A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

I can’t wait for you to listen to today’s podcast episode!

Today’s show marks a new beginning in the Brave Writer podcast. I’m introducing a co-host to the show:

Meet Melissa Wiley, a long-time homeschooler, children’s book writer, and valued friend and colleague. Melissa has written two highly-regarded novels which we share in the Brave Writer world, The Prairie Thief and The Nerviest Girl in the World, and also works for Brave Writer, writing our Quills (writing program for 5-7) and Darts (writing program for 8-10) and teaching a number of our online classes.

Today’s show highlights Melissa’s unique approach to homeschooling, known as “tidal schooling,” a metaphor for the ocean tides. We’ll talk about the ebb and flow of learning using Melissa’s model!

• How do you capitalize on a child’s interests while continuing to keep homeschool lessons rolling?
• What’s the difference between unschooling and tidal schooling? 
• Why do we tend to associate learning with effort?

You do not have to homeschool to benefit from the podcast, as much of what we will share are just great parenting ideas. So join in on the conversation and enjoy the new journey into the future as we get to know Melissa!

Show Notes

What is “tidal schooling”?

In her homeschooling philosophy, Melissa Wiley coined the term “tidal schooling” to describe the ebb and flow of structure and autonomy in her approach to education. She explains that in 2006, she was having conversations about labeling oneself as a certain type of homeschooler, such as a Charlotte Mason homeschooler or unschooler, but found that her own approach was a combination of both. She recognized that there were times when a more structured approach, where she planned and mapped out their journey, worked well for her family, while other times they needed a more unstructured approach, where they were free to explore their interests at their own pace. She compares this to the metaphor of the ocean tides, where high tide represents the more structured times and low tide represents the more unstructured times. During low tide, she acts as a facilitator, providing resources and experiences to feed their interests, and ensuring their safety, similar to how a parent would at the beach.

This philosophy was more of a description of what Melissa was already doing with her homeschooling that had been working — allowing her to ebb and flow, enjoying ideological variety without being locked into a specific mindset.

The purpose of homeschooling

When homeschooling, a significant part of our effort is to prepare our children for a healthy and fulfilling adult life. This includes teaching them how to assess their own well-being and make choices that align with their values and personal experience. One of the challenges with traditional education is that it often promotes a set of values that contradict our natural experience and can lead us to distrust our personal experience in favor of those values. For example, the belief that learning is only happening when it is difficult, that effort is more valuable than ease, or that learning has to happen in all subjects every day. These are structures that are designed for order and control, to manage large groups of students, but they do not align with the goals of creating a fulfilling life.

In fact, we have clear evidence that our current structure is not beneficial for most people. When I had vocal chord problems, my otolaryngologist told me that most of their clientele are teachers because no one should be expected to speak out loud for seven hours a day. It’s a difficult and demanding lifestyle, and we put our kids through it as if it’s ordinary.

We hope you enjoyed this conversation as just a taste of what’s to come — a whole new adventure for the Brave Writer world!

Resources

• Website: melissawiley.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissawileybooks/
• Prairie Thief: https://bravewriter.com/book-shop/book/the-prairie-thief
• Nerviest Girl in the World: https://bravewriter.com/book-shop/book/the-nerviest-girl-in-the-world
• Hamlet’s Soliloquy – Blue Ridge Mountain Accent – Shakespeare’s Version and My Hillbilly Translation
• Get 10% off our Growing Brave Writers program using code GBWPOD10 at https://store.bravewriter.com/products/growing-brave-writers
• Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
• Want help getting started with Brave Writer? Head over to bravewriter.com/getting-started
• Sign up for the Brave Writer newsletter to learn about all of the special offers we’re doing in 2022 and you’ll get a free seven-day Writing Blitz guide just for signing up: http://go.bravewriter.com/writing-blitz

Connect with Julie

• Instagram: instagram.com/juliebravewriter
• Twitter: twitter.com/bravewriter
• Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter

Kids are naturally, wonderfully curious — especially when it comes to their own bodies. It isn’t easy to answer curious kids’ questions about their bodies with accuracy and to their satisfaction.

That’s where the book Human Body Learning Lab by Dr. Betty Choi comes in. The author, a Harvard-educated pediatrician, shares her passion for helping children understand their bodies and satisfy their curiosity.

