[Podcast #316] When Your Middlers Lack Interest
What do we do when our tweens and teens don’t seem “into” anything?
In this Brave Writer podcast episode, we explore how to revive interest, curiosity, and motivation in the middle school years—without forcing artificial enthusiasm.
We talk about:
- why middlers may seem disengaged,
- how risk and adventure replace the “magic” of early childhood learning,
- and how deep dives, conversation, boredom, and flexibility can open doors to authentic passion.
We also share practical scripts, examples from our own families, and tools for nurturing critical thinking and connection.
Show Notes
Middle school can feel like unfamiliar territory for many homeschoolers. The cozy magic that carried us through the elementary years suddenly seems mismatched to our tweens, who often appear restless, bored, or unsure about what interests them. As academic expectations rise, we may feel pressure to keep everything moving forward, even when our kids seem to stall. But the middle years are ripe with possibility if we’re willing to rethink how learning works.
Risk and Adventure Replace Early-Education Magic
One thing we’ve noticed is that the enchantment of the early years often comes from surprise and mystery: the twinkle lights, the themed read-alouds, the cozy writing moments. But tweens and teens are wired for something different. They’re ready for risk and adventure. Not necessarily cliff jumping or grand excursions—though sometimes that too—but the intellectual and emotional risks that come with forming opinions, exploring new worlds, and stepping outside familiar perspectives.
Rather than expecting them to declare a clear passion, we make space for them to discover one. For many kids, interest begins quietly. It emerges through consumption—books, films, fandoms, video games, music—long before it shows up as creative output. We sometimes forget that mastering a subject begins with taking in mountains of input. College students and graduate-level scholars spend years consuming before producing original work. When our middlers are devouring books or revisiting a favorite hobby, they are building vocabulary, context, and insight that later become the foundation of mature thinking.
Conversation as a Catalyst for Understanding
We also find that conversation fuels understanding. When we listen, truly listen, to our kids talk about what they love, they refine their ideas in real time. Some families build this into group activities like movie nights or book clubs; others find it easier to talk through a WhatsApp thread or emails with grandparents. However it happens, the back-and-forth deepens thinking and strengthens connection.
But sometimes, before interest emerges, there’s boredom. In a world full of instant entertainment, boredom can feel like a problem. But it’s actually the fertile soil of creativity. When we carve out device-free space and keep enticing materials accessible—binoculars, art supplies, maps, kitchen tools—we give our kids the freedom to wander mentally and physically. That meandering often leads to unexpected discoveries. The child who seems apathetic one week may suddenly be whittling wood, researching constellations, or organizing a geocaching route the next.
Inviting Kids Into the Process
The secret is transparency. Instead of changing course quietly, we invite our kids into the process: “I’ve noticed we’re all feeling a little stuck. I’d love to experiment with giving ourselves some free space every day to explore ideas or interests. It might feel boring at first, but I think something good could come out of it.” When we model curiosity and honesty, our kids feel respected and more willing to take their own risks.
The Power of the Middle School Transition
Middle school isn’t a dead zone of interest. It’s a transition zone. A place where kids shed childhood patterns and begin shaping who they are. When we provide spaciousness, conversation, and gentle encouragement, we help them step into the adventurous, risk-taking thinkers they’re becoming. And along the way, we rediscover a little of our own curiosity, too.
Resources
- Listen to our interview with Chris Balme, and find his book Challenge Accepted: 50 Adventures to Make Middle School Awesome in the Brave Writer Book Shop
- Brave Writer class registration is open!
- Visit Julie’s Substack to find her special podcast for kids (and a lot more!)
- Purchase Julie’s new book, Help! My Kid Hates Writing
- Find community at Brave Learner Home
- Learn more about the Brave Writer Literature & Mechanics programs
- Start a free trial of CTCmath.com to try the math program that’s sure to grab and keep your child’s attention
- Subscribe to Julie’s Substack newsletters, Brave Learning with Julie Bogart and Julie Off Topic, and Melissa’s Catalog of Enthusiasms
- Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
- Send us podcast topic ideas by texting us: +1 (833) 947-3684
Connect with Julie
- Instagram: @juliebravewriter
- Threads: @juliebravewriter
- Bluesky: @bravewriter.com
- Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter
Connect with Melissa
- Bluesky: @melissawiley.bsky.social
- Website: melissawiley.com
- Substack: melissawiley.substack.com
- Instagram: @melissawileybooks
Produced by NOVA
Planning for After the Holidays?
