My daughters and I held our first Tuesday Teatime today. They were so excited even though they really weren’t sure what it would involve. Indiana, age five, and Austin, age three, took turns picking poems for me to read based on the titles and pictures. It lasted for about eight minutes, but was definitely worth it. The build up and cake making were all part of the experience. We are all looking forward to next Tuesday!
Thank you,
Brittany
Image by stewartde
Each of us has one: the fantasy homeschool that lives inside our heads. I asked convention attendees one time to shout out words they associated with their fantasy homeschools. They suggested words like:
relaxed
creative
laughter
curiosity
real learning
family connection
activities that teach
going new places
trying new things
organized
books everywhere
You might have other words in mind. Some of mine were:
natural
includes nature and art study
lessons for things like violin, vintage dance, and acting Shakespeare
learning astronomy
everyone reads for pleasure
we all get along
days have order but aren’t so structured that we feel oppressed
Flesh out in your own mind (perhaps on paper) the fantasy homeschool you want to have. You might envision how your family feels about homeschool first and then discover that you also have specific scenarios playing in you mind’s eye. For instance, you might want relaxed, happy family interactions, and you also see everyone on the couch cuddling while watching a movie.
You might imagine children eagerly solving their own problems as they face a math challenge or reading for pleasure hours a day.
Perhaps you have a fantasy that a whole week will go by and no one will complain because everyone feels that he or she has had a satisfying week of play and work.
We can’t force our children to be happy and we can’t require them to eagerly learn anything (frustrating, isn’t it?). But what we can do is create a context that gives our fantasy homeschool the best chance to emerge and flourish. Practice this summer, when the pressure is off and you don’t need to “finish” anything.
For instance, when you see your children happy, take note of the conditions that created it. Were they well rested and fed? Were they in comfortable clothes? Were they engaged with something new? Look at all the factors.
Consider how you might ensure the success of one of your fantasies. If you want to introduce art, would it be better to introduce it with an outing or with tools (like paints and brushes or clay)? If you would love your children to explore nature, what conditions create the happiest campers? Snacks, early morning, good night’s sleep preceding, stuff to track or look for on the trail?
Use this summer to test-float your aspirations. Find out what happens when you play with math manipulatives and no textbook. What happens when you take time to read to yourself each day after lunch? Does anyone join you?
Go to the art museum without an agenda. Go to the movies in the afternoon. Is that fun? Wouldn’t that be great to do once in a while when it’s not summer?
If you want your fantasies to come true, take it a step at a time and live them out. Summer is a great time to play with what works since most of us are habituated from school to think that we can relax and not worry about “schoolish things.” You can flip the script and use summer to explore what kind of homeschool you really want to live.
Take risks.
Be intuitive.
Focus on joy and exploration.
Be good to you too. Your happiness matters just as much as your kids’.
Cross-posted on facebook.
Image by Steve Snodgrass
Write about an experience at an amusement park!
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Image by Beth Scupham
Years ago on a planet called California, on a too-busy day with messes accumulating like tangles in a toddler’s hair, I let fly my scolding voice in front of my mother. I aimed my angry zingers at the child who spoke the best English, despite the fact that the up-ended half gallon of juice had been the result of a still wobbly, not-yet-speaking 12 month old grabbing for a table leg to steady himself. The precarious carton slipped over the edge and doused the tan carpet in orange.
I had been lecturing about pairs of shoes that needed to be Out. Of. The. Hallway. I’d been pointing and directing other short people to pick up Legos and get teeth brushed.
The quickly expanding circle of orange stain flipped my switch and I found myself screaming: “I said now!”
My mom, grandmother of the hapless human beings startled into cooperation, quietly observed the scene to me: “Just look at them. They’ve been on the planet fewer than five years. There is so much to learn about living here.”
Crash. Shut down. Reboot.
I’m the adult in the room, I reminded myself.
I’m the one with experience.
I’ve lived on our spinning orb for decades.
Even today, when a 20-something forgets to double check or doesn’t know to follow through or get more information or is surprised by an interruption to plans carefully made, I go back to my mom’s comments. 20 years is a very short time to figure out all the stuff adults are expected to know, do, and be.
A little grace for the newbies on planet earth may be in order today. A little grace for you—newbie to parenting on this glorious good globe.
Cross-posted on facebook.
Instead of: You keep misspelling that same word, even though I’ve corrected it for you many times. You need to pay better attention and get it right.
This–>I’ve noticed this word causes you some spelling difficulty on your first pass. Have you noticed that? Do you catch it in editing? How can you help yourself remember it? I know for me, I rely on spell check, sometimes I ask my second reader to double check the specific word for me, sometimes I figure out which of my hard words repeat in the piece I’m about to write and I make a list ahead of time to consult.
Instead of: We have to get this done.
This–>I’m feeling pressure for us to finish this (page, project, copywork passage, exercise, paper) because (we have to turn it in at co-op, I want to move to the next project, we’ve worked on it a long time and I can feel our energy waning, we need to finish the book). How can we find a way to get this project completed by (next Tuesday, after lunch, before we go to Chicago for the weekend)? Ideas?
Instead of: You have to learn to care about your school work. I can’t be chasing you down to be sure you complete your assignments. It’s up to you to be more independent or you will not succeed in (college, the work force, someone else’s class, high school, as a human being).
This–>I’ve noticed that you aren’t keeping up with the schedule we agreed to for X subject. Wanted to point that out to you. Is there a way I can support you in completing your work in a timely way? Is there a reason you find it difficult to finish or sustain interest? Here’s what I can provide, here’s what needs to come from you. I won’t nag you, though. The final outcome will be determined by your efforts…and the help you would like from me that you articulate.
Instead of: Stop being so silly. This is school.
This–>**tickle tickle** **Jump on the trampoline** Okay, let’s get all the sillies out of our system and then we can buckle down for X minutes and then it’s lunch and we’ll be home free. Ready, set, go!
Instead of: No.
This–>Hmmm. Interesting. How might that happen?
Or this–>Cool! Can we do it after X?
Or this–>That doesn’t sound (safe, possible, affordable), but is there a way we can do a version of it that would be?
Instead of: Not now.
This–>Yes! Let’s ditch what our original plan was and do it right this minute!
Instead of: YELLING
This–>I feel like yelling right now, so I’m going to (step into the bathroom, drink a cup of tea, take a five minute walk, nurse the baby) while I think about what I really want to say.
Cross-posted on facebook. Image by Steve Johnson
