January 2008 - Page 3 of 3 - A Brave Writer's Life in Brief A Brave Writer's Life in Brief
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A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

Thoughts from my home to yours

Archive for January, 2008

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Clear the coffee table

Once in a while I like to remind moms to “clear the coffee table.” What I mean is that you should clear off a space that is taken for granted in your house and put something out that is surprising, new, novel or has been overlooked for a long time. Perhaps there’s a bucket of Legos that has gathered dust in the basement. Bring it upstairs! Maybe you have a collection of art postcards that you haven’t thumbed through for awhile. Scatter those over the coffee table.

Poetry books, decks of cards, the game mancala, paintbrushes and watercolor paints, new pencils, note cards, disposable cameras, a birding field guide, binoculars, chess or checkers, a mini white board and markers, bean bags, beads and wire to make bracelets, an assortment of shells and fossils, teatime essentials (like mugs, teabags, a muffin mix and poetry), picture books from the library, jacks, back issues of National Geographic from the library, a new DVD… any of these can spark a train of activity that leads to learning.

If you notice that the morning habits have become dull, “clear the coffee table” (or whatever space you can dedicate) and set out some new items to stimulate your kids (and yourself). Would love to know how it all worked out!

Posted in Brave Writer Philosophy, General, Homeschool Advice | 2 Comments »

The Friday Freewrite is back!

I’m sure you missed it. 🙂

This week’s freewriting topic is: Write about an obnoxious kid you once knew.

Posted in Friday Freewrite, General | Comments Off on The Friday Freewrite is back!

Put Fun on the Schedule—for YOU!

Put Fun on the Schedule

You’ve got to love homeschooling parents. They love what they do—this second shot at education, this all-day-long pursuit of good stories, in-depth investigation, and honing children’s talents.

They are also a hyper-responsible bunch. Tell homeschoolers that they must log 180 hours for math and, by golly, they’ll start tallying on the blackboard, right down to the quarter hour. Suggest that grammar ought to be covered every year and they’ll research programs to purchase while giving up meat for a month to pay for them.

All this commitment and devotion can lead to the disappearing act many parents perform equally well. While they are becoming (in the eyes and minds of their friends) “homeschoolers,” their children simply see devotion, passion, and care directed toward them. In other words, kids don’t know that a homeschooling parent’s primary hobby, career, and joy is homeschooling. It appears to them that all of this is done on their behalf, not for the nurturing of a parent’s identity, ego, or talents.

Which brings me to the point of this entry. Of course we love to homeschool or we wouldn’t do it. Still, education of our children is intended to lead somewhere. What life are you leading that is the exciting, expanded, enticing life of an adult that your children will look forward to attaining purely based on observing your varied and stimulating experiences? When your kids see you, do they see someone who has found their groove, who has outlets, hobbies, and interests of their own?

In other words, are YOU having any fun?

Last night I spent the evening with a local chapter of our homeschooling network. I shared about getting out of the mid-winter blues, about the power of taking time for yourself, of living your own learning journey in front of your kids. I also mentioned, because it seemed like a good idea at the time, that parents deserve to have a little fun of their own. Then I put out a tray of interesting objects: a blue candle, a floral teacup, a ball of rubber bands, an eraser, a paint brush, a fossil, a salt shaker, knitting, a chocolate bar, and red nail polish.

I asked the moms at the meeting to freewrite about the night’s conversation in light of the objects they selected. The hostess wrote such a wonderful piece, I asked her if I could share it with you. She chose the red nail polish and I think gets to the heart of what I was hoping to convey last night:

Red nail polish—my favorite!

I keep thinking I will paint my nails red, but then I never do! I don’t sit down and take time to do the thing I really want to do. So true on so many fronts. I fill myself up with “have to’s” and “need to’s.” Oh I try to snatch a little guilty pleasure here and there, but only in snippets and never truly satisfying.

Nothing so obvious as sitting down, putting on glasses, taking the time to color within the lines – and fix it as necessary. And red is so obvious that if I did, it would be a bold admission of time deliberately spent on something that makes me happy.

So what other guilty pleasures do I keep putting off? It’s not that I think they’re wrong, but I just don’t ever let myself get around to them. (Debbie Yurchak)

So go do something for yourself today, okay?