While you take a holiday break from homeschooling, your mind may wander to new education ideas for January.
You might:
- mull over a unit study approach for weather while you sip mulled wine.
- wrestle with whether to switch math programs while you slap, smack, and knead the sweet roll dough.
- wonder as you wander through a neighborhood of lights whether you should try that co-op even though you hate driving anywhere in the winter.
Be present for the holiday cheer, but allow your mind to take some of those flights of fancy. It’s OK to try something new in the new year and for it to even fail. You’re learning as much about learning as your kids are. That’s just all part of the ordinary natural process of being a home educating parent.
Also: take some time off from wondering as well. Be present to the giftgiving and the yummy foods and the board games and the puzzles
Rooting for you!
This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!
A-Z Guide to Literary Devices
Brave Writer’s A–Z Guide to Literary Devices teaches kids to spot and use the tools authors rely on, with simple explanations, example passages from books they love, playful “Try it!” writing prompts, and a Literary Life Log to track discoveries.
If your kids have ever:
- pictured a vivid world while reading . . .
- felt a poem hum like music . . .
- watched a character change and grow . . .
. . . they’ve already experienced literary devices in action—whether they knew it or not!
The A–Z Guide to Literary Devices helps your family make sense of those sparks of literary magic.
What’s Inside the A–Z Guide?
This guide is both comprehensive and kid-friendly—an engaging companion to our literature guides!
You’ll find:
- Easy-to-understand definitions for common (and some uncommon) literary devices
- Passage examples from beloved books (many of them from our Literature Singles)
- Try It! prompts to help your kids use each device in tiny writing bursts
Use it as a reference on the fly—or settle in and explore one device at a time. There’s no right way to use it. It grows with your family.
[Podcast #315] The 8 Stages of Homeschooling
How do we move from “I think I want to homeschool” to “We’ve created an education that fits us”?
In this Brave Writer podcast episode, we walk through the eight natural stages homeschool parents experience, from jumping in without a clue, to swapping curriculum in search of the “perfect” program, to finally trusting ourselves and embracing “us schooling.”
We share real stories from our own homeschools, talk about ideological pressure from methods and social media, and offer practical ideas for planning from behind and building a routine you can bend without breaking.
Tune in to discover your stage and what might come next, and then join us to share where you are in your journey!
Show Notes
The longer we homeschool, the more we realize that we’re not just teaching our kids—we’re growing up as educators right alongside them. No one hands us a diploma that says “qualified homeschool parent.” Instead, we move through a series of stages, slowly gaining confidence in our ability to craft an education that fits our families.
Getting Started: Jumping In
Many of us start with a rush of enthusiasm. We catch a glimpse of what home education could be—through a book, a podcast, an Instagram account, or the chaos of online schooling—and we jump in. We buy the books, order the curriculum, and suddenly our children are looking at us like, “Okay, how does this work?” That feeling of being underprepared is not a sign you’re failing; it’s often the first stage of growth.
Recreating What We Know
From there, it’s natural to “play school.” We recreate the classroom we remember: bulletin boards, workbooks lined up in magazine files, color-coded schedules. We’re trying to make learning look official, because that’s what we know. Over time, though, we notice a gap between the tidy plan and the messy reality of family life. Someone melts down, someone’s sick, someone’s building an elaborate Lego world during read-aloud time—and, secretly, we’d rather join them than fight it.
Exploring Methods
That’s when we often discover methods. Charlotte Mason, unschooling, classical education, Montessori, Waldorf—each offers a philosophy that promises deeper learning. We read books like The Well-Trained Mind and John Holt’s Learning All the Time. We join communities and try on new language: living books, strewing, narration, nature study, project-based learning. This can feel like getting a personal master’s degree in education. At the same time, the pressure to “do it right” according to a method can be intense. It’s easy to believe that if we just followed the rules more faithfully, everything would finally run smoothly.
