When phone calls dominate the day I escape to the patio to finish working. My own private teatime.
–julie
Image (cc)
Use writing in your lives
I had a question about what program I would recommend to a child who has recently come out of school and is dysgraphic and a perfectionist. Of course, my first thought is to scrap programs. This kid needs a zoo pass and Legos!
What to do about writing, though. He is struggling and fears it. Of course! We all avoid those skill areas where we are weakest.
To start changing the narrative around writing in your family, even before you buy Jot it Down or Partnership Writing, make writing more interesting, more useful, more fun right now in your home.
- Put Post It Notes all over the bedroom door of your child. Fill them with comments about his or her strengths, jokes, silly word pairs, brief memories of their exploits, hints about the fun you will have at winter break, questions of the universe (“Who am I and why am I here?” “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”), aphorisms… You decide. Put these Post-its all over the door after the child is asleep and see when he or she finally notices them. You might leave a stack of Post Its and a pen somewhere nearby. See if the child reciprocates. Some will.
- Use lipstick to leave love notes on the bathroom mirror for your kids.
- Create a treasure hunt—that rhymes! Send your kids hunting for some treat with clues you design. Then later, ask them to make one for you (on your birthday!).
- Tape words to items in the house—any words. See who notices first.
- Play with refrigerator magnets.
- Mail letters to your kids. Text your kids. Facebook chat with your kids. Even when you are all sitting in the same room (hilarity will ensue!).
- Write margin notes in the books they are about to read—like, “This was my favorite part” and “I can’t believe she did that, can you?” and “When you get to this section, come to me. We must discuss.”
- Leave notes in a teenager’s car with cash: “Here’s three bucks for a hamburger! Enjoy.”
USE writing in natural, life-affirming ways. See how it changes the feel of writing in your home.
Go for it! Now Today! It’s far more likely you will grow writers if you live like this than if you tirelessly work on paragraphs. Paragraphs will come, once everyone is friends with writing.
Student Spotlight: Eleanor Nash
Congrats to Brave Writer Eleanor Nash for being published in The Kansas City Star! She writes:
I took Brave Writer’s High School Writing Project class this spring, and in the class I wrote an essay. I submitted the essay to my city’s newspaper and this Wednesday it was printed.
Thank you for the writing help,
Eleanor Nash
Here’s the opening of Eleanor’s article:
The Internet can bring teens together
By ELEANOR NASH Special to The Star
09/23/2014
Scrolling a while back through the comments on BuzzFeed’s “26 Reasons Why 2014 Has Already Been The Worst Year Ever For Teens,” I came across this statement: “Just another list among many of why this generation sucks and will probably be the downfall of the USA.”
Such comments are not unusual. Teenagers are often portrayed in the media as wild, hopeless, dumb, doomed, uncontrollable and overall a disgrace to their elders.
But this attitude is nothing new…
Read the rest here.
Way to go, Eleanor! We’re so proud of you and all our Brave Writer students!
Image @ The Kansas City Star
Friday Freewrite: Colors
For each family member, pick a color that represents him or her. Explain your choices.
New to freewriting? Check out our online guide.
Image by Dominique Godbout (cc)
Care Less
I don’t mean to be “careless,” but rather, to “care less” (two words). In other words, can you lean back, figuratively put yourself on a porch swing and let your feet dangle as you glide back and forth, not a care in the world—while you homeschool?
Can you relax your jaw, lighten your tone, notice the puffy clouds floating by?
We are so invested in how our kids respond to what we offer them, and how we guide them, that sometimes we jinx the outcome! They stiffen or put up their defenses to avoid having to live up to our expectations.
Think about it: Have you ever felt pressured to like a certain meal someone made for you, or felt you were going to owe such a big show of gratitude for a favor done, you almost wished the person had just not “helped” you?
This may be your kids! It’s tough to know on some intuitive level that my mom’s happiness is contingent on how well I enjoy the lesson, or book, or curricula, or activity, or field trip. The part of us that wants to have our own original experience resists/balks at the pressure to make the “giving person” feel good.
You know what I am talking about—think of your mother or father-in-law or next door neighbor who stands back waiting to be thanked. How do you feel about the service rendered? A little resentful?
Kids have big emotions. They need room to feel and express. It’s never about you—these reactions to books or lessons or strategies for learning. How can it be…really? Who doesn’t want to be loved by a parent, to feel the parent’s approval?
Yet they resist what we offer them when two things happen:
- They feel they owe you more than they will get out of it for themselves.
- They feel nervous that they can’t live up to your expectations.
So care less. Unschoolers use a term called “strewing” – the strategic placing of unattended items in the way of a learner—allowing a child to explore the item or book or movie or game—unattended, independently, privately.
Other ideas:
- Do the activity, workbook, lesson, game without the kids, without announcement. Get involved by yourself, in front of them, without a word.
- Ask your child for help—in any arena. Does this sound like a good program to you? If you could be in charge today, what would we be doing?
- Openly judge flops with a sense of humor. “That collection of manipulatives must have been created by someone with 12 fingers!”
If the house is filled with tension, try one of these:
- Disappear. Go into the other room and read a book or page through a catalog, or make yourself a snack.
- Grab a blanket and curl up on the couch and doze.
- Head outdoors (put the baby in the backpack). Walk, exercise.
Do not judge a day or week or month gone wrong. Care less. You have tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow. All you have is time. Take the time you need, trust the process, care less about the minutia of today.
