Archive for the ‘BW and public school’ Category

Keeping the home in homeschool

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

A friend shared her weekly schedule with me. Math tutoring on Wednesdays on one side of town; the twice-per-week biology class her daughter took on the other side of town; Celtic dance lessons; drawing class; piano for two kids; the weekly, day-long homeschool co-op; and three sports teams (with practices and games every week). She confessed to me that she was behind in writing. Of course, who wouldn’t be on that schedule? Then she made the funniest comment: “Wouldn’t it be great if you could get all the classes your kids needed in one building? Like you could get your math, biology, art, music and sports all in one place and not have to drive everywhere to go to them?”

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, we blurted together, “School. They call it school.”

And really, that’s the whole point of school. You get all the experts together to teach your kids all that they need/want to know, in one day, in one place. Parents take care of earning money and managing the home, kids go to a building to get an education. If you want that, school does it, efficiently and in some cases, well!

But most of us who home educate truly do not want that. We want something else. We want a higher quality education. We want relational connections with our kids and between our children. We want to have time for in-depth study. We want to take winter ski vacations and not miss “school.” We want our genius musicians to have plenty of time to practice or we want our star athletes to get enough sleep while they study and do their sports. We want to be the primary influences on our kids’ lives. We want to be the ones who see the lights go on in reading or fractions or Shakespeare. Or we hate the school district we live in, or can’t afford private schools.

It’s a tricky balance. We want to provide our kids with enriching experiences like field trips, tutors, co-ops, and violin lessons. We also want to consistently advance in the core subjects. In an effort to do it all, sometimes the “home” part of homeschool is lost. We bring school to the kitchen table and find it less and less inspired. So we add a bunch of outside activities and teachers, and the next thing you know: We’re car-schooling!

Back in the early days of home education, I read a long treatise on why parents ought to stay home, in the house, with their kids. The writer talked about rhythms and routines, modeling all kinds of life skills (plumbing and baking, creating a shopping list and sewing on buttons, filling the bird feeders and using the drill). She urged long sessions of reading aloud and leaving time for dress-ups and Legos, lying on a couch bored, face painting and knitting. She emphasized how busy-ness leads to a habit of breaking concentration, of not deeply investing in any one moment, project, or playtime because inside the child knows that that activity is about to be interrupted by another trip out the door.

With little kids, I had no trouble taking the “stay-at-home” advice to heart, though. We had one vehicle that I didn’t get to drive on week days, we didn’t own a TV, and the World Wide Web hadn’t been invented. So we stayed in, or we played on the front steps. But the pace of life, even with small kids, was slow. There were hours wasted on diaper changes, walks around the cul-de-sac, making muffins and taking naps. We read tons of picture books (took a laundry basket to the library and loaded up) and made play-doh from scratch.

And then, the world sped up. Cell phones, cable TV, Netflix (DVDs sent right to your door!), the Internet, two cars! The next thing I knew, the options of what I could do in and outside my tiny condominium with or for my kids flooded my life. Some of you only know homeschooling within that context of high-speed, 24/7 connections to All the Great Things to Do Every Day! You see and hear ads, you join email lists, you get calls from friends at any time of day. And of course, homeschooling itself has exploded in popularity in the last 20 years so there are more ways to spend your time and money than ever before (and plenty of advice that if you don’t do X, your child won’t be ready for Y!).

If you choose to homeschool, let’s put the home before school. What is home exactly?

Home. Cozy, pillows on a couch, blankets and a dog. Everyone who should be here is here. There’s a comfortable familiarity between us and I don’t have to figure out how to be. It’s a feeling that I’m not in a hurry or that I don’t have to be somewhere else. Home is what I come back to, not what I go out to. It’s the reset button, the safety net, the place where I know I can be my “self” just as I am and the people in my home will love and support me, will help me, will soothe me. Home is also where I can snack, nap, start a project and leave it out until it’s done. It’s where my secret stuff is hidden, it’s where all my materials are housed (I don’t have to cart anything around because it’s all in my home!). Home is a kitchen table where I eat family meals.

