Podcast: Don’t Overthink It
As parents and caregivers, we all care so much about giving our kids the best possible:
- and experiences.
We’ve probably even spent an inordinate amount of time diving into books, podcasts, consulting with others, and other ways of learning what we think we need to know in order to be good parents. But what if all of that ends up backfiring? What if we end up killing our children by caring?
In this Brave Writer podcast episode, I share how caring less might end up being the best thing you can do for your child – and yourself.
As a parent, we hold onto these hopes and dreams for our children – and the child may not have those same dreams. This leads to a power imbalance where parents are trying to force kids to fit into a vision of life that they are resisting.
What’s a parent to do? Stop caring about their child’s future? Well, in a way… yes. My chief advice to parents in this instance is to care less.
Despite how the word makes things look, it isn’t actually careless to care less about what our child does or how they perform. The more you care, the less the kids have to. When a parent is highly invested in their child’s success, the child won’t put in as much energy because they don’t have to! In fact, they quickly learn that they can be resistant and still wind up at the destination the parent has in mind. That child ends up balancing the power dynamic by exerting that power and control with willful resistance.
When our vision for our children is to be world-changers, we will naturally put a lot of pressure on them to care. What if we shift the focus away from what we expect on our kids and instead focus on bringing the wide world to them?
- Allowing them to meet a diversity of people,
- giving them cross-cultural experiences,
- helping them experience astronomy, mathematics, and engineering.
When we focus on bringing the wide world to them we allow them to become who they are meant to be – rather than imposing on them who we want them to be.
We are all growing alongside our children. Don’t overthink things. Just learn, grow, share, and trust.
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Tags: Julie Pep Talks