Trusting Our Kids

Brave Writer

It seems the spirit of the age is that parents ought to take control of their children’s lives because the parent knows best and the world is dangerous.

Yet the child knows best what their interior life feels like. Most kids want to have a good and happy life (believe me—didn’t you?). They are not out to get away with anything.

Your children are learning what is good for them and what isn’t. They cannot always know that on their own.

We’ve forgotten the inner child cry—“I know things! I’m not a bad person. I want to be happy!” We can start here with optimism rather than scrutiny and fear.

We don’t have to…

  • treat our children like they’re lying to us or are bent on their own self-destruction.
  • lead with suspicion or treating our children’s desires as frightening to us.
  • shame them or blame them for wanting what we decided was bad for them (more computer time, extra candy, staying up late, climbing an eight foot wall).

If we start with curiosity and kindness while showing interest in how a child wants to assemble their lives, we may find ideas that help both them and us thrive.

It’s hard for kids to trust their parents when kids feel they aren’t seen as trustworthy themselves.

I wrote a whole book called The Brave Learner to help you find meaningful ways to connect with your children, while trusting them and leading them into a great life that they will enjoy and you will feel good about.

The Brave Learner

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Brave Learning: A Critical Thinker’s Bill of Rights

Brave Writer

Recently on Brave Learning…

A Critical Thinker’s Bill of Rights

and responsibilities, for good measure

Have you ever experienced a sudden blast of awareness—what you thought you knew, you now question?

What did that feel like? Disturbing? Anxiety-provoking? Liberating?

Have you ever been in a conversation only to discover that the ideas you hold would injure your relationship if you were to say them out loud?

How did you manage those thoughts and ideas?

Do you ever feel pressured to declare a decided opinion, even when you don’t have the data and education to take a strong position?

Where did that pressure come from? What were the unsaid (or said) consequences of deviating from the group’s approved beliefs?

[Keep reading]

Subscribe to Brave Learning on Substack where we discuss, problem-solve, and create together. Here’s what you can expect: weekly themed content, freewriting prompts, and a podcast for kiddos called Monday Morning Meeting! 

Raising Critical Thinkers

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[Podcast #326] Big and Little Families

Brave Writer Podcast

Homeschooling looks different depending on how many kids you’re teaching—and that’s exactly the point.

In this Brave Writer podcast episode, we explore the real-life rhythms of homeschooling in both big families and small ones, offering practical strategies for group learning, one-on-one time, and everything in between.

We talk about:

  • releasing guilt,
  • using creative resources to keep kids engaged,
  • and recognizing the unique opportunities that come with each family size.

Whether you’re juggling many ages or navigating the intensity of homeschooling an only child, this conversation is full of reassurance, ideas, and perspective. Join us—and let’s rethink what “doing enough” really means.

Show Notes

Homeschooling doesn’t come in one standard size. The daily rhythms of a home with six children look very different from those of a home with one—and yet both can offer rich, meaningful learning when expectations are aligned with reality.

Let go of equal time

One of the biggest myths in homeschooling, especially for large families, is the idea that every child must receive equal time, equal attention, and equal subjects every single day. That model simply doesn’t reflect how learning actually works. Instead, homeschooling thrives when we allow learning to happen in shifting configurations: whole-group discussions, small clusters, pairs, and occasional one-on-one moments. These groupings evolve as children grow, and that flexibility is a strength, not a flaw.

Design for real life

In homes with many children, one-on-one instruction often happens outside traditional “school hours.” Early mornings, nap times, evenings, and weekends all count. Learning doesn’t disappear when the clock hits 3:00. Creating space for focused instruction sometimes means letting other children watch a show, work independently, or dive into open-ended creative activities. That isn’t a failure of discipline—it’s a thoughtful accommodation to reality.

The power of open-ended play

Creative stations stocked with materials like clay, watercolors, beeswax, pipe cleaners, and building supplies allow children of many ages to engage meaningfully at the same time. These activities aren’t just distractions. They support fine motor skills, imagination, problem-solving, and sustained attention, while freeing the parent to work closely with a child who needs it.

Small families bring their own intensity

Homeschooling one child or two can feel surprisingly demanding. Without siblings to diffuse attention, the spotlight can feel intense for both parent and child. That’s why parallel learning—working side by side rather than face to face—can be so powerful. Reading together, writing together, or pursuing shared interests lowers pressure and keeps learning relational instead of performative.

Go wide and deep

Only children, in particular, benefit from group experiences beyond the home. Theater groups, clubs, volunteer work, and classes with mixed ages provide collaboration and perspective. At the same time, small families have a unique advantage: the ability to go deep. When a child’s interests drive learning, parents can follow those threads confidently, knowing depth is not the enemy of progress.

Protect emotional space

Sibling comparisons can be especially sharp in families with just two children. Offering different assignments, honoring developmental timelines, and resisting side-by-side comparisons protects each child’s dignity. Learning isn’t a race, and progress doesn’t need to look the same.

Homeschooling succeeds when we stop forcing our families into rigid frameworks and instead build systems that reflect who we actually are. Big or small, every family can create a learning life that is humane, responsive, and full of curiosity.

Resources

Connect with Julie

Connect with Melissa

Produced by NOVA

Brave Writer Podcast

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The Enchanted Education: Master Post

Brave Writer Enchanted Education

Enchantment does not always mean adding more. Sometimes, enchantment means recognizing what your family already does and leaning into it—counting it!

Little moments that make up your day can be encounters with enchantment if you stop to recognize them and soak them up with pleasure and appreciation.

This collection of posts will give you insights into what you should “count” as enchantment, and offer ideas for little ways you can boost your day to connect with your child and up the enchantment in your homeschool.

For more on this important topic,
check out Julie’s book, The Brave Learner!

Brave Learner Home

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If You Don’t Fit In

Brave Writer

Sometimes it feels hard to be a homeschooler. You’re looking for the group where you fit in and you can’t quite find one. I feel you.

The stakes are higher than ever. So many groups have a strict philosophy or practice or belief system and if you don’t align, it can feel difficult to participate wholeheartedly. In some cases, you can’t even join!

I’ve lived a version of that experience and it’s not fun. It doesn’t feel good to be told that you don’t belong just because you don’t agree or you changed your mind.

When I built Brave Writer, I always wanted to welcome as wide a variety of homeschooler as there was into our work. We grow and we learn when we are exposed to a wide range of ideas and people and beliefs.

If it feels like you don’t fit elsewhere, just know that you have a home with us. We see you. We want you.

Need more support? Join our Brave Learner Home community and unlock the riches inside: coaches, resources, trainings, and friendships! And, as a member, you’ll have immediate access to the most extensive homeschool resource library on the internet.

Brave Learner Home

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