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A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

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Archive for the ‘Email’ Category

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Retelling: Details or Summary or Both?

Helping Your Child Narrate

Great phone call today. Here’s the gist:

Mom: What do I do when my son [age 11] retells the details of a book or movie or story, but he can’t tell me the overarching narrative that goes with it? Like he can’t say the main plot points. He rambles and gets caught up in details that are non-essential to the plot, but he tells them with so much accuracy and depth, I hate to stop him.

My response:

Adults summarize. They can pick out the main points and sequence them. They’ve read 1000s of stories, watched as many films, and are well aware of the narrative arc (plot diagram) by virtue of time on the planet and years logged reading/absorbing “story.”

Kids don’t have this background, and can’t summarize like you. They’re younger. Story is fresh for them. They are beguiled by subplots and character quirks and twists. They chase the shiny object called “weapons,” “cute puppies,” “sassy friends,” “weird creatures,” “magic spells” or “epic battles” and report all that is filling their imaginations to the brink of enthusiasm. When you ask them to tell you about the story, the most exciting, fascinating points overflow. They can’t “sort” the images and emotions. They aren’t likely to sequence events into the narrative arc. They retell the memorable moments, with detail, reliving them in front of you.

Of course, most adults have completely lost the ability to trap details to that extent. Our brains are too busy for detail. We save the important markers and ditch the quirky dialog or style of weaponry. Children can retell with amazing accuracy. We have too many digits, words, experiences, memories, obligations in the way of uncluttered retelling. We hang onto the big picture and file it under “mental notecard” – as in, if asked, this is what I share.

Retelling: details or summary or both?

Being able to summarize is a fairly sophisticated skill. It is possible to cultivate, but please don’t think it a superior skill to retelling in detail. For now, here’s how I want you to proceed:

Start by listening, really closely. Ask real questions that help you understand who, what, where, and when as the child relates the particular scene. You can jot down the responses on separate sheets of paper per scene or image or dialog. Keep these on a table in front of you. Ask for key details (names, places, why such-and-such happened).

Print a plot diagram (a simple one).

Then, with these notes in front of you both, ask some of these questions to help sort the information just shared:

1. Pick up one of the stories: Did this event happen at the beginning, or in the middle, or near the end of the story/film/book? Move the note you took to the right place on the table along the narrative arc. Do that for each of the scenes you’ve jotted down.

2. Ask the child what moment decided the outcome (the climax)? It may be difficult to identify the single one (there are lots of sub-plots in most stories). But the BIG one happens near the end. So direct your child’s attention to the end of the plot line. You can even discuss ones that were important along the way, but weren’t the final key determining factor. That’s a good conversation to have!

3. Talk about the characters. Which character is the most important to the story (without whom, there would be no story)? It’s usually obvious, but not always! The main character is called “the protagonist” and that is the one who is a part of the climax. We figure out who is important by how much we care about what happens to that character. A guide to identifying that character, then, is “Whose story do we care the most about?” Of course, your child may love a character in the subplot, but then you can expand backwards and say, “Who do you think the author wants us to care most about?” That will help differentiate.

4. Now talk about the antagonist (the character that wants to thwart the goal of the main character). Who stands to gain by interrupting the progress of the protagonist?

5. Lastly, ask about the events your child narrated to you. Are these related to the protagonist’s plight? Or are they about side-kick characters? If they are “side-kick characters,” we call these scenes part of the “sub-plot.” A sub-plot keeps the story interesting, adds detail to the main plot, and supplies a distraction or complication when the author needs one. Figure out whether the memorable scenes are plot or subplot.

Retelling: details or summary or both?

Once you’ve collected this data, see if you can put it in a meaningful whole. You might narrate back to your child all the information you’ve collected and demonstrate what it means to put it in sequence. Once you’ve done that, you can ask your child to correct you, add to it, or try his/her own hand at it! Overtime, you can ask the child to take over and create the narration from this material from scratch.

What I hope you’ll take from this post:

Work with what your kids give you! Help them sort it out. Model what it looks like when it matches what you are hoping to hear. Then give them the chance to do it, with your help.

Do not abandon your child to your expectations and then wring your hands when they fail. Teach! That’s your job and your privilege.


Brave Writer Arrow Book ClubOur  Arrow Book Club provides an online discussion space for students (ages 10-12) to discuss literature using literary analysis vocabulary without the pressure of writing “essays.” Homeschool students especially need the chance to talk about what they read—-yet the busy mother-of-many doesn’t always have time to take the discussion to a written form.


