Comments on: What’s love got to do with it?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:40:07 +0000

Thank you SO MUCH for this! I could see myself making some of the harsh recommendations you mentioned…this was the eye-opener I needed. Children are people, too, and deserve as much compassion as adults. I will re-read this post weekly to remind myself. I’m also planning to post a link to it on my blog. Again, thank you.

By: Ramae

Ramae — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 14:38:25 +0000

Julie,

You are a true Godsend for our family. I simply don’t know how I would survive home schooling without your wonderful Writer’s Jungle and especially your thoughts and perspective on children, home schooling, life and love.

I pick up the Writer’s Jungle and read your blog to not only find new writing ideas, but also to pick up some positive, loving energy. What a difference you have made!

Thanks so much!
Ramae

By: Jodi

Jodi — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 13:05:10 +0000

Julie,
This is why we love you and the Bravewriter philosophy so much. Thank you for that.

You are appreciated!
Jodi

By: Nancy Connolly

Nancy Connolly — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:35:11 +0000

Love, Love and more Love. Those are the instructions that every child comes with and God wrote them right onto your heart!

By: Penny

Penny — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:05:49 +0000

Amazing post - can’t wait for Wednesday!

I hope you also post the reply to the person who asked the question, sounds like she (and her son) could use a little compassion themselves…

I just recently had a breakthrough moment (sometimes I’m a little thick LOL) where I realized I had completely lost track of the idea that homeschool was about HOME more than *school* - those boards had completely brainwashed me!

Lucky for me, there are people like you posting words like these and teatime recipes to keep me on track!

Awesome, awesome post. Thank you again…

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:27:01 +0000

Just beautiful, Julie. I have an 11 yr old who has a terrible time getting schoolwork done. Even though a lot of his problems are beyond his control (Asperger’s), I still react with frustration and anger at times. I needed this, and I cannot wait for Wednesday’s post!

By: Jewel

Jewel — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:33:58 +0000

Wow Julie! Thank you for so clearly voicing my philosophy, and thank you for reminding me of it at this moment!

By: Julie Bogart

Julie Bogart — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 11:04:33 +0000

Amy, I have a son who cried when he turned 10, sad that his days at McDonald’s playlands would soon be over. I have a daughter who at 13 undulated in her ability to buckle down and work (though she is the hardest of workers now) and the need to just do nothing (I’m sure so much of that year was hormonal). I have another child who couldn’t face daily work at the table *until* he hit thirteen. Now he’s the one who is clicking along, happy to do what he needs to do, reminding me each day of what those daily assignments are.

What feels big one day, one month, one year often transforms itself with a little love, time and help. It’s easy to forget, too, that this is the first (and only!) time these kids go through their childhoods. They aren’t always good at expressing their needs. They tend to express feelings instead. Tomorrow, I’m going to write a bit about how to translate their language of emotion into what it means about what they need.

By: Dana

Dana — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 06:15:11 +0000

These boards can be tough. I think most of it is because you have a sort of limited sense that the other people are “real.” You are just looking at situations as an objective observer. I doubt any of the people involved would say those things in those ways if they were chatting over coffee in their own home.

I’ve received some of it, but learned quickly that it really isn’t the best place to air frustrations.

By: Anna

Anna — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 00:23:51 +0000

Oh Julie! What a joy, as always, to read your perspective. Thank you so much for pulling together this post and giving us your thoughtful insights too.

My daughter has gone through the same thing (and to a degree still is). With your insights about this time last year, I found the courage to back off from the strictures of education and emphasise that she was more important than the “education”. My stance horrified many, but it has borne good fruit. She said to me the other day that she really likes who she is now - and a year ago, that was my greatest desire.

To a degree, I can understand where some of the tougher replies that you quote are coming from - sometimes love must be tough. When the rubber meets the road, though, it’s always about knowing your child, and figuring out what will be the best for them long-term. Forsaking my nice, neatly-packaged perceptions of home education and hugging my daughter and talking with her has done more for her than anything else could have, and I’m so glad I allowed myself to release my pr-conceived ideas and “go with it”.

After talking with many, many mothers of teens, I suspect that as you wrote during 2007 about home educating teens, that this “difficult” phase is part of their development. I see it as a time for parents to let go, but stand really close while the teens learn to handle the reins of their own life for themselves.

Thank you for all your inspiration and encouragement. You are helping so many of us to see good fruit yielded in our beloved offspring.