Home is also where I help myself to a drink or go to the bathroom when I want to. Home is a remote control, a telephone, a shower and a mailbox. Home is a hug from a mother and a game with my dad. Home is what I feel when I get off a plane in my city after a long trip and know my bed will feel better than any other bed in the whole world. Home is vanilla candles and cinnamon pine cones and tea in a thermos. Home is where dust bunnies grow and books litter the floor, where everyone watches American Idol and laughs together, and where I can hide in my bedroom to read a long book without having to stop. Some say you can take home with you. But I discovered years ago that home is actually a physical place, filled with people, memories and materials that help me to recharge so I can leave it again. When I lost my home (when my parents divorced in high school), I had to create a new one each new place I lived. Home matters. I can’t take it for granted.

We ask our homes to do double duty when we homeschool. We bring a memory of “school” from a building (that hard-working place) that was not home into our homes. We sometimes take the pressures of school as we remember it and add it into the mix of education at home. The safe space called home (that our kids intuitively know is supposed to be safe and peaceful) is now the competitive, demanding space of school. Grades and achievement happen “out there” for most people and home is the retreat. We’re asking our kids to marry the two, like oil stirred into water.

Awareness that we are, in fact, expecting our kids to work hard at home (when the spirit of home is slower, more restful, not driven to meet deadlines) is the first step. But the second step has to be changing how we understand education! If we truly believe that the competitiveness and the standardized lesson-plans, workbook style teaching of school are inferior to the tutorial-based educational style of homeschooling, then we need to stop hand-wringing about outcomes (progress) and imposing a schoolish format to the work we do with our kids!

For instance, moms call me asking how to help their kids with grammar or freewriting. A child doesn’t like it and isn’t doing it. The only idea the mom has to get it done is punitive (like withholding computer time, or shaming the child into it with prophecies of how horribly her chances for college are if she doesn’t master subordinate clauses, and so on). I try to offer “homey” advice, instead. Tell your child that you know grammar isn’t her thing, that it’s hard and tedious and she would rather not do it. Then make an offer of support that shows goodwill. Rub her shoulders before she starts, or get her a colored gel pen to write with, make her brownies or offer to pour her a cup of tea in her favorite mug. Let her do grammar by a roaring fire. Plug in her iPod and finish the page listening to a favorite band. Consider changing programs or doing grammar for a month on, a month off. Help grammar fit the mood of home.

I remind the mom: “You’re at home. Be homey. Support, nurture, be gentle.” It’s okay to be firm occasionally too (we all have to). But do it in the spirit of protecting the home environment as a safe, peaceful, nurturing space. Don’t undermine the power of home education through yelling, punishment, name-calling, harassment, withholding kindness, blaming, defining (telling your child he or she will not succeed in life unless…). Brainstorm solutions. Be your child’s ally. Always honor pain.

Don’t make an injured athlete play; don’t make a crying child learn.

Start with the premise that everyone in the home is on the same team, that all the resources you need to learn and grow together are in your house. Offer kindness and help as often as you can, even if the only thing you can think of in the moment is to acknowledge that the work is hard and you understand that your child doesn’t want to do it.

Later this week, I’ll post practical ways you can put “home” back into your education. Questions or ideas in the comments section would be great!

Black Friday Coupon

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Hi Everyone!

Last year we offered a Black Friday Coupon for Brave Writer products. It is issued through the email list (what we call “The Zipline”) which you can sign up for on the home page of the website or you can send your email address to help@bravewriter.com and we’ll add you. The coupon enables you to get $25.00 rebate for any purchase of $120.00 or more, or $50.00 rebate for a purchase that is $200.00 or more. The coupon is only good for 24 hours (midnight of November 27 to midnight of November 28, 2009, EST). You can only get the coupon code if you sign up for the email list.

This coupon is good for products only, not classes.

You may share the code with friends, but they need to be on the email list to activate the code. They can add themselves, or they can send their email addresses to me at the above email address.

We will have a few new products to choose from by next Friday too (will send out an email to the list announcing them in the next week). We hope this little bit of holiday help enables you to stock up on all your Brave Writer needs for the coming semester!

Psst: pass it on!

Alvin Toffler on what’s right and wrong with school

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Read this article: Future School

Alvin Toffler of Future Shock fame tackles the failures of public education in this article. What I find so refreshing reading it is how homeschooling, unschooling, charter schools, independent study programs have anticipated the exhaustion of the current model of education. Check out these wonderful comments and think about how you naturally create learning:

For example: Should education be compulsory? And, if so, for who? Why does everybody have to start at age five? Maybe some kids should start at age eight and work fast. Or vice versa. Why is everything massified in the system, rather than individualized in the system? New technologies make possible customization in a way that the old system — everybody reading the same textbook at the same time — did not offer.

(more…)

Keeping up with the Joneses in school

Tuesday, March 25th, 2008

One of the challenges of homeschooling is that most of us never were. We grew up in schools. We have the voices of a dozen administrators and teachers whispering in our heads as we teach our children. They ask us if our kids are doing enough “school work,” if they are “grade appropriate,” if they could survive if they were ever put in school.

Sometimes even our spouses or parents add volume to these voices with specific questions:

“Did you do anything today?”

“Why doesn’t Katie know her times tables like her cousin?”

I know that for me, these voices get loudest when I’ve been distracted and not attentive to my kids. If a week goes by where I’ve had two dental appointments, a trip to the vet, lots of business and a flooded basement, the routine of activities that reassures me that my kids are getting a better education (or at least, a different one) than their schooled peers is sidelined. When that happens, I doubt my effectiveness as a home educator and all those whispers become shouts.

A personal philosophy of home education is critical to resisting the voices. I’ve noticed that today’s new homeschoolers often start right out with curricula and skip what I consider the most important step in the homeschooling journey: developing a philosophy of education. Brave Writer, for instance, isn’t a system or schedule or curricula as much as it is a philosophy of language arts and writing that then gets executed very differently from what is done in school. The process and results don’t match well with 3rd grade language arts or 5th grade creative writing. The only way to embrace the difference is to believe in and be reassured by the philosophy (and documented evidence of its effectiveness) when you wander down this very different path to your children’s education.

So what should be done to develop that philosophy of education and what good is it at the end of the year when your kids have to take standardized tests (as they do in some states)?

Let’s look at each piece:

The Philosophy
Home education is deliberately not “school.” The home education movement removes children from buildings, teachers and curricula to bring them home to spend the day with parents. Parents’ reasons for this non-traditional educational path have ranged from religious conviction to special needs support to accelerated learning to real life learning (as opposed to learning from a canned curricula). Each one of us must spend time identifying our reasons for homeschooling. It helps to read books, to join email lists, to chat online in homeschool discussion groups, to meet monthly with a local support group. These are the places where you cultivate your convictions about why home education is the right choice for your family.

Remember: there is no perfect educational model that will yield better results in every category, in every condition. You can’t expect kids educated at home who aren’t being drilled to death for standardized tests to do as well as kids whose teachers spend half the year preparing their kids to take those same tests. That some of our kids do better than the kids in school without all that preparation is even more remarkable! If you are a home educator, standardized testing is one good reason to keep your kids out of the system so that all they have to do is take the tests, not be enslaved to them for half a school year. Additionally, no one is going to make your child “go to school” for a low score. Find out what the minimum score is that your state requires to show advancement and then shoot for that. You are educating a whole person, not a test taker.

The Practice
When you’ve determined your philosophy of home education and have developed it to include why you see it as a better choice than the alternative, it’s time to think about how to carry out your philosophy. Here’s the trick, though. The practice is nothing like what you remember from school. That means (pay attention here) the results will look different than what you get in school. Some of what you accomplish will be light years better in an obvious way (snuggling on the couch, great discussions about a book you are reading aloud, trips to the zoo, kitchen science experiments that are bubbly and dramatic, nature walks that lead to blackberry bushes, learning to read at one’s own pace, math facts learned without ever studying them). Other results will seem inferior (not as advanced in math or spelling or writing as age mates in school, timidity in your child, no cool projects to hang on the wall, standardized test scores not as high as you imagined).

Even some schooled kids have low test scores, don’t learn their times tables well, are poor writers and readers, and find it difficult to sustain friendships in the school setting.

Read that last sentence again. For some reason, when we compare our kids to schooled kids, we tend to compare our normal kids to the top of the class in school. We just assume that the norm in school is higher than what our kids are producing, but that is patently false. Think back to your own school career and the friends you had. Some of you excelled at everything, but many of you are painfully aware of your own gaps as an adult. You remember friends who fell through the cracks, or who had to repeat a grade.

Home education is not about scores, proving oneself in the arena of “A” students or even meeting the demands of school scopes and sequences. Home education is about nurturing your children’s love of learning so that as they encounter new and interesting aspects of the world around them (the sciences, history, literature, art, music, poetry, theater, nature, astronomy, movies, writing, crafts, gardening, cooking, cleaning up after one’s self, driving a car, making a friend, redecorating a bedroom…), they feel inspired and competent to learn all they need to about the subject at hand.

We are attempting to create a rich educational environment that is not out of a box or canned curricula, but that invites participation! We homeschool because we want to catalyze a love of learning. We homeschool because we value each child’s unique pace in acquiring what he or she needs for a successful, satisfying, meaningful place in the adult world.

So standardized tests? Don’t stress about them. Evaluate your home education by your philosophy and practice, not by how school measures it.

Brave Writer, afterschooling and public schooled kids (Part Two)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

So how can Brave Writer help your kids if they’re in school or if they are used to “school at home” (where homeschool duplicates the learning style of school with text books, workbooks and schoolish expectations)?

The important part of writing that gets overlooked (sometimes) by a school setting is the writer’s natural writing voice. While punctuation, grammar and spelling are important to the finished product of writing, these are not central to the art of writing (that process of dredging up words from the deep and getting them onto paper).

Writing has to make space for risk. Without risk, writers don’t grow. They may learn how to conform to expectations adequately, but they will not flourish as writers. What that means is that if your child is in a program at school that is squelching his or her natural writing voice, where you see writing developing into a resented subject, it’s time to intervene. Here are some practical tips for how Brave Writer can help you help your kids.

  1. Introduce weekly freewriting. Freewriting is the process by which kids get to express their written ideas and thoughts without the pressure to perform to someone else’s expectations. For kids in school, the initial feeling about freewriting might be that they are sick of writing and would like a break (not more of it at home). To counteract that feeling, try freewriting in a new setting. Get out of the house, sip a hot drink and freewrite together. You can turn a weekly freewriting time into shared quality time together. Explain that this writing is meant to help the child take risks, explore his or her sense of humor, to write all the silly things he or she wants to get out but cant in school.
  2. Make use of the Keen Observation exercise. You don’t need to do this one every week, but it is very beneficial a couple times a year. The purpose of the Keen Observation Excerise is to help your child see the world more closely giving it language to express what is seen. For afterschooling, this particular exercise offers your kids the chance to slow the process of writing down. Rather than producing full sentences or paragraphs, the child gives full attention to phrases and words that match his or her experience of the item being observed. This exercise then gives you a bench mark for school writing projects. How can your child recall that experience of engaged observation to convey the assignment’s topic?
  3. Read to your kids. There’s a tendency to think that if a child can read, that student should read to himself. Schools no longer indulge in reading to children much past age 9. You can do it differently. Rather than everyone finishing an evening together in front of the TV, select a quality work and read it a chapter at a time before bed each night. Fiction is wonderful, but don’t forget about quality non-fiction too. We’ve read books like The Wind Masters (about the flight and habits of raptors) as well as Where in the World? A Geografunny Guide to your Globe as read alouds because they were well-written and entertaining. When you read to a child, you slow the words down so that your son or daughter really hears them. You have the chance to explain processes or plot twists, you enjoy the humor, you live the story together and will naturally find connecting points in your daily life. These book experiences help your child internalize quality writing.
  4. Go easy on school grades for writing. Remember that elementary and junior high school grades don’t mean much in the scheme of things. Getting poor marks for spelling or handwriting says nothing about a student’s ability to write. When you read anything your child produces for school, identify what you really loved about the content and ignore any remarks on the paper about the mechanics of writing. Focus all your attention on the language (word choices) and content (what the child attempted to convey). Keep your remarks to the strictly positive. Be specific, “You know so much about hummingbirds. I didn’t know that they ____________. And how funny that you call them “Little honeysuckle suckers” because that is so much what they’re like. The words make music when I read them.” Save and share any writing your kids produce that they like with someone else (spouses make perfect audiences, but so do grandparents, aunts, uncles, close family friends).

