May 2013 - Page 3 of 6 - A Brave Writer's Life in Brief A Brave Writer's Life in Brief
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A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

Thoughts from my home to yours

Archive for May, 2013

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An apologetic for teatime

Poetry Teatime

We joke that poetry teatimes are the ‘gateway drug’ to Brave Writer. They’re the lure, the enticement of all we’re about. And they’re free—no product purchase necessary.

You can read the details of how to hold a poetry teatime here.

But let’s look at why it works and what it does in your family, if you’ll just give it a go (even if right now, you think you hate poetry).

Here’s what happens when you take an hour a week to read poetry and drink beverages in tea cups or mugs with a few sweet treats for munchies.

EVERYONE stops.

Everyone. The whole bunch of you gather and every person is equally important to the teatime—baby, toddler, little kidlet, middler, teen, parent. It’s a moment in the day where the whole gang comes together.

Everyone STOPS.

The workbooks, the calculator, the DVD instructions, the playing with toys, the reading to oneself, the “moving a load of laundry from one machine to the other.” It all comes to a halt.

READING begins.

Poetry books are passed around the table. The readers, read. Long poems, short verses, paired-reading poetry, recited tongue twisters and limericks. Everyone reads—at whatever level they can—the exact poems they want to read. This is not “drumming out a few pages to prove you can read” reading, but a joyful dive into material selected by oneself to share with others!

Reading BEGINS.

Even non-readers read. They hunt for clues on the page that tell them that this poem, this verse is worth hearing. They look at fonts, and pictures, and words they recognize and they make good guesses—”Hey! I think I’d like hearing that poem.” They pass the book to a neighboring, willing reader and almost always want to follow along. Their selection is being read! They picked it! Reading is elevated to a goal, to a sacred practice, to being as cool as the big kids, to “I can almost read because I picked that poem!”

POETRY connects.

Poetry is a stealth writing form. It sneaks in through the backdoor and jumps you when you don’t expect it. T. S. Eliot says that poetry is “a raid on the inarticulate.” Rhymes, riddles, verse, ballads, sonnets, villanelles —whether you “get” the poem or not, there are words for pleasure and pondering, tickling and testing in your mouth. Laughter and puzzlement are part of poetry. Poems enrich vocabulary, imagery, and the pairing of unlikely ideas… which gets a writer’s juices going! Poetry says “Come out and play with me.”

Poetry CONNECTS.

A poem in your pocket, or shared over a bagel, or savored later in the day, once you take time to reread it, is like opening a love letter. There’s a little thrill—What will this set of words show me today that I never thought of before? Next week, and the next, you’ll notice favorite poems recycle and certain poetic forms revisited. Slowly, your family creates a shared poetic language that is uniquely yours. It’s different than story—poetry spans the ages more readily, and more quickly.

TEA and TREATS are enjoyed.

Or the beverage of your choice or your kids’ choice. Hydration (we forget to drink enough already, which causes headaches and crankiness), the soothing ritual of tea (blowing the steam off, slowing down to sip, adding milk, sugar, or honey, stirring and tinkling the cup), tipping a teapot and being careful not to spill…. rituals that alter the rush and race of life.

Also, sweet snacks, like brownies or scones or muffins or cookies or sliced cinnamon-sugar oranges or apple crescents or bunches of grapes, equal ‘happy’ smack dab in the middle of the day. The boost of sweet, the chance to munch, the shared pleasure of rare treats guarantees pleasant attitudes.

Poetry teatimes SHIFT your priorities.

When learning shows up as pleasurable and free, undistracted and rich, it’s harder to go back to dead forms of education. Other ideas to enliven the tedious or difficult subjects will dawn on you, as you move toward connection over completion.

So find a poem, put the kettle on, lay out a few Oreos on a small plate, and get started. You can add a flower arrangement and table cloth next week. Just jump in.

Life gets better with poetry and tea.

Visit our Poetry Teatime website!

Posted in Poetry Teatime | Comments Off on An apologetic for teatime

How you say it is everything

How you say it is everythingWhen I speak at conferences, I like to talk about how to gain the goodwill of your children as you embark on the revision process. Here’s a snippet of what I share.

Remember when you went into labor (or if you adopted kids, remember the stories your mother and friends have told you)? Usually there’s quite a bit of emotion, physical pain, anxiety, and apprehension.

What if your husband or partner joined you during labor and said the following in a “take charge” (perhaps even coercive or condescending voice)?

“Sweetheart, I know this is scary and hard, but you have got to get a grip! Millions of women for thousands of years have given birth to babies. You’re no different. Now you get in there and have that baby. I don’t want to hear another word of complaint from you. I’ve got things to do and when I come back, I expect that baby to be here. Now get going.”

How would you feel? Would you be planning a call to the lawyer? Considering ways to short sheet the bed?

What if, instead, you heard these words, delivered in a sympathetic voice?

“Sweetheart, I know this is scary and hard. I see you are in pain. Millions of women for thousands of years have given birth to babies. They have all felt like you do right now. The baby will come. All you have to do is trust the process. I’ll be here, right by your side, holding your hand when it gets tough, distracting you when it helps. And I promise, at the end of this arduous process, there will be a baby so precious to us we’ll both declare that it was all worth it. No matter what, I’m here to support you.”

Which one do you want at your bedside? Husband A or Husband B?

Which type of parent do you think your children want when they embark on a writing project?