Images: Children reading by Brave Writer mom, Kort / Girl reading on bed by Personal Creations (cc)

Posted in Email, Literary elements, Reading, Young Writers | 4 Comments »

Email: What to do with a struggling daughter

DSCN4345

I get lots of questions about kids with learning disabilities and language processing disorders. While it’s important to get the right help for those neurological issues, you can do a lot to change the mood around learning by creating an entirely different context for education. In some cases, you’ll discover that what you thought was a learning disability was actually resistance to tedious, poorly executed lessons. You are key to creating a brand new, sparkling environment for learning. My answer to Lisa follows her note to me.
 
 

Hi Julie,

I came across your site through a home school message board. My daughter is in 7th grade and is new to homeschooling as of last month. She has some pretty significant learning issues with dyslexia and she literally can barely write a sentence. But… she has a very high IQ and is very creative and can learn very quickly when she wants to. On top of the learning issues she has a severe mood disorder and EXTREME anxiety. She is an absolute perfectionist with herself and this is one of her biggest obstacles. She absolutely hates reading and also refuses to use audio books. She was in private school K-4 and did ok. She transferred to a remedial school for 5th & 6th grade and this year we tried to go back to a small private school that offered support for learning issues. She had so much anxiety and went into a deep depression. As a result I decided to pull her out and try homeschooling. So… having said all this, I am struggling to find curriculum that she will enjoy and comply with. I had her journaling and doing some free style type writing but she is so hard on herself.

She cannot spell and gets so frustrated with herself. No level of support or love can help her get over this perfectionism in herself and it’s very crippling. I have spent a lot of time on your website and it looks really neat. The Arrow program looks good even though my daughter is a 7th grader since her reading level is low. I am just not sure if this program will work for her but I am very encouraged. Do you have any good results with kids with learning/mood disorders? I love the idea of the online class for the accountability but she would probably have a nervous breakdown worrying about the instructor and how “bad” she writes. Any advice you could offer would be appreciated. Thanks so much!!

Sincerely,
Lisa

Hi Lisa.

Your daughter needs some deschooling. No “school” for a little while. Give her trips to art museums, do craft projects, take up baking and sewing, sign her up for Taekwondo where she can learn to be tough and defend herself and show strength. (These are suggestions, obviously, not prescriptions.) The point, though, is that she is damaged from all the pressure of school. 7th grade is still young. Celebrate the joy of learning together. Watch “Downton Abbey” (the PBS show) and learn about war, and costumes of that era, and have tea, and discuss hierarchy and classes, and then watch everything Maggie Smith is in, and then discuss acting, and then try memorizing a speech together from a movie and acting it out.

Get OUT of the school mindset. Get into the learning one.

One of the best things I ever did with my kids was to learn about art history in front of them. I got books from the library, watched the “Sister Wendy’s Story of Painting” videos (dark ages!) with my kids in the room. I dragged them with me to the art museum. I brought my own pencils and sketch book to draw what I saw and take notes. These kids became so interested in art, they’ve continued to love art museums and know famous painters and trivia about their lives.

The point is this: you have a bright, creative, energetic daughter who is damaged from school. Writing, as important as it is, must be moved away from school and back into a natural part of life. That comes from not requiring it and living it in front of her. But if she has nothing new to think about or consider, she will have nothing to write about.

Her perfectionism is her defense against judgment and failure. She’s trying really hard not to fail. So take away the “failure” by eliminating the need to perform… for a good long while.

Try poetry teatimes (these are low stress, HIGH results experiences). Go to a Shakespeare play; knit; read Harry Potter aloud; get out in nature and record the temperatures, the trees, the birds; visit the zoo; see movies in the middle of the day.

YOU read newspapers and non-fiction books about history and then talk freely about what you’re learning in her presence (not as a lecture, but in that “I was really struck by…” kind of way). Let her hear you learn. Take up some new pursuit yourself and see how you learn!

Write a Christmas letter together. Let her take the photos and lay it out and contribute her ideas. You write it. Mail it together. Have her address the envelopes (if she will). Let her type. Let her use spellcheck on the computer.

See?

The Arrow is great, but it can feel like school to a girl like yours. So get it for you so you understand how to talk about literature naturally with her (let it teach you). Don’t force ANYTHING on her. You might even listen to a book on CD over lunches that YOU want to hear and if she listens, great. If not, that’s okay too. Get into learning and you’ll discover how to help her too.

