Archive for the ‘Family Notes’ Category

What are they doing now: Caitrin

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April 25, 2013.  My youngest, Caitrin, is 16 and finishing her junior year of high school. She had the least formal home instruction of any of our children. She read late (9+) but she’s an avid reader now, she didn’t like workbooks much, she followed her interests with zeal (took violin, took sewing classes, read the Harry Potter series over a dozen times, watched her favorite movies over and over, became vegan and a well educated one—who can cook!, studied New Testament Greek, studied fashion and created a 365 daily fashion blog for a year, read feminist non-fiction titles all through junior high and is a well-versed feminist now, learned to ski, played soccer, painted, did copywork every single day, avoided math, never did science…).

She’s our wordiest child (started speaking so young, I forgot to write down her first word, for which she has not yet forgiven me).

Today, she’s in high school. She attended fulltime high school as a freshman—we tossed her into the local public school. That decision was fabulous for her, though intimidating at first. She was ready for the structure of school, loved the challenge of homework (she’s still the only kid I know who does extra math problems for homework, gets her papers written days ahead so she can revise them before the due dates), and was keen to be a part of a group—some kind of extracurricular activity with peers.

She found it. The biggest benefit to high school for Caitrin has been participating in the Guard (Sabers, Rifles, and Flags). She’s loved being a part of a team, and working toward a goal. I’ve seen her thrive.

Just a couple days ago, Caitrin made a great comment about homeschooling. She said she’s realized that the main thing she got from her home education is a craving to learn. She told me that she measures herself by how much she’s learned, not by grades, not by meeting requirements. She knows that’s different than many of her peers and she credits homeschool with that quality.

Her goal is to go to Ohio State University to double major in French and Korean, with a minor in linguistics.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being Caitrin’s mother during her high school years. We’re having a great time. (And I still get to edit all her papers.)

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The Quest for Tea

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I’m forever in search of the perfect cup of tea.

I woke up thinking about how when we were poor, living in a cramped condo with two babies and three kids, I bought Lipton tea bags. They were inexpensive and I drank pots of tea each day, even though I had already experienced *real tea* and sadly, Lipton was not it.

My British midwife introduced me to tea during my first pregnancy. I lived in Morocco at the time. Each month, I drove an hour and a half to visit my midwife in the country’s capital for my check up. On the second visit, she offered me a cup of tea.

I gave her a quizzical look and said, “Ann, you know I can’t drink caffeine. I’m pregnant!”

Ann countered in her clipped English accent: “Julie, you don’t really think that British women give up tea, just because they’re pregnant! Sit down. Have a biscuit.” Then she poured the best tasting cup I had ever had.

I haven’t looked back.

I’ve drunk tea through all my pregnancies, while nursing, traveling, moving, working, homeschooling, and each morning of my life since.

I now invest in PG tips (I rationalize the expense, saying that since I don’t smoke, I can afford outrageously priced tea leaves). I get the triangle bags because they ensure better water flow, so I’ve been told.

I’ve owned Brown Bettys (squat clay teapots made in Britain) and I’ve used the Pfaltzgraff Yorktowne crockery teapot and mugs, happily, accidentally discovered and secured for $5.00 at a garage sale. Each purchase—I declare an improved tea experience!

I use a tea cozy to keep the pot warm. I warm the mugs with a swish of hot water to ensure proper heat to receive the tea.

Yet as I’ve lamented before, I never quite replicate the taste of tea I enjoy when I visit an authentic tearoom, or worse, when I sit in the kitchen of a British friend who unfussily pours me perfectly steeped, deep brown tea from an old pot in a cracked mug.

The next step will be investing in an electric kettle, for surely that is the missing element.

I don’t know why I felt like sharing about tea this morning. It’s just here, staring at me, like the old companion it is.

We have snow flurries in Cincinnati on the second day of spring. I’m thinking about my basketball brackets and my son in Paris and my daughter in New York and my three other kids local and busy with their grown-up lives… and remembering when I woke up with a cup of tea and our read aloud book in hand. I’d sit in the rocker and they’d be on the floor or strewn on the couch ready to listen.

Tea and read alouds—that’s how our days together began.

Now they read on their own… and drink tea, too—and share their love of both with the people in their lives. Tea and books—the grand connection point.

Cheers!

Posted in Brave Writer Lifestyle, Family Notes, Poetry Teatime | 1 Comment »

Extra-ordinary kids!

DSCN1199.JPG Caitrin and best friend Sarah with handmade lanterns for their Japanese tea party.

Have you read the book about the homeschooled kids who built a canoe in the basement, whittling the wood from felled trees? Or what about the teens who figured out how to cross breed fish in their creek, or built eco-friendly low-cost dwellings in their backyard as practice for working with Habitat for Humanity?

I remember reading about a kid who played with blocks as a child but then went on to write symphonies in college, after mastering the violin, and learning to conduct a symphony. Somehow these were related.

Then there are the kids who’ve read all of the classics and have taught themselves Latin and/or Greek. Others have performed on a Broadway stage, joined a prestigious ballet company, or have tried out to be Olympic athletes. All homeschooled.

Other impressive homeschoolers got into Harvard, or wrote best selling fiction (The Inheritance Series, anyone?), or worked as interns at the state government house!

Meanwhile, you’ve got runny noses, a daughter whose handwriting resembles scrawl, and a son whose main ambition seems to be punching pixels on a screen by thumping a button on a controller. You can’t imagine that your kids, your garden variety kids, will ever be so extraordinary. You feel mildly guilty about that. (I know I did.)

Perhaps your homeschooled children seem “extra” “ordinary” – as in “more ordinary than usual” – to you!

I found myself inspired and discouraged at the same time when I’d read about successful older homeschooled kids. I couldn’t see how my brood would ever get there.

First of all, we were appallingly bad at science (so scratch cross-breeding and habitat building). We had so many kids, I couldn’t imagine being able to afford supporting a lifetime habit of acting or ballet or singing or violin or lacrosse or gymnastics, let alone accommodating all those rehearsal/practice schedules!

And as far as boat-building in basements—I was lucky if we could find the basement floor, let alone make space to build in it.

Yet I plugged away with our books and our homeschool parties, our math pages and our co-op, committed to what I could do—how I could make my home a place where creativity had a chance to flourish, and where ambitions were accommodated as best as we could.

I couldn’t see the seeds being planted. I couldn’t know how they’d take root.

I wasn’t privy to how my children processed our experiences together, and how these memories became anchors of insight that led my kids to aspire to and achieve some of the amazing things they’ve now done. I never saw most of it coming. Truly.

On this side of homeschooling, I want to encourage you not to worry about the outcomes. The smallest acts of enthusiasm, support, and opportunity lead to big choices down the road. Your job isn’t to think of the great things your kids can do or should be doing some day.

Your job is to make sure that today, they have something interesting:

to read,
think about,
observe,
and enjoy.

Or as Charlotte Mason says, ” “Something to love, something to do, and something to think about.”

Find that sweet spot each day, no matter how briefly visited. These collect into a childhood of impressions that shape how they will choose to spend their teen years and eventually, their adulthood. They don’t have to “change the world” or impress anyone. All they need is the freedom to keep making choices that enhance their enthusiasm for being contributing people—human beings who want to share who they are with others using their unique constellation of gifts and passions.

That’s it.

You can do that.

You already are.

Posted in Brave Writer Lifestyle, Brave Writer Philosophy, Family Notes, Homeschool Advice | 3 Comments »