The Writer’s Jungle is still an excellent resource for moms whose kids are in school. It helps mothers understand how to facilitate and support a child’s growth as a writer. Certainly there are additional challenges to overcome since school writing is heavy on correction and slight on meaningful praise. Your job is to shore up what the teacher fails to do. Become your child’s ally, not one more critical voice.

If you don’t know how to do that, sign up for Kidswrite Basic. This class can be done in combination with school (we’ve had several public school parents and kids in our courses over the years). You’ll discover more than how to  write, but how to be the person in your child’s life that can overcome the negative influences of poor writing instruction.

Brave Writer, afterschooling and public schooled kids (Part One)

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

I’ve had several emails asking about how Brave Writer fits with public schooling or if it can be used for afterschooling. The answer is a resounding yes!

I have two experiences to share that might shed a little light on how writing in public school is experienced and perceived.

My roommate friend from college called me to ask for writing help and advice for her then 9 year old daughter. Apparently this natural writer had already lost her enthusiasm for telling stories, doodling, and writing. Her teacher had assigned the class a daily journaling practice. Jennifer’s writing had gone from delightful retelling of the little events in her life to carefully crafted, correctly punctuated two or three sentences that recounted nothing more important than what she had eaten for breakfast.

Upon further inquiry by me, I discovered that this teacher was red-inking these daily journal entries. Each one was graded for grammar, spelling, punctuation and neatness (penmanship). At age nine, little Jennifer had already figured out that she was “safest” if she kept her entries short, avoided any words she didn’t know how to spell and limited her sentences to only a few words at a time.

Cyndy called to ask me: “What has happened to my daughter’s love of writing and her bright imagination?” Cyndy wondered how to rekindle Jennifer’s enthusiasm for language in written form now that school had snuffed it out. I had to wonder: What good is proper punctuation, spelling and tidy handwriting if the contents were tedious to read?

Becky, a homeschooling mother getting her feet wet with Brave Writer, has a different perception of school and sent an email to ask me this question:

Julie,

Why is it that public schools seem to teach writing so much better (or at least more easily) than homeschoolers? What are we doing wrong? What are they doing right? I hear from you and from lots of other homeschoolers to not worry so much and that things then to work out without so much worry. I want my child to WRITE and the public school students seem to do it so easily. What should I change? Should I change?

We are beginning on our Writer’s Jungle journey and are enjoying Freewrites and Teatimes and Copywork/Dictation with the Arrow. My son is nine years old.

I thought maybe you might be able to answer this question in you blog at sometime in the future.

Thanks,

Becky in WA

It is interesting that her son is also nine years old. I emailed her back with a few questions and Becky sent a second email:

I suppose some of the reason that I feel the public schools are doing a better job at teaching writing is based on the quantity of work that the children produce and the ease with which they control a pencil (neat handwriting). Public school seems to do more writing than homeschoolers do and it isn’t a big deal to the students. Sometimes it seems like pulling teeth to get two sentences out of my son.

For example: Public school: write in you journal today; answer these questions (in writing) about the film we just watched, do written corrections in your grammar book of these sentences, write a sentence with each of your spelling words, do this type of book report, etc. My son acts like he is dying having to write anything, and I worry that I have done something wrong by not pushing or requiring more of him. Admittedly, he loves to write on his own (horrible spelling and few capitals or periods) and really doesn’t mind the freewrite/copywork things we are doing with writer’s jungle (sic). But we still do a lot of work orally and his handwriting is awful.

I wonder if my son has more than the usual problems with writing (such as dysgraphia) or if he is fine. But there seem to be a lot of homeschooled boys whose mothers can’t get them to write. What are we doing wrong?