Lastly, a cafe au lait at Barnes and Noble is a great way to shift gears. Take her OUT of the house, and share that things are changing at home, that her input matters, and that you want her to feel happy and successful and will take your cues from her… then invite her to tell you what she would LOVE to do all day long and then go DO IT!

Hope that helps!

Julie

Posted in Brave Writer Lifestyle, Brave Writer Philosophy, Email, Learning Disabilities, Poetry, Poetry Teatime, Unschooling | 1 Comment »

Trust the Process

Trust the Process

On Facebook the other morning, I shared that the hardest part for homeschooling families used to traditional writing programs is making the mental shift to seeing writing as a process. Like all paradigm shifts, at first the new idea (the new way of seeing) feels wrong or unnatural. However, at the same time, you feel strangely drawn to the “new” (it’s spoken to some part of you where your truth and experience reside). So you push past your discomfort and lean into the new way of understanding despite your anxiety that it may be wrong!

I got the following email from Stephanie and it beautifully illustrates this shift—what it looks and feels like to live into the new.

I have her permission to share it.


Hi Julie!

Had an interesting and very illuminating time writing with Jason today. I really want to thank you for the idea of shared writing. I think it is almost like I needed permission to be able to do it and not feel as if I was “cheating.” Which is funny, because I talk and blog about how much that is seen as “cheating” can actually be wonderful ways to learn. The thing is, it makes so much sense! This is the way that we approach other subjects like math. We work on it together until he “gets it” and can do it on his own. Duh!

Working with Jason today on his essay for his evaluation felt so right…it was not me making suggestions or correcting things, it was him and me working and brainstorming and seeing what worked and what did not. We worked on it for over an hour with no complaints and we both felt good about it after.

I have to admit that I had to get over my own hang-up that I was “doing it for him” because he was not writing it “all by himself”. What really jumped out at me while we were working was how much of a collaboration it wound up being…more like an ongoing discussion about writing than a “lesson.” I also realized sometimes writing just comes down to seeing “what sounds good”…in the past I would get hung up on trying to explain more about why it should be one way or the other. This time around we often just tried different ways of saying things to see what we liked best. I have found that he sometimes gets hung up on how best to say something or is not sure how it “fits in”, so he drops the idea. Since I was right there, I could say let’s explore that a bit more and worry about what to do with it later (and lo and behold, once we fleshed it out, it was pretty easy to figure out where it worked).

I was a little worried that he would feel as if I was “directing” too much, but when we were done, I could tell he felt good about it. I asked him if he felt that he still owned it even though we worked on it together and he said it was definitely his.

Makes me doubly glad that we are homeschooling, because I think this way of learning works well for him and I am not sure it would fly if he was writing for another teacher who was going to grade his work. I definitely did not write it for him, but not sure a teacher would feel comfortable with the level of my involvement, which is a shame. But that is why we are homeschooling.

I touched base with Jason last night before bed about how much I enjoyed our writing session today and he agreed. Yea!

I have to keep reminding myself that this is a process. I don’t always do well with trusting the process – I want to know exactly how it is going to work out (and how we are going to get there). I remember taking the The Writer’s Jungle Online class and posting a note to Christine during the free write portion asking her if this was really going to come together as his writing was so stream of consciousness, I just could not see where it was going or how it was going to get there. She encouraged me to trust the process and dang it if it did not all come together. I have seen that when we work at home…I can’t always see where we are going or how we are going to get there, but when we actually sit down and do it, it somehow seems to come together.

Good lesson for this left-brained, sequential, plan-it-all out Mom whose kid is a very right-brained, global, stream of consciousness thinker. Gotta embrace the life lessons that come our way while parenting our kids!

So thanks again for the freedom. I also wanted to let you know I am definitely looking forward to the next podcast!


Thanks Stephanie for sharing your writing experiences with Brave Writer readers.

Bottom line: The process of writing is more successful when you embrace your role as coach and ally.

Growth is fostered through modeling
and collaboration, through trust and time.

These strategies feel like they would be more time-consuming than independent work assigned to a child. But as most of us know, sometimes independent work simply means hours wasted on prodding, exasperation, and a child sitting stone cold at a table.

Fewer writing projects with more interaction is a far more effective strategy for writing growth than required independence and lots of assignments.

Trust me. Trust Stephanie!

Julie


The Writer's Jungle Online

Posted in Brave Writer Philosophy, Email | 1 Comment »

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