Join us on the Brave Writer podcast for a fascinating conversation with Dr. Choi on how to create opportunities for kids to get to know their own bodies.

Show Notes

Dr. Betty Choi wrote Human Body Learning Lab with the goal of providing children with a hands-on, interactive learning experience about the human body. She wanted to create a resource that was not limited to just two-dimensional words on a page but incorporated hands-on activities. Additionally, she wanted to include a diverse range of images in the book, reflective of real-life anatomy, to provide a more accurate representation of people’s physical appearance both on the outside and inside.

Parenting through empowerment

One of the examples Dr. Choi uses in her book is teaching children about the immune system and the benefits that come along with doing so. Imposing a belief about germs on children without providing a deeper understanding can lead to an authoritative parenting style. Instead of just telling a child to wash their hands, it’s much more effective to explain the reasons behind the behavior, such as protection from germs and potential dangers from food allergies. This understanding can motivate children to make informed decisions and develop healthy habits.

Dr. Betty Choi recommends an experiment that she suggests doing with kids to demonstrate the power of soap in fighting germs. The experiment requires water, black pepper, dish soap, and a bowl. The first step is to put water and black pepper in the bowl and then stick your finger in it. Nothing significant happens. Then, the experiment is repeated by putting a tiny bit of dish soap on the fingertip and then sticking the finger just a little bit at the top of the water. The experiment is intended to show the kids how soap can scatter away the black pepper flakes, which are meant to represent germs, and highlight the power of soap. She’s performed this experiment with preschoolers and even older kids and teens and the reaction has been fascinating.

The fine balance in discussing reproductive parts

Human Body Learning Lab contains a chapter on the reproductive system. This chapter may evoke strong emotions for some parents who feel uncomfortable discussing sexuality with their children. However, Dr. Choi’s intent was to normalize this conversation, just as we would talk about other body systems such as the digestive system. These conversations are essential for the health and safety of our children, as it protects them from potential abuse and ensures they receive accurate information.

If children do not receive this information from safe resources, they will find it elsewhere — the internet is just a tap away, after all. So it is important for parents to provide a solid foundation of information to their children.

How to teach kids to talk about their bodies

As a parent, it’s important to teach kids about their bodies and how to take care of them. One approach is to talk about hunger and listen to what the body is telling us. For example, ask your child if their stomach is growling or if they feel full. This helps the child be in touch with their body and its signals.

In addition, there are three different thinking exercises to help kids understand their bodies better:

Physical Body: Teach kids to listen to their body’s cues and to observe what might be getting in the way, such as TV or music in the background. Ask questions like how do you know when you’re cold, tired, or thirsty and let the child observe the physical sensations in their body.

Emotional Health: Discuss emotions and how they affect the body. For example, ask how the child knows they’re nervous or excited, and have them notice physical sensations like heart rate, muscle tension, or sweating. You can also model how you know when you’re upset or stressed.

Actions: Teach kids to think critically about why we do the things we do, like washing our hands. Ask questions like why do you think we wear clothes or why is it important to brush our teeth. Encourage kids to think about their actions and not just do them out of habit.

By engaging kids in these exercises, they can learn to be mindful of their bodies and emotions and make healthy choices.

This is just scratching the surface of the myriad lessons Dr. Betty Choi has in Human Body Learning Lab. If you’re struggling to broach the topic of talking about body parts — especially those tricky, private ones — then this is an invaluable resource to make these discussions fun, engaging, and informative for each of you.

Resources

• Dr. Choi’s website: https://drbettychoi.com/
• Human Body Learning Lab: https://drbettychoi.com/human-body-learning-lab-book/
• Get 10% off our Growing Brave Writers program using code GBWPOD10 at https://store.bravewriter.com/products/growing-brave-writers
• Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
• Want help getting started with Brave Writer? Head over to bravewriter.com/getting-started
• Sign up for the Brave Writer newsletter to learn about all of the special offers we’re doing in 2022 and you’ll get a free seven-day Writing Blitz guide just for signing up: http://go.bravewriter.com/writing-blitz

Connect with Julie

• Instagram: instagram.com/juliebravewriter
• Twitter: twitter.com/bravewriter
• Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter

Debbie Reber knows firsthand how to navigate the journey of raising a neurodivergent child. As the founder of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World, she shares her personal experience of homeschooling and helping other parents. Debbie’s goal is to provide support and resources for parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals.