Becky

From the inside, school writing feels stifling, contrived and sometimes, overwhelming, particularly to kids who struggle to write (and there are plenty of those types of kids in public school). From the outside, that reassuring stack of completed writing assignments with happy faces, stickers and the requisite red ink creates the impression of cooperative, effective writing instruction. Not so fast Charley.

Let’s take a closer look at the differences between school in a building and school at home. First, classrooms hold some 20-30 children with one teacher. That teacher doesn’t have time to hold rich conversations with each child about his or her reactions to a film, book, play or art project. The teacher can’t sit side by side with each kid discussing writing conventions, accommodating learning styles, giving unlimited time to complete a project, tailoring an assignment to fit the individual strengths and weaknesses of the child. She might want to. And many of the good ones figure out how to do as much of that as they can within the confines of school. Still, logistically speaking, school is about managing a large group and moving them through pre-designed steps that must be covered by year’s end.

The truth is, what counts in school is performance on year-end district or statewide tests. Those tests measure the measurable. They aren’t looking at how rich the imagination is, or how sophisticated the vocabulary, or how intensely that student mastered a specific area of interest (like art from the Renaissance or why an owl’s head can turn 360 degrees or how Pokemon cards are organized). Paragraphs organized according to formula (for easy grading), spelling, grammar and punctuation get top billing. Training kids to tolerate a lot of writing is top priority.

In a controlled environment where mothers are not present, students learn how to manage their anxiety around writing. Some shut down the creativity (like Jennifer), some are funneled into special needs groups (even kids who don’t have special needs but who just need a bit more time to mature), some begin to hate school. (Of course there are some kids who enjoy school and writing and don’t have these reactions too. Those kids would do well in any learning environment and make up a smaller percentage of the whole.)

Public school does what we can’t do at home: It sets a normative daily practice that kids feel compelled to obey despite their abilities, interest level or needs. They are trained early on that success in that environment requires compliance, coping, and copying (the models, the methods and the manner of learning).

Home education is less coercive by nature. Phone calls, dental appointments and holiday preparations interrupt “school,” mothers are warm and cuddly (usually) and responsive to complaints. Parents can know that a child is learning without a worksheet, they can enjoy and savor a child’s latest in-depth exploration of a topic because there is time enough, space enough, caring enough for those conversations to occur. Writing is a part of a whole life, not a requirement to finish so recess can begin, so the report card will be good, so the teacher will be satisfied.

In short, writing at home has an entirely different character and quality than it does in school. It develops more the way talking developed in your children. A nine year old boy may really feel that handwriting is torture (just so you know, lots of nine year olds in school feel that way too however they have no options but to do what they hate anyway). As parents at home, we have the chance to do it differently.

As I told Cyndy, writing has to become a means of communication that the child values in order for it to ever be more than the execution of duty on behalf of someone else’s agenda. I sent Cyndy some of the exercises we use in Kidswrite Basic as well as The Writer’s Jungle (I’ll write more about these in Part Two). We talked about how to get the joy and life back into her daughter’s experiences. I suggested that Cyndy talk to the teacher and ask her to let journal entries be free of corrections so that kids could take writing risks while they are developing. I suggested books that she could recommend to the teacher about how writing develops in children.

As home educators, we can do all of this and more. We can give space for freedom in writing (without corrections), we can take time for our kids’ hands to develop so that they don’t hate the physical act of writing which then sets the pattern of hating written communication. We can celebrate the insight despite the spelling. There’s no crime in having bad spelling at age 9. Think of it this way. When your toddler misspeaks, you don’t worry that other kids from daycare are better “talkers.” You chuckle when he says “mazazine” and means “magazine” because you know over time, he’ll learn to say it correctly. Same thing is true when he writes “becuz.” Jot it down in the baby book as evidence of a “cute stage” he’s in.

The point is this: homeschool and public school are profoundly different in their outlook and methods of education. Don’t expect home to mirror school and vice versa. However, given the limitations and strengths of each, there are ways to preserve and cultivate a love for writing. Tomorrow’s entry will discuss how to create a space at home (either for afterschooling or homeschooling) that releases the writer within your child.