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Posted in Homeschool Advice, On Being a Mother | 4 Comments »

A Brave New Year

It’s time to return to blogging after my couple of weeks off. They were very good weeks and thank you for letting me take them! Noah (20) and Johannah (18) were home for Christmas. Noah spent a week with us and Johannah a whopping 3 and a half weeks! We played games (lots to share there in the upcoming weeks), we drank hot chocolate, we laughed, we watched TV, we went ice skating, we stayed up late talking. I enjoyed and savored every day.

However, I discovered while enjoying and savoring that my creative energy is utterly depleted. I collapsed many times on the couch loathe to get up again. I avoided the computer and left my desk a mess. In short: I’m in serious need of a recharge.

I feel a little like an out of date cell phone whose charger got lost and now only gets recharged in teaspoon sized bursts while driving in the car. My recharging usually consists of minutes here and there on the run, not a quality pause in the midst of a busy life. That means I can sustain a creative charge for, oh, say, a day and then I’m all out of juice again.

I haven’t had a good long drink of quiet, nurturing or rest in a good long time. As Christmas break unfolded, I unraveled. I sat in front of the fire, I knitted yet another scarf (I only knit scarves because any other pattern becomes stress-filled stitch-counting rather than the soothing, rhythmic, mindless clicking of needles), I watched Top Design and reruns of Friends, I made and ate good food, I put whipped cream on every hot drink, I cuddled kids and took our dog for walks, I fed our birds and ignored the mess in the basement.

Each time I walked by my office, my chest tightened. I know you want me to do taxes and make decisions, to answer email and to plan classes. Just not now. Just a little more time off, please.

One way I seriously recharged was to get out of the house and into nature. Liam and I signed up for the Audubon Society’s Christmas Bird Count. On Sunday morning, December 30th, Liam and I got up dark and early. We clunked around the kitchen making tea with milk and pouring it into a thermos. We assembled turkey sandwiches, trail mix bars and clementine oranges into our mini picnic tote. Then with two pair of binoculars and extra layers of clothing, we headed into the still black morning and drove 25 miles to the Cincinnati Nature Center.

We met other binocular clad counters. Liam and I were happily assigned to a group of all novices led by one expert (and I mean expert). This guy not only could replicate the calls of numerous birds, he could recognize them from below, by ear, by flock and wing beats. One time we thought we heard a red-tailed hawk when he changed his mind and stated, “Nope. That’s a blue-jay imitating a red-tailed hawk. They get close, but their pitch is off.” Oh. My. Goodness. Yeah, I’m more the kind of birder that says, “Hey! There’s a cardinal. I can see it right there sitting perfectly still and it’s all red.”

Anyway, we tromped through endless mud and dead leaves already composting into mulch, up hill and over dale. What struck me about the experience was how quiet it was. Bob, trustee expert birder, told us that bird watching is really more “bird listening.” And it was true. We hardly talked at all. Most of the time we stood very still waiting… hoping for some movement, some flutter of leaves or swish of brush.

And I loved it. The quiet reminded me of the library, yet it was outdoors where my lungs filled with yogic breaths of air. Therapeutic. Even after three hours of rubber legs, frozen finger tips and growling stomach, I didn’t want to quit. It felt really good to focus all my energy and attention on one little tiny thing: counting birds in the bush. I wonder if this is how golf feels for executives.

We returned to the center to eat lunch and many cheerful birders welcomed us. It might be difficult to appreciate just how odd it feels for me (who lives in her head of ideas and virtuality) to be in a room of people who enjoy conversations about numbers, biological components, ecology, and international tourism that takes travelers to car camping in Kenya as opposed to pensions in Florence.

Liam and I returned in the evening for the final count which included all the birds of our region. We laughed every time the room gasped when a count was exceptionally high: 3,743 robins or disastrously low: 0 kildeer (the room exhaled a mournful sigh realizing that the kildeer had not survived suburbanization of the farmlands since not one has been sighted for the last six years).

It occurred to me that mothers especially give, give, give until they are all given out. We take mini-breaks (drink a cup of tea, read a novel in the car while waiting for ballet practice to end, stand in the shower for twenty minutes instead of fifteen, watch a TV show while emptying the dishwasher). How often do we really stop the world and get off for several hours, for a week, for a month?

Nature and birds took me away from the world of words that I inhabit and allowed me space to be. Family gave me the hugs, love and validation that comes from connectedness rather than performance. Christmas injected “the special” into what had been an ordinary fall.

I hope you too find a way to recharge as we head into winter. I’m ready to be back. Peace and wonderful birds to you.

Posted in Family Notes, General | 4 Comments »

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