A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

If you have a great day, the temptation is to believe that you should only ever have great days. What makes a day great, however, is the fact that it gets compared to the garden variety days and wins! One key to a better experience of your life is to not overvalue the great days or undervalue the garden variety ones.

It’s not possible to have all great days as a homeschooler. Each time we have a great day, though, it’s as if the bar gets raised and suddenly they all need to be great.

Great days exist in contrast to our garden variety, every day days. That’s what makes them great. You only need a handful a year!

Oh and I should tell you: there will be some really, really rotten days.

They pass too!

So the rule of thumb is: garden variety days punctuated by great days (hurray!) and occasionally ruined by rotten ones. Rinse and repeat. That’s homeschool… it’s also life.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account
so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

I don’t know about you, but I almost always think I can “plan my stress away.” I’ll make a better schedule, I’ll create a list, I’ll prepare my room or desk.

But what I’ve found over the years is that DIVING in and DOING something is what cures it.

Sure, planning has value. But don’t imagine that the planning relieves the worry or anxiety. It’s when you simply do the thing—whatever that thing is.

Here’s the Kicker:

It COUNTS whether you planned it or not!

If you are stuck, stuck, stuck and worried out the wazoo, DO something. Engage your body. Even little stuff like counting the stairs on your staircase with a 7 year old counts! Pointing out capital letters in the read aloud COUNTS! Rhyming silly words over lunch counts.

Randomly observing that your child skillfully used an adjective (“Hey, “stupendous” is an adjective and you used it in a sentence perfectly!“) counts!

More Ideas:

• Read a poem
• Write on a mirror with lipstick
• Count spoons
• Notice all the rectangles in the room
• Build a LEGO set
• Look up a historical fact
• Act out a scene from a fairytale
• Bake muffins
• Find the Latin names for birds
• Spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

So repeat after me…

The cure is action!

Then you can “plan from behind”—jot down what you DID in a planner and you’ll start to build momentum in your homeschool.

You don’t owe anyone a perfect performance as a parent, educator, or person.

Exhale. Long, slow, complete.

The stress you feel is not always yours. It’s pressure from outside introjected inside.

You have the same right as anyone else to:

• Take a risk
• Try a thing
• Make a mistake
• Change your mind
• Do something else
• Disappoint someone
• Forget to follow through
• Lose your way
• Overthink
• Worry
• Have dreams and wishes
• Revise a belief
• Speak up
• Say no
• Say I don’t know

You’re learning how to be an educator, parent, and adult all at once. Of course you don’t know what you’re doing yet.

You’ll make mistakes, you’ll stumble on genius, you’ll be bored, you’ll be amazed.

All of it counts.

Some home educators believe (whether true or not) that kids in school are basically learning independently. School kids get themselves to and from class, jot down the homework assignment, complete the work often without assistance, and return that work to school.

Homeschool parents wish their children would get their work done without:

• help,
• reminders,
• cajoling.

And yet: school kids are not independent learners. They are performing a set of tasks determined by the teacher, with due dates and clear instructions. School kids learn how to follow instructions and perform the assigned tasks on their own. I call this: “Doing schoolwork alone.”

Independent learning is something else!

The independent learner takes initiative to learn what is important to them. The independent learner finds resources to support learning: asks for help, conducts research, tries and fails, complains to an empathetic listener, suggests alternative methods for learning, and may want companionship just for the support it offers.

A child who can “do schoolwork alone” is not necessarily learning independently. Rather that child is good at cooperation or obedience without help.

Independent learning means caring about what you are learning and then:

• gathering resources,
• asking questions,
• knowing when you need support,
• trying, failing,
• taking breaks and trying again.

The power of home education.

Being good at “doing schoolwork alone” is especially painful for homeschooled kids. They don’t even get to go to school for a break from all that alone schoolwork. Independent learning can be a joyful experience of companionship and adventure!

So remember: there’s a difference between independent learning and “doing schoolwork by yourself.” Independent learning means taking the initiative to teach yourself what you want to learn but does not mean you always have to learn alone.