The Snare of Comparison

The Snare of Comparison

Don’t get caught in the snare of comparison.

I know you know.

I know I know.

I do it anyway. It’s not that hard to not compare myself to celebrities or social influencers. But I do compare myself to my ideals: All. The. Time.

I have high expectations for myself. I think I can actually rise at 5:00 am, exercise for 30 minutes, read inspirational literature, plan a delightful morning of learning for my children where no one will whine or complain, keep the counters clear of clutter, wash all the clothes and dishes, manage the dog’s ins and outs all the ding-danged day, use my gentlest voice when annoyed, take people to soccer/ballet/piano practice, bathe EVERYONE, prepare healthy meals (and delightful treats), and still learn to play the guitar!

At least that’s what I thought my life was supposed to look like when I first got started with home education.

It simply can’t be done! I added up all the minutes of what I was supposed to be able to do and discovered: not possible.

  • Exercise: 30
  • Self-care reading: 15
  • Planning meals: 15
  • Housekeeping: 60
  • Child activities out of the house: 90
  • Bathing five kids: 60
  • Guitar practice: 30

Five hours without even accounting for home education!

I was comparing myself to a fantasy life that was not (is not) even possible!

That’s when I realized: I can only do some of the very good things each day. Not all of them. There are some days that housekeeping is neglected. I could exercise every other day. 15 minutes of guitar had to be enough. Maybe we could carpool for sports. Perhaps some days were for meal planning and others for learning to read.

The truth is: the snare of comparison for me is the aspiration to be an impossible version of myself!

The remedy?

Do your own brutal assessment of how much time you think you have versus how much you actually have. It’s such a life-saver to discover that you are terrible at time estimation and not a flawed human.

Love you. Exactly as you are.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

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