Collaborate with Compassion


When your child hates candles, parties, cookies, or hugs—ask yourself—were they offered to ‘get’ your kid to do something that mattered to you, more than it mattered to your child? If I hate running, simply promising me a candy bar at the end of 6 miles is not reward enough for me to cooperate with your agenda that I should be a runner.

When your child pitches a fit, or seems bored, or shows anxiety, the step to take is to receive it. To recognize the emotion as valid in that moment.

Collaborate with compassion—discover what stands in the way first. Then match the strategy to the need.

  • Does she need me to sit by her?
  • Can I ask a tired child how many problems or lines or paragraphs he can do today without wearing out?
  • Would it help to have quiet or a snack?
  • Does he need a break?
  • Does she need competition to test herself?
  • Have I failed to make this subject meaningful in its own right?

Collaborating with compassion means offering the corresponding support to the presenting need. (Jot that down.)

Here’s a helpful slide deck:

When the pixie dust fails, it may be your child senses a trick—a tactic aimed at meeting your goals rather than supporting a child in growing.

Pay attention and be patient. Experiment. Trust the process. ♥️

This post is originally from Instagram and @juliebravewriter is my account there so come follow along for more conversations like this one!

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