Could amusement be the antidote to weariness?
I don’t know the evidence-based answer to that question. But does it matter if we know for sure? It’s worth the experiment!
If burnout can be caused by chronic exposure to emotionally draining environments, then flip it. Fill your cup with some fun!
So have an “Amusement Day!”
Literally, put amusement on your calendar if you need to.
It’s Okay to Have Fun
Are We Having Fun Yet?
Put Fun on the Schedule—for YOU!
The internet has been a great tool for creating community. It has given us ways to connect, commiserate, and even start entrepreneurial adventures. In the 90s, we were just figuring out blogs and message boards. Now, there is TikTok, Instagram, and going viral.
Founder of Scary Mommy and She’s Got Issues, Jill Smokler joins us to talk about how being a parent on the internet has changed, and stayed the same, over the years. We talk about our experiences with figuring out what stories to share about our kids, and which to keep private.
We also talk about:
Tune in to the Brave Writer podcast and enjoy the conversation.
Choosing What to Share on the Internet
In the 90s, it was much easier to be anonymous on the internet. In fact, anonymous confessions catapulted Jill Smokler’s Scary Mommy website to fame. Now, true internet anonymity is much harder to achieve, making privacy more precious than ever. As parents, especially parents who write public works, we need to think carefully about what we share about our kids’ lives, and seek their affirmative consent.
Being an Entrepreneur
Although Jill knew pretty early on that Scary Mommy could be profitable, it took years for it to bring in significant money. Julie experienced the same with Brave Writer. Our advice? When starting an entrepreneurial endeavor, be realistic about how much time it may take to start making more than a supplemental income. Also, build a team of support– this will help prevent burnout so you can stick around to see the full fruits of your labor.
Parenting Adult Children
As parents of adult children, we know that “it gets easier” does not necessarily apply to parenting. Although we now end up with more time to ourselves, we still worry about our grown children. Plus, our worries get multiplied by spouses and grandchildren. If you find yourself struggling with this stage of parenting, don’t worry, you definitely are not alone.
The internet may change, but the fundamentals of community stays the same: Share your authentic self, support others and ask for support, and be mindful about sharing stories that are not solely your own.
More About Jill
Jill Smokler is a New York Times bestselling author and entrepreneur who became an authentic voice for millions of imperfect moms through her Webby award winning blog, Scary Mommy. Launched in 2008, Scary Mommy began as a chronicle of Jill’s stay-at-home days with her children and quickly transformed into a vibrant community of women brought together by a common theme — parenting doesn’t have to be perfect.
Over the next eight years, without advertising dollars and on a shoestring budget, Jill and her team provided the destination for high quality, humorous, sharable parenting content. In 2015 with millions of followers, three books and the top parenting site in the country, Jill became the first “mommy blogger” to sell her brand to a media company. After three years acting as Chief Content Officer, Jill departed in 2018. Following a much needed break, Jill returns with She’s Got Issues – a brand for Gen X women focusing on the myriad issues uniting them.
Connect with Julie
Connect with Melissa
Produced by NOVA Media
Wordplay is a great way to make grammar concepts stick!
When two words team up to create one, you’ve got a compound word. And compound words offer a lively opportunity for active wordplay.
This activity is from the Arrow (ages 11-12) for the book It Ain’t So Awful, Falafel by Firoozeh Dumas.
Encourage your kids to combine an everyday noun with a food item, then let your imaginations soar!
EVERYDAY OBJECTS
mail
cat
glass
book
daisy
poodle
wool
chair
keyboard
straw
pencil
desk
FOODS
pizza
steak
mozzarella
anchovy
artichoke
onion
banana
kiwi
popsicle
lemonade
granola
cookie
Print this chart and cut out the words or write them on index cards for easier mixing and matching.
How would it feel to receive pizza mail? Is kiwi-wool green yarn or a sign of mold?
One person acts out the word (charades-style) while the others try to guess the creative compound word.
Wordplay for the win!
When we raise our voices, we put our children’s nervous systems on high alert. Naturally. Automatically. We are big and powerful, and they are not.
When frazzled, do you resort to shouting?
Research into abusive anger—the kind that stings and lingers and leaves the other person feeling stunned—shows that it takes up to a year to recover. A year—for each incident!
If we stack angry outbursts on top of one another, some kids live in a perpetual state of recovery from anger.
It can be hard to tell when we cross the line into harmful anger. I know for me, it helped when I would start to go down that path and then instead of yelling AT them, I’d yell TO them “Oh no! I’m freaking out over all the shoes in the hallway! I feel like yelling!”
After someone yells, sometimes they feel so much better in the moment that they can hardly remember the content of what they yelled or that they yelled at all. You remind them of the hurtful things they shouted and you get responses like:
Sometimes the yeller will feel badly and they try to quickly reset the relationship by apologizing or explaining. They might say:
Honor the child’s interpretation of what they experienced.
Resist trying to “get back to normal” as soon as possible. It can be hard to witness a loved one’s distress but remember, the yeller literally can’t feel as badly as the one yelled at.
Also, the yeller should not expect understanding for having yelled. Don’t seek comfort from the victim!
Apologies alone don’t work. Sitting with the person who was harmed is the place to start.
Shouting about LEGO you stepped on or an occasional exasperated outburst can usually be repaired swiftly with an apology. Sustained attacks, routine outbursts, name-calling…nope.
Love to all my yellers and yellees. This is a hard share.
As you try to decide what to wear for the day, your clothes start competing for your attention. Write their reasons for why you should choose one outfit instead of another.
New to freewriting? Check out our online guide.