Join us for today’s Brave Writer podcast as we discuss the different forms of neurodivergence and how they affect your family.

Show Notes

Debbie Reber shares her personal experience of homeschooling her son Asher, who is now an adult, and how she created her own website and podcast to help other parents navigate the journey of raising a neurodivergent child.

In the homeschooling community, many parents choose home education specifically for their differently-wired children. This was the case for Debbie as well. She believes that homeschooling chose her family, as they struggled to find a suitable educational environment for her son Asher, who is twice exceptional and has ADHD and other neurological differences.

Despite initial reluctance, Debbie began homeschooling Asher in third grade and found it to be a transformative experience for both her and her son. It allowed her to get to know him as a learner and as a person and helped her reframe her thoughts around neurodiversity. Debbie’s experience highlights the importance of finding an educational environment that truly fits the needs of differently-wired children.

Rethinking what it means to be a parent and family

Being a parent can come with a lot of societal expectations and pressure to conform to a certain mold of what a “successful” family looks like. For Debbie Reber, the founder of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired, moving to a foreign country helped her strip away these expectations and find freedom in creating her own unique family vision. She found herself surrounded by families in Seattle participating in after-school sports, camps, and traditional family vacations, and she felt pressure and frustration when she couldn’t replicate that for her own family.

Moving abroad allowed her to break free from the comparison and expectations of others and make up her own rules for what works for her family. This included creating new rituals like going to the coffee shop and playing Minecraft together, and not worrying about what others thought. Debbie’s experience highlights the importance of finding what works for your own family and not getting caught up in societal expectations.

The value of diagnoses

Diagnosis can be an important tool for understanding and addressing the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent children. Diagnoses provide context and can help adults understand areas of challenge and strength, it also can give an individual sense of understanding about themselves and their challenges. It is important to remember that a diagnosis should not be seen as the solution, but rather as a way to provide better support for the child. In addition, in traditional school settings, a diagnosis can also help in getting support and services that can help the child in the classroom. Overall, evaluations and assessments can be a great tool for parents to understand their child’s unique needs and find ways to support them.

Giving kids a place to feel seen and heard

Finding a support group and community is essential for neurodivergent children, as they may feel isolated and different from their peers in traditional environments. Debbie suggests that it’s important for neurodivergent kids to spend time with others who are neurodivergent, so they can feel like they belong and understand that there are others like them. She also suggests that open communication and understanding about neurodivergence is important, as it helps to break down the idea that there is a “normal” group and an “outlier” group.

It is important to acknowledge that everyone is unique and has different strengths and weaknesses and that neurodivergence is just one aspect of a person’s complexity. By creating a more open and understanding environment, children can feel more comfortable being themselves and not feel like they have to fit into a certain mold.

When it comes to raising a differently-wired child, it is important to take a step back, trust your intuition, and not feel pressured to have all the answers right away. It’s important to give yourself time to process and not feel rushed into making any decisions. It is also important to remember that a diagnosis is just information and your child is not broken. Rather, it is a chance to get to know your child better and understand their unique strengths and challenges. Trust your intuition. Don’t feel pressured to conform to societal expectations, but rather support your child in a way that is aligned with your values and what you know to be true about your child.

Resources

• Learn more at: https://tiltparenting.com
• Podcast: https://tiltparenting.com/podcast
• 10 Things You Need to Know About Raising a Differently Wired Child video series: https://tiltparenting.com/10things
• 7-Day Challenge: https://tiltparenting.com/7day
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/tiltparenting
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/tiltparenting
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/tiltparenting
• Read: Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
• Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
• Want help getting started with Brave Writer? Head over to bravewriter.com/getting-started
• Sign up for the Brave Writer newsletter to learn about all of the special offers we’re doing in 2022 and you’ll get a free seven-day Writing Blitz guide just for signing up: https://go.bravewriter.com/writing-blitz

Connect with Julie

• Instagram: instagram.com/juliebravewriter
• Twitter: twitter.com/bravewriter
• Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter