A Brave Writer's Life in Brief

One of the most frequent questions I get about the “one thing” philosophy or the “flexible routine” is wondering how to get everything done. If we focus deeply on, say, art for several weeks, what happens to math? If we take our time planning a vegetable garden and then put in hours of planting and tending, are we neglecting reading aloud and history? The idea that you could get an education focusing on one thing at a time feels risky to most of us, particularly if we are being haunted by that familiar ghost of public school past. She’s the one that nags reminds you: There are seven subjects to cover in a day by 2:30 p.m., Missy!

The hardest part of adopting any philosophy is the emotional hurdle (letting go of the familiar to take on the new). One way to lower the anxiety associated with trying something new is to understand the philosophy a bit better first. So let’s tackle that now.

Think about life as an adult versus life as a student. Remember leaving high school or college? How did you feel about reading books? Did you want to dive right into medieval lit or tackle another business theory? Probably not. Exhaustion from juggling so many class lectures, ideas, tests, papers leads to a complete break from “studies” in any kind of formal sense. After a period of recovery (sometimes as long as a decade for some people), you found yourself curious about… something. Maybe it was quilting or photography, perhaps it was politics or business, or maybe you joined an adult soccer league or pilates class. The point is, when you found yourself attracted to an area of interest, you pursued it because… you were attracted to it.

Over time, these areas of interest led you into others. The freedom to think and do and be what you want is intoxicating and produces the best conditions for learning. You find yourself motivated by your own hunger, not by someone controlling what you do. And in fact, there is brain research that supports your adult style of learning. Apparently our brains do best when we have the opportunity to focus intently, allowing the greatest interconnection of ideas to occur simultaneously (what you already know relating to what you are now learning) and sequentially (how one thing leads to another).

As we look at our depth of learning as adults, the model doesn’t have to be so different for children. The biggest difference between us and them can be boiled down to several things:

1) Kids need to gather the skills to learn (reading, writing, computer literacy and basic math do provide the right foundation). That’s worth working on.

2) Kids need to know what’s out there that might interest them. They don’t have as much life experience as you do so they don’t know what could interest them without exposure to a wide array of activities, ideas and resources. Your primary job is to enhance their exposure to the wonderful feast that life is.

3) Kids need money. You are the adult with money. Their newly cultivated interests require lessons or museum visits or books or art supplies or tutors or DVDs or binoculars or cameras or musical instruments or ballet shoes or Vogue magazine subscriptions. Be sure to provide these. If you don’t have money, barter, swap, trade. Do what it takes to make it happen. (Two of my kids have run cookie businesses that have paid for Space Camp, all Apple products, wardrobes and music lessons.)

4) Kids need time. They learn best when they have time. That means creating space in your life for uninterrupted work. If that means investing hours in practicing soccer dribbling, then it does mean that some days. Think about how you learn. You can’t master quilting by working at it in 45 minute chunks. Too much work setting up the sewing machine, ironing board, etc. Kids need to know they have the morning to build the huge Lego castle or to rehearse a scene they want to perform or to hike to see birds in the canyon.

5) Kids need chauffeurs. You can provide rides. So do that for them.

6) Kids need your help and enthusiasm. When they work hard, they hit snags. They will need you to reread the instructions or find out a softer reed for the woodwind or to get a different coach or to help them stick with something when it gets hard. They need your praise, support, happiness and pride in their efforts. They also need partners (someone to play Pokemon cards or to help direct the scene or to practice throwing the Frisbee with).

If you support depth learning (while also facilitating growth in the basics – writing, reading, computing and math skills), your kids will gradually gain momentum and will discover a fascinating web of relationships between what they care about and what they develop a taste for because of the way the two overlap. So, for instance, my 17 year old loves music (passionate about classical music of all kinds). That love has led the way to care about historical, philosophical and theological issues that were related to his classical music interest. Likewise, my son who is passionate about Warcraft online has learned typing, spelling and map reading/creating through that game.

Not any one subject has to teach it all, either. A passionate period of devotion to World War 2 will eventually give way to another area of interest (Greek mythology or bread baking). Mine the interest while it’s compelling, notice the interconnections, foster them. Then allow the next one to emerge.

The discussion of how to create a flexible routine as well as how to create a home context conducive to nurturing relationships prompts me to revisit a plank of the Brave Writer philosophy:

The One Thing Principle.

Some of you already know it well. Others of you are new to Brave Writer so this will help you begin to shift the paradigm from which you teach and guide your kids. Remember: we are home educators. We are not recreating school. One of the biggest advantages to being at home is the ability to go in-depth when studying or pursuing an interest. This is the key principle to help you do just that guilt free. Enjoy!

When was the last time you really tasted the food you ate? If you’re like me and millions of moms, you wolf down your meals in an attempt to clean your plate before someone in the family needs seconds, needs a face-wiped, needs to be breastfed, needs you on the phone.

It’s easy to run through the homeschool day the same way – Everyone’s doing math. Good. In just ten minutes I’ll get the older two started on spelling. While they’re spelling, I’ll read with the eight-year-old and nurse the baby. Then I’ll make lunch and think about which creative project will go with the history novel.

As you race along, you might even have the strange feeling of not having done anything worthwhile, even though you are exhausted and have been pushing the family at breakneck speed. There’s a sense in which we “hover” above our lives rather than living right inside them when we’re filled with obligations, good ideas, lots of children and the endless demands of email and phone calls that intrude on our best plans.

We also feel pressure—pressure to complete assignments, books, courses, and projects, and worry that we won’t have done enough of any of it. So even a completed project or worksheet or novel is not relished because we think about all the things we haven’t done yet instead. What an awful trap!

To stop the madness, you have to change how you see the way you spend time.

I like to tell Brave Writer moms to savor experiences
and learning opportunities rather than rushing through them.

As much as I have emphasized the need to slow down, moms continued to feel they weren’t doing enough. That’s when it dawned on me that we needed to refine what it means to “slow down.”

The solution? The “One Thing Principle.”

Ask yourself: What would happen if you only did one thing well tomorrow? What if you focused all your energy and attention on one important idea/activity/project/math concept or novel?

For instance, what if you set up the conditions to enjoy reading one Shakespeare story by Leon Garfield? You could pick the story the night before. You could look over the difficult to pronounce names and try saying them. You could find a passage for copywork to be used later in the week. You could google a few facts about the Bard and print them out to read over breakfast. You might print out a story synopsis to help you answer questions if your kids get confused while you are reading.

Let’s look at what happens the next day if you really were to focus on One Thing. Here’s what you will do:

The next morning, toast some English muffins, serve with black tea, and set them on the kitchen table. While everyone is slurping their tea and putting in too many teaspoons of sugar, read the story aloud, sharing the gorgeous illustrations as you read. Then ask everyone to pronounce the names after you, and pause to laugh at Shakespeare’s sense of humor. Explain a few of his obscure word choices, and make a little diagram of how the characters are related to each other. At the end, read the interesting fact sheet about old Will and marvel at his accomplishments.

When you’re finished reading, savoring, drinking tea and eating muffins, when you have understood the story and have thought about who Shakespeare is, when each child has had a chance to talk about the story if he or she wants to, you close up shop and turn on the TV for a sitcom. Or perhaps you take a walk or play outside, or do some email while your kids jump on the couch like a trampoline.

Then a little later at lunch time, reminisce about the story and why it was so enjoyable. See what part of the story everyone thought was sad, or funny, or creative. Suggest ordering the film version on Netflix or acting out one scene or comparing this story (orally) to one of Shakespeare’s other plays you’ve read/seen before. Make the most of this rich experience before rushing off to the next one.

As a mother, take time to actually enjoy the story. It’s fine that you enjoy your children’s joy, but it’s even more important that you find yourself focused on the story, its language, the creativity of it, the timelessness of the ideas. You must discipline yourself to not think about the unpaid bills, the dinging bell of new email, the ring of the phone or the tug of unfolded laundry. You must not worry that math is not being studied or that your youngest still can’t read.

It is time for Shakespeare and that’s it. When you have enjoyed and relished Shakespeare, you may then go on to one more thing.

Follow the same process for another homeschool experience you want to have but put off or don’t enjoy or feel you’ve neglected.

Take time to prepare, to execute, to enjoy
and to remember before hurrying off to the next one.

If you build positive experiences around copywork, dictation, Shakespeare, poetry, writing, reading, observing, narrating, conversing, acting, nature, art and more, slowly, over time, one at a time, without feeling you are getting behind, you will naturally build momentum in your homeschool. You’ll discover that you do more things that nourish your family and will revisit the ones that are especially rewarding.

More importantly, your kids will learn to trust you. They’ll believe that you have rich experiences prepared for them that are worth doing. Think about that. Isn’t our biggest struggle “getting our kids to do what they should”? What if they knew that if you said, “Let’s do _______ today” their reaction would be: “That will be fun!” (or interesting or worth doing)? Wouldn’t that make a world of difference?

Here are the One Thing principles to remember:

1. Prepare (ahead of time). Plan a date, purchase, make copies, organize, think about.
2. Execute (day of). Follow through with enough time to invest deeply without distraction.
3. Enjoy (kids and you). Let yourself forget everything else but that experience/lesson. Be here now.
4. Reminisce (later that day or the next). Talk about what was fun, remember humor, honor connections.

You can follow the one thing principle for any lesson, topic, activity or idea. Overlapping between subject matter happens naturally when you invest this way. Subjects you didn’t even intend to cover are a part of deep investment in any topic. Allow yourself to trust the process. Start with One Thing (the one thing you are dying to do with your kids but keep putting off). Make your plan today!