What Closeness Looks Like

What Closeness Looks Like

This is what closeness looks like. Father and son, reading side-by-side, sharing silent, yet companionable time each week. I chatted with the dad as I was leaving. He said Friday morning Starbucks is his son’s favorite time of the week. We chuckled about how books have become tablets. His son got animated at that point. They were darling!

Not all communication needs to be verbal or facing each other. A mix of shared space in comfortable quiet + eye contact and conversation makes for a healthy, free relationship.

I was with my dad recently and thought about our relationship when I was young. I remember his sharing the newspaper with me over breakfast. I remember side by side TV viewing (sports!). I remember the thrill of shopping alone with him (our own outing). We had conversations too. But what made life easy around my dad was that I felt no pressure to perform or prove anything or to fill the space with words. Talk? Or not talk? All the same to him.

Those minutes add up to a felt memory of who your parent is. If you find conversation challenging or wonder what to say, start side-by-side. Build a little cache of shared, peaceful, no pressure space. You may be surprised at how close you feel to your child.

One interesting sidenote: I notice that my person (Jim) is that kind of person for me now. I’m such a talker, and it feels so nice to have one quiet, peace-filled relationship where I get to show up without words or pressure to entertain. A gift.

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

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