What if your child’s hardest behaviors aren’t a problem to fix, but an invitation to grow?

In this Brave Writer podcast episode, we sit down with Mary Van Geffen, author of Parenting a Spicy One, to explore what it really means to raise a strong-willed, sensitive, or explosive child.

We talk about:

• nervous systems,
• repair after blow-ups,
• and why slowing down is often the most effective parenting move.

You’ll hear practical strategies, deeply humane insights, and a reframing of “difficult” kids that just might change everything. Join us, and let’s rethink what supportive parenting can look like.

Show Notes

Some children arrive in our lives with intensity dialed all the way up. They ask more questions, feel more deeply, resist more strongly, and react more loudly. Parenting these kids can leave us wondering whether we’re doing something wrong or whether we’re simply not cut out for the job. That’s where the idea of the “spicy one” becomes such a relief.

What Is a “Spicy One”?

A spicy one isn’t a bad child or even a particularly unusual one. A spicy one is the child who presses directly against our own edges. Their behavior exposes our stress, our wounds, our exhaustion, and our expectations. In other words, the challenge isn’t just who they are. It’s what their nervous system stirs up in ours.

When we frame things this way, the focus shifts. Instead of asking how to fix the child, we start asking what’s happening inside us when things go off the rails. That shift alone can soften so much shame.

Why Parenting Feels Harder Than It Looks

When parenting feels most difficult, the instinct is often to move faster. We raise our voices, tighten control, and search for better techniques. But speed rarely brings clarity. What actually helps is slowing down enough to notice what’s fueling the reaction.

Time pressure, financial stress, feeling watched by others, or carrying unresolved trauma can all magnify a child’s behavior. Naming those pressures doesn’t excuse our reactions, but it does help us respond with more intention and less panic.

The Power of the Conscious Pause

One of the most practical tools we can develop is the conscious pause. This isn’t about shutting down or walking away forever. It’s about creating just enough space to regulate ourselves before responding.

That pause might involve movement, breathing, or sensing what’s happening in your body. Are your shoulders tight? Is your jaw clenched? Are you reacting to the child in front of you, or to the fear that this moment defines your entire parenting story? Slowing down gives us options we don’t have when we’re flooded.

Why Repair Matters More Than Perfection

None of us parents perfectly, and our kids don’t need perfection. They need repair. Repair means returning to the child after a rupture, naming the impact of our behavior without justifying it, and explaining how we’ll try again next time.

When we repair, we teach something powerful: relationships can stretch, break a little, and still be safe. That lesson builds trust far more deeply than always getting it right.

Rethinking Praise and Affirmation

Many parents rely on praise to communicate love, but praise often focuses on performance. For strong-willed kids especially, that can feel hollow or even pressuring. Affirmation works differently. It names who a child is, not just what they did.

Persistent. Curious. Open-hearted. Brave. When children hear those truths reflected back to them, they begin to internalize them. They don’t need to earn belonging; they already have it.

What Spicy Kids Teach Us

These kids often grow into adults with vision, courage, and leadership. But long before that, they teach us something essential about being human. They invite us to slow down, stay present, and love without conditions.

Parenting a spicy one isn’t about producing a polished outcome. It’s about showing up again and again with curiosity, humility, and care. And in the process, we often become the steadier, braver people our kids needed all along.

Resources

• Preorder Parenting a Spicy One for special bonuses! Details at Mary Van Geffen’s website: https://www.maryvangeffen.com
• Follow Mary on Instagram @maryvangeffen
• Find books mentioned in this episode in the Brave Writer Book Shop
• Brave Writer class registration is open!
• Visit Julie’s Substack to find her special podcast for kids (and a lot more!) 
• Purchase Julie’s new book, Help! My Kid Hates Writing
• Find community in our membership forum, the Brave Learner Home 
• Learn more about the Brave Writer Literature & Mechanics programs
• Start a free trial of CTCmath.com to try the math program that’s sure to grab and keep your child’s attention
• Give your child the gift of music! Sign up for a free month of private lessons with Maestro Music and let your child discover their own musical voice: www.maestromusic.online/brave
• Subscribe to Julie’s Substack newsletters, Brave Learning with Julie Bogart and Julie Off Topic, and Melissa’s Catalog of Enthusiasms
• Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
• Send us podcast topic ideas by texting us: +1 (833) 947-3684
• Interested in advertising with us? Reach out to media@bravewriter.com

Connect with Julie

• Instagram: @juliebogartwriter
• Threads: @juliebogartwriter
• Bluesky: @bravewriter.com
• Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter

Connect with Melissa

• Website: melissawiley.com
• Substack: melissawiley.substack.com
• Instagram: @melissawileybooks
• Bluesky: @melissawiley.bsky.social

Produced by NOVA

What if the real magic of learning isn’t found in a curriculum, but in the relationship between a child, a parent, and an idea?

In this episode of the Outspoken podcast, Julie Bogart, CEO and Founder of Brave Writer, talks about why protecting a child’s authentic writing voice matters more than teaching to evaluation. Julie:

• provides suggestions for how parents can act as coaches who nurture insight rather than enforce correctness.
• discusses AI and its impact on kids’ ability to think and struggle productively.
• and explores how homeschooling has evolved and why relational learning outperforms traditional schooling. 

Tune in to hear how Julie is reshaping the future of writing and home education!

Here’s a clip from the episode:

Resources

• Outschool podcast: https://outschool.org/outspoken
• Julie’s author website: https://juliebogartwriter.com/
• Help! My Kid Hates Writing: https://juliebogartwriter.com/help-my-kid-hates-writing/
• Brave Writer: https://bravewriter.com/

Connect with Julie

• Instagram: @juliebogartwriter
• Threads: @juliebogartwriter
• Bluesky: @bravewriter.com
• Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter

If your homeschool doesn’t produce stacks of worksheets, does that mean learning isn’t happening?

In this Brave Writer podcast episode, we explore why meaningful education often leaves very little paper behind. From embodied grammar lessons to spontaneous moments of insight, we talk about how children actually learn and why traditional record-keeping can miss the point. We also share practical, low-pressure ways to document growth without turning your home into a classroom clone.

If you’ve ever worried that your homeschool doesn’t “look like enough,” this conversation offers reassurance, clarity, and permission to trust what you see unfolding every day. Join us and rethink what counts as real evidence of learning.

Show Notes

One of the hardest adjustments for homeschooling parents, especially those coming from traditional school environments, is letting go of visible proof. We’re conditioned to believe that learning must produce paper: worksheets, essays, tests, portfolios stuffed with graded work. When those things disappear, anxiety creeps in. Are we doing enough? Is this real learning?

The truth is that much of the most meaningful learning doesn’t announce itself with tidy artifacts. It shows up later, unexpectedly, in conversation, curiosity, and connection.

Why Paper Feels Reassuring

School trained us to equate effort with output. Thirty desks, thirty papers, one teacher checking compliance. That system depends on physical evidence. At home, learning happens differently. Children sprawl on couches, talk through ideas, act things out, read deeply, and connect dots silently. That can feel unsettling if you’re waiting for proof.

But learning isn’t linear, and it isn’t always visible in the moment. Skills like punctuation, sentence fluency, or narrative structure don’t emerge because a child followed steps in the right order. They emerge through repetition, exposure, and internalization. One day, a period simply appears at the end of a sentence because it feels right.

Catching Learning in the Wild

Instead of assigning work in order to generate records, we can become observers. When a child explains something they’ve learned, narrates a story, makes an unexpected comparison, or uses new vocabulary, that’s learning surfacing. Write it down. Record it. Take a picture. Save a note on your phone.

These moments are often more revealing than any worksheet. They show synthesis, understanding, and ownership.

Expanding What Counts as a Record

Documentation doesn’t have to live in a binder. Photos of projects, ticket stubs from museums, lists of books read, sketches, voice memos, timelines, family notebooks, and weekly reflections all tell the story of a rich education. Free writing, done occasionally, gives children a chance to consolidate what stuck without draining joy from the process.

Many families find it helpful to track what they did  in the course of a day or week, rather than focusing on what they planned to do. Looking back over weeks and months often reveals far more progress than memory alone can hold.

Shifting the Focus

When we focus only on what’s missing, we miss growth. A page of writing with three spelling errors still contains dozens of correct words, strong verbs, and clear ideas. Training ourselves to see what’s working builds confidence, both in our children and in ourselves.

Homeschooling isn’t about recreating school at home. It’s about creating a learning life that fits your family. When you trust that process, the evidence is there, even if it doesn’t fit neatly into a folder.

Resources

• Find delicious reading selections for kids and adults in the Brave Writer Book Shop
• Brave Writer class registration is open!
• Visit Julie’s Substack to find her special podcast for kids (and a lot more!) 
• Purchase Julie’s new book, Help! My Kid Hates Writing
• Find community in our membership forum, the Brave Learner Home 
• Learn more about the Brave Writer Literature & Mechanics programs
• Start a free trial of CTCmath.com to try the math program that’s sure to grab and keep your child’s attention
• Give your child the gift of music! Sign up for a free month of private lessons with Maestro Music and let your child discover their own musical voice: www.maestromusic.online/brave
• Subscribe to Julie’s Substack newsletters, Brave Learning with Julie Bogart and Julie Off Topic, and Melissa’s Catalog of Enthusiasms
• Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
• Send us podcast topic ideas by texting us: +1 (833) 947-3684
• Interested in advertising with us? Reach out to media@bravewriter.com

Connect with Julie

• Instagram: @juliebogartwriter
• Threads: @juliebogartwriter
• Bluesky: @bravewriter.com
• Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter

Connect with Melissa

• Website: melissawiley.com
• Substack: melissawiley.substack.com
• Instagram: @melissawileybooks
• Bluesky: @melissawiley.bsky.social

Produced by NOVA