Curriculum Swapping and Second-Guessing
When the method stops working—or doesn’t fit every child—many of us slide into the curriculum-swapping stage. We collect programs the way other people collect hobby supplies. A shiny new resource appears on social media and we wonder, “Am I shortchanging my kids if we don’t use that too?” Underneath all the second-guessing is fear: fear that there is a secret right answer out there, and we haven’t found it yet.
Building Confidence Over Time
What gradually changes is not our children or the market of materials, but us. After enough experiments, we start to notice patterns. We:
- see which routines hold us together and which expectations always backfire,
- pay attention to how each child learns best,
- and begin to trust that a consistent, flexible rhythm—a shared read-aloud, some language arts, a bit of math, space for science, history, and play—can carry more weight than any single book or program.
Seeing Growth Through Planning From Behind
We also discover the power of “planning from behind.” When we chronicle what actually happens in a notebook or blog rather than obsessing over undone plans, we start to see growth that would otherwise be invisible. A struggle that felt overwhelming in October has quietly eased by April. A child who once resisted writing is now creating comics or stories for fun. Those realizations build our confidence more than any external approval ever could.
Arriving at Us Schooling
Eventually, we arrive at a place we might call “us schooling.” We’re no longer trying to fit someone else’s mold. Instead, we’ve pieced together an education that reflects our family’s values, capacities, quirks, and dreams. It’s not perfect. There are still hard days and unfinished assignments. But there is a growing sense of calm: we know our kids, we know ourselves, and we trust the learning that unfolds in the middle of real life.
Wherever you are on this continuum—jumping in, swapping curriculum, or quietly owning your “us school”—you’re not behind. You’re in process. And that process is exactly how you become the educator your children need.
Resources
- Read Julie’s post on this topic here: Brave Writer Podcast: Natural Stages of Growth as a Home Educator – A Brave Writer’s Life in Brief
- Natural Stages of Growth in Writing
- Visit the Brave Writer Book Shop
- Brave Writer class registration is open!
- Visit Julie’s Substack to find her special podcast for kids (and a lot more!)
- Purchase Julie’s new book, Help! My Kid Hates Writing
- Brave Learner Home
- Learn more about the Brave Writer Literature & Mechanics programs
- Start a free trial of CTCmath.com to try the math program that’s sure to grab and keep your child’s attention
- Subscribe to Julie’s Substack newsletters, Brave Learning with Julie Bogart and Julie Off Topic, and Melissa’s Catalog of Enthusiasms
- Sign up for our Text Message Pod Ring to get podcast updates and more!
- Send us podcast topic ideas by texting us: +1 (833) 947-3684
Connect with Julie
- Instagram: @juliebravewriter
- Threads: @juliebravewriter
- Bluesky: @bravewriter.com
- Facebook: facebook.com/bravewriter
Connect with Melissa
- Bluesky: @melissawiley.bsky.social
- Website: melissawiley.com
- Substack: melissawiley.substack.com
- Instagram: @melissawileybooks
Produced by NOVA
Brave Learning: Homeschooling and the Holidays
Recently on Brave Learning…
We’ve been talking about homeschooling through the holidays on Substack!
- 10 Ways to Take Advantage of the Holidays: The holidays are upon us. The tendency is to brace oneself for the onslaught of spending, relatives, too much food, and the pressure to make “perfect memories for the children.” Pause. Appreciate the good you’ve already got going.
- Squeeze Writing into the Holidays: There are so many ways to make writing a natural part of life, but holidays take it up a notch! Here are six tips.
- When They Don’t Get It: All fall, you’ve blissfully gone along planning your days, teaching your children, enjoying the closeness of family learning unaware that anyone outside your four walls would suspect you of inflicting harm or undermining your children’s social skills or academic prowess.
- All They Want for the Holidays: Homeschooling parents are devoted beyond measure. We stay home year round to be with our kids. We do it out of love, out of a commitment to excellence, and relationship. Still, sometimes that commitment looks more like habit and a battle of the wills than the joy of interaction.
Subscribe to Brave Learning on Substack where we chat, discuss, problem-solve, and create together. Here’s what you can expect: weekly themed content, freewriting prompts, and a podcast for kiddos called Monday Morning Meeting (first 6 are free)!