“Kids everywhere have to write and they all complain about it. That’s no excuse. I have things to do. Now you get in there and write three sentences. They had better be written by the time I get back! I don’t care that you hate writing. You just have to do it.”

or

“Kids everywhere have struggled to put pen to paper while thinking of things to write. You are just like them. It’s okay. I’ll be here with you, holding your hand, helping you think about what to say, how to say it, and reminding you of what you want to write so that you can get your wonderful thoughts out onto the page. We’ll do as much as we can today and take it up again tomorrow. I’m here to help. At the end, the writing product will be so worth it. You’ll see.”

Remember: don’t minimize pain or misinterpret it as laziness. Usually, the dawdling and whinging (love that word) is more about a lack of support in the process. Remind your child that the pain they feel is legitimate and natural, and that there are ways through the jungle to the other side. You are their companion for the journey, have tips and tricks to help, and that you don’t mind at all.

That’s a great place to start.

Image by wolfgangfoto

Posted in Brave Writer Lifestyle, Homeschool Advice | Comments Off on How you say it is everything

Friday Freewrite: Gossip

two young girls laughing behind another girls backImage by Inf-Lite Teacher

Has anyone ever talked about you behind your back? Or have you done that to someone else? Write about it.

New to freewriting? Check out our online guide.

Posted in Friday Freewrite | Comments Off on Friday Freewrite: Gossip

Pick one thing

oneImage by andrechinn

You can’t do ten things, and your homeschool won’t transform itself over night.

What you want and what creates momentum is a series of deliberate, prepared choices that lead to a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. You get there one thing at a time.

Pick the subject, practice, habit, or attitude you wish were more present in your home and “do it” or “have it” or “develop it.”

Identify the One Thing that is top of mind—that keeps coming back to you as the one thing you wish you were living.

Then follow the One Thing principles:

1. Prepare (ahead of time). Plan a date, purchase, make copies, organize, think about, read literature related to your one thing choice. Gather materials.

2. Execute (day of). Follow through with enough time to invest deeply without distraction. Turn off your phone, shut down your computer, don’t answer the door. Be fully present.

3. Enjoy (kids and you). Let yourself forget everything else but that experience/lesson. Be here now. Don’t do other things simultaneously, don’t think ahead to what you will do next. Engage.

4. Reminisce (later that day or the next or next week). Talk about what was fun, remember humor, honor connections, recollect what went well. Talk about when you might do it again.

I gave a podcast about this topic a few months ago. Check it out.

Posted in Homeschool Advice, One Thing | Comments Off on Pick one thing

What are they doing now: Liam

LiamJulieAirport
May 15, 2013. Today’s featured Bogart is Liam! He’s my 18 yos, 4th child.

Liam read the earliest of any of the five kids (age 6). I found out he knew how to read when he came into the bedroom one night and spelled, “Gap: g-a-p.” Apparently the source of this amazing revelation was the Gap shopping bag sitting in the hall… for weeks.

Liam taught himself times tables and percentage calculations through online gaming. He had a knack for math for which his father nor I take credit.

We spent most of Liam’s homeschool youth reading about, observing, and owning animals. He attended the Cincinnati zoo programs, we literally visited the zoo multiple times a month for a couple of years, we owned pet rats, two ferrets, and a dog because Liam researched, located, and promised to love and raise them. He is still my main birding partner. We not only watched them at our feeder, but we joined in the Nationwide Christmas Count one year too, joining other local birders. We rescued an injured sparrow and a disease ridden cat, taking them where they could be treated and healed.

I learned to play Yugi-Oh cards so Liam would have a partner, and I read Redwall aloud because Liam loved the books. You should know something about me at this point: I am not naturally interested in animals, pets, or card games where the cards feature characters with special powers. And I’m ashamed to admit that my mind wanders during outloud readings of Redwall.

But that didn’t stop us, and honestly, I have such fond memories of all of these experiences despite my own reluctance, self-doubt, and concern for carpet and furniture.

While reading, calculating, and animal-loving came naturally to Liam, he had difficulty with handwriting. He’s a lefty and we discovered that he suffered from dysgraphia by the age of 9. At that point, we stopped all handwriting and he dictated to me whatever it was he wanted to write or narrate. He did continue a bit with handwriting pages. It wasn’t until he turned 12 that we turned to tutoring with a specialist.

As a freshman in high school, Liam took two classes at the local public school and the rest at home. He then completed high school fulltime in 2 1/2 years, finishing this last January. Liam would say that traditional style education isn’t for him. He much prefers reading whatever he likes and self-educating. Currently he’s got quite a book list going that he reads on his tablet.

One benefit to traditional schooling for Liam, though, was that he joined their chess team. By his senior year, he was “first board” and their team had a great season. I was the only mom who attended the tournaments and watched the games. A little like watching grass grow, if grass jumped four squares and crushed the queen blade.

Liam will travel to Europe for a month. He’s been working at Steak and Shake, and saving money so he can visit his brother (studying in Paris), many of his online friends, and my aunt, uncle, and cousins who live in cities like Copenhagen, Berlin, Prague, Zagreb, and Viareggio.

He isn’t sure what his plans are for the fall, but he’s 18. He’s got loads of time to figure it all out. Just glad he got done with high school early enough to have an adventure.

Posted in Family Notes, Julie's Life | 1 Comment »

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