Tia Levings was trapped in a high-control religion, experiencing church-sanctioned domestic abuse at the hands of her husband. Her only relief was the Trapdoor Society online message boards where she could discuss big ideas about education and human development.
Years later, she barely escaped with her and her kids’ lives.
Tia joins us today on the Brave Writer podcast for an emotional, deeply meaningful episode where we discuss our intertwined stories and her new memoir, A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy.
Show Notes
Fundamentalism
In Tia’s words, “Fundamentalist thinking is anytime you have a promise that has a formula attached to it, that if you do these steps, you will definitely get this result.” In her particular fundamentalist group, the Quiverfull movement, the formula was complete authority of husbands and strict obedience by wives and children. The promised result was the happiness that comes from living the way God intended.
Tia identifies this fundamentalism throughout the US government and culture, noting that its goal is to impose this formula on all Americans.
She also cautions against fundamentalism of any kind. The lived experience is so diverse and nuanced that people must be able to experiment with what works best for them. She encourages parents and educational thought leaders to keep that front and center in their discussions.
Healing
Upon escape, part of Tia’s healing journey was writing this book. What started out as a therapy journal became a draft of a novel, and then over a decade slowly became a memoir. By the time Tia recorded the audiobook version she finally felt the story was outside of her, that she didn’t have to carry it any more.
Today, Tia practices regulating her nervous system, particularly around feeling rushed. Abusers often pressure their victims to match a certain timeline, rushing them into doing things they aren’t ready or willing to do. That’s why Tia now prioritizes building a life that resists urgency– a new kind of commitment.
You can buy Tia’s memoir here.
On the back cover, you’ll find praise from Julie:
“With unflinching honesty and relentless self-reflection, Levings’ debut memoir is a portrait in courage. Levings pulls back the curtain on the degraded, carefully lived spiritual life she chose for herself against her better interests. Anyone who has suffered from abuse or an attempt to fit into a spiritual community will recognize her self-abandonment in service of idealism. In the end, Levings saves herself through an equally dedicated commitment to her truth and well-being, at great risk to herself. A well-trained wife serves as the cautionary tale about the power of control and the harm inherent in authoritarian groups, particularly those who claim to speak for God.”
Resources
- Start a free trial of CTCmath.com to try the math program that’s sure to grab and keep your child’s attention.
- Don’t miss Fall Class Registration. Full class descriptions here.
- Check out the Brave Writer Book Shop for Tia’s book and all other books mentioned on our podcast
- Learn more at TiaLevings.com
- Follow Tia on Instagram: @tialevings
- Subscribe to Tia’s Substack, “The AntiFundamentalist”
- Watch “Shiny Happy People” on Amazon Prime
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- Send us podcast topic ideas by texting us: +1 (833) 947-3684
Connect with Julie
- Instagram: @juliebravewriter
- Threads: @juliebravewriter
- Twitter: @bravewriter
- Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter
Connect with Melissa
- Website: melissawiley.com
- Substack: melissawiley.substack.com
- Instagram: @melissawileybooks
- Twitter: @melissawiley
Produced by NOVA Media
