Should fictional stories always have happy endings? Why or why not.
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Image by Shawn Campbell (cc cropped, tinted)
Archive for February, 2015
Conversations in the Car Count
You’re driving along discussing how far the sun is from the earth when one of your kids wants to know if the song on the radio is by OneRepublic, another one asks if you can stop by the store to get a starfruit because she heard about it from a book she’s reading, and then another one declares that he knows a shortcut home. The toddler takes this opportunity to throw his pacifier to the floor, and the nine year old steps on it while trying to pick it up. Of course.
In the span of fifteen minutes, you’ve covered all kinds of interesting information, as well as heard snippets of what is filling your kids’ heads all day.
Count it all.
Write it down.
It’s okay that you have incomplete discussions. You’ll circle back to them over time. Remind yourself that conversation is the homeschool equivalent of a classroom lecture.
Conversations are often best had in a car, anyway. It’s when you’re all trapped in one space and talking is the main thing that can be done in that space. Use it well!
Some Ideas
- Pose a provocative question: “How many basketballs could we fit in that semi?” Brainstorm ideas, take guesses, figure it out when you get home.
- Talk about the lyrics of a song.
- Comment on the birds on the telephone wire, wondering which ones they are.
- Ask about a game recently played or a book being read.
Talk in the car! Count it. So much good education happens, literally, along the way.
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First 5 minute freewrite!
Hi Julie,
Above is Garrett’s first 5 minute free write!
This is his descriptive paragraph. He dictated and I typed. These are his words.
I just can’t get over it! Really. I am jaw dropped! These were both done willingly and with excitement! I just can’t say thank you enough.
This has really been an eye opening experience for me. This had taught me I was stifling my son not his ADHD. That is a hard pill to swallow as I tried for 3 years to get a particular writing program to work when it just was not a fit for us.
Now he is writing because my thought process changed.
Thank you
Jen
Image (cc)
Poetry Teatime: The show must go on!
Poetry Tea Time Tuesday. There isn’t one place in my house that doesn’t need picked up, scrubbed, or sand blasted, but my baby boy asked if it was Tuesday yet, so the show must go on.
In lieu of Shel Silverstein today, Goodnight Moon is the theme. I’ve had a really crappy past 2 days so I’m going to post some “happy fluff” OK? Plus, you can’t bicker with your siblings if your face is stuffed with Moon Pies, eh?
So, I’m feeding this crew moon things. Mush like in the book (grits), nighty night tea, circle crackers with circle cheese, Oreo Moon Phases, boiled eggs, grapes, marshmallow “moon rocks,” pepperoni slices, and moon pies!
Oh, and there are helium balloons! Yippee.
Next week we’ll be back to tea and toast. Ha!
Much Love, Shawna
Image (cc)
Stick Up for Yourself Inside
15+ years ago, I started an online discussion board for (mostly) homeschool mom friends called The Trapdoor Society. The concept was this: Because our days were filled with small children and home-keeping demands, we needed an escape—a trapdoor through which we could pursue our own self-education: art, literature, film, politics, religion, poetry, and more. We’d be friendly and supportive when we disagreed and we’d help each other expand our worlds together…
In other words, Internet Utopia.
In other words, good luck with that.
We did become incredible friends (there are still about 40 of us in touch today). But those friendships also survived some truly painful clashes of personality, belief systems, emotional meltdowns, and even a version of trolling (though that word didn’t exist back then). I remember spending hours crafting response posts in my head when I felt maligned or judged or misunderstood.
Underneath that surface reason, though, was an invisible-to-me-at-the-time one. Fear. I didn’t want to be wrong. I didn’t want to be misunderstood. I didn’t want to have made an irrevocable choice.
When criticism came my way, I wanted to fight back—to not take it. I fought back on the outside.
If I could get everyone out there to agree that I was okay, then I would finally allow myself to feel okay in here.
The benefit of aging is the increasing awareness that it is nigh to impossible to get all the people out there to all agree that you are perfectly wonderful as you are. (I know, I’ve tried.) No one likes you enough to do that for you. They’re all too busy trying to get you to tell them that they are okay, as they are.
One of the reasons it’s tough to hear our kids tell us that some of our choices were painful to them is that we especially want their approval—after all, we are “sacrificing” careers, manicures, a good tennis game, grad school, hobbies, and beautifully decorated homes to ensure they have the best possible childhoods. How they can’t know that, can’t see that, can’t forgive us for our foibles is incomprehensible.
The only way out is inner confidence—to firm up your shaky insides with your resilient belief that you are conscientious, intentional, and sincere. These three qualities won’t prevent mistakes or over-reach. They won’t guarantee romanticized notions of success. But they can be the firm base from which you continue to grow, revise, and expand your life’s vision.
If you resist the temptation to defend yourself to others, but instead, take any criticism or disagreement as a chance to revisit your personal creed and practice, you will slowly but surely see that you are, in fact, that worthwhile person you wish others could see. You’ll know it from the inside—that your choices and your vision are perfectly valid for you.
Meanwhile, rather than eviscerate your persecutors with better arguments or lengthy diatribes, go soft on the outside.
It is often the perfect response to children—respond in the opposite spirit. They come with anger and force, you respond with internal strength and gentle words: “I hear you. That sounds awful. I want better for you.”
Strong on the inside, soft on the outside.
Stick up for yourself to yourself.
Trust—you don’t know the outcome of this grand risky experiment. The only way forward is one day at a time, with your conscientiousness, sincerity, and intentionality to guide you.
