far ahead of his schooled peers and you will find that you are both plenty challenged in the process!

Thanks for writing!
Julie

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Email: The Power of Finding Readers

I am so excited about what you are doing with Brave Writer. Such a wealth of insight, knowlege and experience! Thank you for offering this. You have really kept me motivated and hopeful in trying to make writing a part of our lifestyle.

I also wanted to share a success with you. My daughter participated in one of your reluctant writers online courses. (Rachel taught our session–wonderful teacher.) We’ve been writing sporadically since, but haven’t given up.  We’ve been co-oping with four other families around art this past year and half with one meeting time each semester set aside for a writing “share day.” Several of the families have The Writer’s Jungle and we wanted to give our kids the opportunity to “publish” their writing as you suggest in the curriculum. It is an open forum with participants ranging in age from 8 to 13 (my daughter). We’ve had everything from book reports to excerpts from a student’s novel. The kids have all been very enthusiastic about sharing their writing. We always give positive feedback at the end and you can see the connection it makes for the kids that what and how they choose to say something really can mean something for others.

I saw several of your principles come together in the process of my daughter’s most recent piece.  I had told her a “share day” was coming up in about a month and that I’d like her to be thinking about a topic. I suggested we could do a list and then funnel if she wanted, but gave her time just to ponder on her own first. Some time later, we were sitting in the lounge of our ballet academy during a Nutcracker rehearsal when she sat up straight and announced that she knew what she wanted to write about. Thankfully she had a journal with her (she journals about dance regularly) and began writing with abandon. :) 

She had the core written in a couple of days with editing and proofing taking very little time. She was surprised at how easily it came (I was delighted!)  “Saturation” and “Incubation” allowed her to write with confidence.  I will admit to still struggling a bit with editing. I want to encourage maturity in her writing, but don’t want it to become my piece and not hers. So I tried just to focus on looking for those “flashes of insight” and words that really communicate feeling. The result was “The Mouse Trap.”  I was so thrilled with the process itself and pleased with the piece itself, but the whole experience was capped off by the share day. A couple of the moms had tears in their eyes when Sara was done reading. She had connected with the “reader” in a meaningful way! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(I have posted her piece to the Scratch Pad for those who’d like to read it.)

Thanks again, Julie for all your work on our behalf.

Warmly,
Brave Mom

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Homeschool Advice: Should we correct our children’s creative work?

Should we critique our kids' creative work?

How much correction should one do on a child’s creative work? My 8 y.o. daughter has a delightful continuing novel/journal/thing that contains all (if not more!) of the typical misspellings and grammatical errors of the age. We do separate spelling lists but I frequently see words that are spelled perfectly on a quiz misspelled in her work. {{exasperated sigh}} She is a reluctant writer and I am hesitant to put her off her work by “mining” it for spelling errors, even though it would be the most targeted approach.

What would you do?

Kay

Great question!

Let’s get things in perspective first. Your daughter is eight years old. That means she’s been talking for about six years. It also means that she’s been reading and writing for maybe a year or two at most. The number of spelling errors she’s making ought to be about the same amount (maybe even more) than she made when trying to construct a sentence in English at 2-3 years old.

In other words, she will have atrocious spelling at age eight!

If she is writing for love and is only eight, leave her alone. Read her writing. Better yet, let her read it to you. Enjoy the content. Laugh in the right places. Say, “Oh no!” when danger threatens. Ask her to reread your favorite section. And then ask her to read that same section to her dad in the evening.

If she can read her own spelling, you have nothing to worry about. It takes about ten years to become a fluent speller. She is eight. She’s got until she’s eighteen to “get it right.”

If she wants you to read her writing and you simply can’t because the spelling is so bad, you can suggest to her that she help you decode her spelling so that you understand how she is thinking phonetically. Ask her if you can jot down the words as you know how to spell them so that you can read her work properly (you might want to put those words on a separate sheet of paper so as not to mar the original work).

The point is this: Her active self-expression in written language is the act of growth in spelling. It shows itself by spelling errors. She will learn to spell more and more correctly by writing and reading, reading and writing, sharing her writing and explaining her spelling. This will take time. Lots of time. Years of time.

Your child’s active self-expression in written language is the act of growth in early spelling.

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In the meantime, make sure you don’t squash that exuberant, carefree, interested written expression. To regain enthusiasm for writing once it’s been crushed by zealous error corrections is far more difficult than naturally growing as a speller.

And remember: copywork is the better place to work on spelling anyway.

Again, great question!

Click to get oodles more copywork resources for your homeschool. 

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